The Omicron variant of the virus that causes COVID-19 was discovered in sewage samples collected in Tulsa on Friday, December 17.
The discovery of the Omicron variant was made through the efforts of a team comprised of scientists, epidemiologists and public health leaders from the University of Oklahoma, OU Health, the Tulsa Health Department and the City of Tulsa and supported by the Pandemic Prevention Institute at the Rockefeller Foundation. People infected with SARS-CoV-2 shed the virus in their waste before they develop symptoms of COVID-19, allowing scientists to provide an early warning of surges and, now, the presence of the new variant.
Since September 2020, the team has been monitoring wastewater drainages in Tulsa, Oklahoma City and, more recently, several smaller cities. Wastewater samples are collected by a team led by Jason Vogel, Ph.D., Grant Graves and Caitlin Miller of the Oklahoma Water Survey at OU and are analyzed by a team of microbiologists led by Bradley Stevenson, Ph.D., Ralph Tanner, Ph.D. and Erin Jeffries of the Department of Microbiology and Plant Biology at OU.
“By collecting wastewater from multiple communities across the state, we have a sampling network that represents more than 1.2 million Oklahomans,” Vogel said. “That has allowed us to sample more than 30 percent of the state’s population and detect the Omicron variant in wastewater as it starts to move into the state.”
“We have seen the concentration of SARS-CoV-2 in wastewater increasing recently, to concentrations higher than we have ever observed. This increase has been driven by COVID-19 caused by the Delta variant. However, the recent detection of the Omicron variant in wastewater means that a significant number of Tulsans are now infected with it. While our data suggests that infections from the Omicron variant are still a fraction of the infections from Delta variant SARS-CoV-2, Omicron is on the rise. Monitoring wastewater will allow us to track its prevalence more quickly and with less effort than patient testing,” Stevenson said.
“The detection of Omicron in Tulsa’s sewage highlights the power of wastewater testing as an early signal and complement to other surveillance approaches. The Rockefeller Foundation and the team at the Pandemic Prevention Institute are proud to support this cutting-edge work,” said Megan Diamond, manager and wastewater lead at The Rockefeller Foundation.
Public health officials reiterated the importance of getting vaccinated or receiving a booster shot and wearing a mask in public indoor settings. Because wastewater analysis predicts the presence of the virus about a week before infections may be reported through human testing, researchers know the Omicron variant is already spreading in the state.
“Although the Delta variant of COVID-19 is still the most dominant variant in Oklahoma currently, Omicron will most likely become the dominant variant in a few weeks or months,” said infectious disease epidemiologist Katrin Kuhn, Ph.D. of the Hudson College of Public Health at the OU Health Sciences Center. “The evidence thus far shows that the Omicron variant is more transmissible than previous variants, so it is important that people get vaccinated if they’re not already, or get the booster if they’re eligible. Vaccinations are very effective at preventing severe illness, hospitalizations and death.”
“It is more important than ever that people who are unvaccinated get vaccinated as soon as possible and those who are fully vaccinated get their booster,” said Tulsa Health Department Executive Director Dr. Bruce Dart. “It’s also important to stay home when sick to prevent the spread of illness. Testing is a great resource to know your COVID-19 status before going around others. Masking indoors where social distancing may be difficult, regardless of vaccination status, is also recommended. The Tulsa Health Department encourages all residents to continue to take a layered prevention approach to stay safe.” Even though the Omicron variant appears to be more easily transmitted than the Delta variant, early evidence suggests that the symptoms of infection could be milder, Kuhn said. That points toward a classic trajectory for viruses in general, including possibly SARS-CoV-2, the virus that causes COVID-19.
“For viruses to survive in the human population, in time they often evolve to become more transmissible but less lethal in order to keep multiplying,” Kuhn said. “That’s actually good news. Even though we may have to learn to live with COVID-19 indefinitely, a positive scenario is for it to become milder and eventually turn into something like the common cold.”
The characteristics of the Omicron variant also underscore the importance of wastewater surveillance, Kuhn said. Because people infected by Omicron may not experience major symptoms, they may not get tested; therefore, official test results won’t accurately reflect the infection rate.
“If people don’t feel as sick with an Omicron infection as they do with the Delta variant, they may not get tested, but wastewater analysis provides a picture of everyone who is infected whether they have symptoms or not and whether or not they get tested,” she said. “In that respect, it’s actually more important to monitor the wastewater because it gives us a very good indication of how much transmission there is in a community.”

Story and OU story scans by Darl DeVault, Contributing Editor

Remembering is a common theme among seniors, which comes with being retirement privileged and the contemplation of a full life rich in accomplishment. This gift of remembering was recently brought home by the power of technology and the Internet when Oklahomans made the 120 years of the University of Oklahoma’s student newspaper available to read online.
For many who wrote for the paper or attended OU, the linkage of personal memory to the passage of time in their lives becomes more precious as they age.
Oklahomans and interested people worldwide can explore and search OU’s history from their computers, one article or photograph at a time. This opportunity puts our state and our state’s most prominent research university in a new light in the age of the Internet, now 30 years on. (story continues below)

The Oklahoma Historical Society recently partnered with the Carl Albert Congressional Research and Studies Center (CACRSC) to digitize the OU’s student newspapers, including all issues from 1897 to 2017.
“The Oklahoma Historical Society is excited to make the OU’s Student Newspapers Collection available on the Gateway to Oklahoma History (https://gateway.okhistory.org/explore/partners/CACR/),” said Chad Williams, Oklahoma Historical Society director of research. “Through this partnership with OU and the Carl Albert Congressional Research and Studies Center, along with the University Library and Journalism School, we have made the entire history of OU available with a click of your mouse.”
9,557 OU student newspapers are now available to research, read, and revisit. As the senior archivist at the Carl Albert Center’s Congressional Archives, JA Pryse, an OU graduate, supervised the digital scanning and indexing.
The OU Student Newspapers Collection comprises work produced across various publications chronicling the evolution of OU since its earliest days.
“Just as town newspapers are a snapshot of every community in Oklahoma, the student newspaper is a daily snapshot of the history of OU and their students and faculty throughout the years,” Williams said in an interview. “Inclusion of these newspaper issues on the free online Gateway to Oklahoma History allows that history to come alive for generations to come as they share these word-searchable digital files on social media or download them to their computer.”
From its 1897 beginning as a student-run semiweekly, the newspaper’s name has evolved. The collection includes the “Sooner State Press,” founded by H. H. Herbert as a School of Journalism teaching tool from 1920—75.
By the mid-1970s, the pre-computer newsroom printed it as “the Oklahoma Daily.” By the time the newsroom was powered by CompuScan VDTs and an electronic back shop, it was slugged as “The Oklahoma Daily.” Going online, the print edition now known as “OU Daily” became weekly while the “OU Daily.com” is updated daily, complete with videos.
For more than 120 years, the paper has been OU’s public forum in all its forms. It has been the only independent, entirely student-run media outlet dedicated to serving OU’s students, faculty, staff, and alumni on campus, in the state, and worldwide. The paper has won 47 major national organization awards, making it one of America’s leading university newspapers.
Former OUDaily staffers are now foreign correspondents, editors, and reporters for The Wall Street Journal, CNN, The Washington Post, Bloomberg News, and many others. The paper has also educated a Pulitzer Prize winner, its current staff advisor, Seth Prince.
As with every collection on the Gateway to Oklahoma History, these newspapers can be explored by resource type, decade, and title. In addition, each issue can be searched for specific wording, while individual pages can be enlarged and downloaded.
This collection of 200,000 pages was digitized with the generous support of the Inasmuch Foundation in 2020. The grant allowed the CACRSC, OU, and the OHS the opportunity to make these indispensable community resources available online, free of charge. This electronic evolution of the student paper is in keeping with its long tradition of keeping up with technology. The paper was one of the first six university newspapers in America to go digital. In 1976, it purchased a CompuScan system for its students and editors to enter the desktop publishing world.
The CACRSC is a unique and nonpartisan institution striving to strengthen representative democracy through scholarship, learning, and service. It was established in 1979 by the Oklahoma State Regents for Higher Education and the OU Board of Regents. The center is a tribute to the ideals and leadership of the Honorable Carl Albert, native Oklahoman, OU graduate, Rhodes Scholar, and the 46th speaker of the US House of Representatives.
“This project has placed nearly 10,000 newspaper issues online and will only grow as current issues are published and placed on the Gateway in the future,” Williams said. “This partnership reflects the Oklahoma Historical Society’s mission to collect, preserve and share the history of the state. I invite all history lovers and specifically all Oklahomans to go online and explore the Gateway to Oklahoma History. You will find millions of pages of Oklahoma newspapers, photographs, books, documents, maps, audio, and videos telling the story of our diverse and unique state.”

Oklahoman winner of the Bonnie Plants 3rd Grade Cabbage Program

Kids across the country are earning a lot of “green” after being selected as the “Best in State” in the Bonnie Plants 3rd Grade Cabbage Program. This year, nearly 200,000 third graders in the 48 contiguous states have gotten hands-on gardening experience growing colossal cabbages with one student in each state awarded a $1,000 scholarship towards education from Bonnie Plants, the largest grower of vegetable and herb plants in the U.S.
“We relaunched the 3rd Grade Cabbage Program in the spring as a safe, remote-friendly learning activity to inspire children of all backgrounds to grow a love of gardening,” said Mike Sutterer, President and CEO of Bonnie Plants. “After pausing the program last year because of the COVID-19 pandemic, we’re thrilled to once again see so many students were able to participate and learn the basics of gardening as well as life lessons like responsibility, self-confidence and accomplishment.”
At the beginning of the program, Bonnie sent each student a starter cabbage plant and the lessons needed to care for and nurture their plant every step of the way. Students took a photo with their cabbage when it was fully grown and submitted it for a chance to win the $1,000 scholarship. Winners were selected by Bonnie in collaboration with state departments of agriculture based on the student’s enthusiasm to participate and learn in addition to the size and overall appearance of their cabbage.
“It’s truly amazing to see firsthand how the 3rd Grade Cabbage Program is able to inspire a love of vegetable gardening in young people and grow our next generation of gardeners,” said Angela Thomas, Corporate Communications Manager at Bonnie Plants. “We’re proud of all of this year’s participants and would like to congratulate all of the winners whose hard work is paying off!”
Bonnie Plants launched the 3rd Grade Cabbage program in 1996, choosing cabbages because they were the first profitable crop the company sold. The cabbages utilized for the program are the O.S. Cross variety, which is known for producing giant, oversized heads of cabbage that can tip the scales at more than 40 pounds!
Getting involved in the 3rd Grade Cabbage Program is free. Fall registration for those who are located in USDA Hardiness Zones 8-11 is now open. Teachers and parents can click here to register their class or student. Registration opens in January for the spring growing season.
A McCurtain, OK student just earned a lot of “green” after being selected as Oklahoma’s winner.
Kynlei was selected by Bonnie Plants in collaboration with the Oklahoma Department of Agriculture, Food and Forestry based on the student’s enthusiasm to participate and learn in addition to the size and overall appearance of their cabbage.
“It’s truly amazing to see firsthand how the 3rd Grade Cabbage Program is able to inspire a love of vegetable gardening in young people and grow our next generation of gardeners,” said Angela Thomas, Corporate Communications Manager at Bonnie Plants. “We’re proud of all of this year’s participants and would like to congratulate Cameron whose hard work is paying off!”
“The Bonnie Plants 3rd Grade Cabbage Program is a wonderful way for teachers and parents to introduce children to agriculture through a hands-on, engaging and memorable learning experience,” said Oklahoma Secretary of Agriculture Blayne Arthur. “It was inspiring to see the impressive cabbages that all of the students in Oklahoma were able to grow and we’re confident this is just the beginning of a lifelong gardening journey for them!”
To see the 2020-21 winners as they come in and learn more about the 2022 contest, please visit: bonniecabbageprogram.com.

COVID-19 Oklahoma Test Results

As of 2021-12-27 at 7:00 a.m.

By James Coburn, staff writer

Anita Bhandari, RN, and Reena Daniel, LPN, say their lives have been enriched by their nursing careers at Epworth Villa, located in Oklahoma City.
“We always strive to give the best care possible,” Daniel said.
Both women are charge nurses at Epworth on the skilled nursing unit, and both are furthering their education to advance their careers. They thrive on learning.
Daniel is working toward her Bachelor of Science degree in nursing at Oklahoma State University, while Bhandari is working toward becoming a nurse practitioner with a focus in gerontology.
Bhandari had already worked for one year as a CNA at Epworth Villa before becoming an RN. Helping seniors at Epworth is her purpose in life.
“That’s why I’m furthering my education,” she said.
Seven years ago, Bhandari began working at Epworth after earning her Bachelor of Science in Nursing degree from Wichita State University.
Daniel never thought she wanted to be a nurse even though all her family is in the medical field. However, her aspirations changed when she worked as a CNA at Mercy Hospital. She went to nursing school at Platt College where she earned her credentials to become an LPN. She joined the team at Epworth more than 10 years ago. (story continues below)

Today, Bhandari and Daniel arrive at work in the morning for their assignments. They make sure the certified medication aides and certified nurse aides are there. They know from their reports who among the residents needs some extra care.
The staff has a methodology of best practices to ensure that everybody is cared for according to each resident’s acuity level.
“I know I can go to anybody,” Bhandari said. “If I have any concerns — if I have anything I want to bring up to my administrator, she is very open to any of our ideas and she goes for it. It just feels like a big family. I’ve been here for so long. I had my bridal shower, my baby shower here and everything. We’re a community, we’re just bonded together, and we work well.”
This inviting sense of community transfers to all stages of residential care. Bhandari said it touches her heart to see people’s lives change from being independent to being more dependent on others.
“That change is very hard mentally and physically once you get into that age,” she said. “And for that change it just makes a big difference to have somebody there listening to you.”
The first encounters a nurse has with a patient is always important, Bhandari said. Getting to know a resident’s needs brings opportunities to learn how to motivate and encourage them during challenging times. Patients are assessed as individuals to tailor a personalized plan. Bhandari learns what sustains a person’s wellbeing. For some it’s being home with their pets. So, they will share photos and talk about what is dear to them.
In her own life Bhandari sets herself at ease by being with her 4-year-old daughter and family. Writing is relaxing for her, too. Her life is well balanced by being a nurse.
“I’ve just loved working here,” Bhandari said. “I know there are changes in leadership, rules, and protocols. Change is always difficult, but I’ve always loved working here. It’s a big part of my life. I’m very grateful for Epworth Villa.”
As with Bhandari, Daniel is mother as well. She is married with two children.
“So, pretty much right now, I’m pretty busy with working and taking care of the family and being in school,” Daniel said.
She loves to read and these days most of her reading comes from textbooks for learning.
“I love being a nurse, I wouldn’t want to do anything other than what I’m doing right now,” she continued.
Daniel is grateful for being a nurse in a skilled nursing unit, so she doesn’t visualize a nursing career in management. Her patients receiving skilled nursing care are generally there for a month, two weeks or possibly 100 days.
“I want to be on the floor where I can interact with patients and families. It’s what I enjoy doing,” she said. “I love when they get here, they are not able to do basic things and when they leave, they’re able to function on their own. When they leave, they always say thank you and they tell us how great we were. We have a lot of patients the come back because they love the care that we gave them. We love working here because it’s a great place to work and a great place for the residents. And, we really strive for these patients to be well taken care of, so when they leave here, they leave here happy.”
For more information visit: www.epworthvilla.org.

Casen Hazlewood of Ponca City is only two years old, yet he has spent much of his young life in the hospital. Casen was born on May 6, 2019 at just 26 weeks gestation. His mother Kari Hazlewood recalls the difficult pregnancy. “Casen and his identical twin brother, Hudson, had issues from the very beginning. They were diagnosed early on with what’s called twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome, where one of the babies gets more blood and nutrients than the other. In our case, Hudson was the dominant twin leaving Casen malnourished.”
When the boys were born, each weighed barely over a pound. Hudson was seemingly healthy given his size, while Casen struggled to survive. “Casen is a A picture containing person Description automatically generatedfighter. He has been battling something since before he was even born,” says Kari. “He may be tiny but he’s as tough as they come.”
It was determined Casen had selective intrauterine growth restriction, a condition that occurs when there is unequal placental sharing which leads to suboptimal growth of one twin. Casen was noticeably smaller and more compromised than his brother.
Sadly and unexpectedly, Hudson developed an infection and passed away 12 days after birth. When Casen came down with the same infection his parents feared the worse, but Casen somehow pulled through – as he would time and time again.
Casen would spend the first 154 days of his life in the neonatal intensive care unit.
“He was born in May and we finally got to take him home in October 2019,” remembers his mom. “We were home for six days when he suddenly stopped breathing and we had to rush him back to the hospital. This would unfortunately become our routine.”
Kari says each time Casen gets a mild cold or runs even a low-grade fever, he undoubtedly ends up back in the hospital. “Since his lungs aren’t fully developed he has a lot of respiratory issues and goes downhill fast, so at the first sign of sickness we just start heading to INTEGRIS Children’s. They are like our second family. We have spent so much time there. They all treat Casen as if he is their own child.” Doctors are hopeful Casen will eventually outgrow his frequent hospital visits as his lungs continue to develop and mature.
The staff at the pediatric intensive care unit at INTEGRIS Baptist Medical Center held a bubble send-off for Casen at the end of his last hospitalization, signifying the 177 days he has spent in the PICU overtime. “We just love Kari and Donnie and the entire Hazlewood family and wanted to do something really special for them,” says Erica Liddell, a certified child life specialist at INTEGRIS Children’s. “In all, between the NICU and the PICU and the 14 surgeries he’s endured, Casen has spent almost an entire year in the hospital. That’s half of his little life. So, we wanted to celebrate him in a big way.”
The send-off, which also included big sis Brynlee, was just in time for the holidays. The Hazlewoods say their Christmas wish is to keep Casen healthy and at home. “As much as we love the folks at INTEGRIS Children’s and want them to continue to be a part of Casen’s life,” says Kari. “We are hoping to see them less often in the new year! We want to see them socially, not just when Casen is sick.”

story and photo by Bobby Anderson, Staff Writer

For the past 17 years as a hospital chaplain, Mike Bumgarner helped patients and families with some of the toughest decisions they would ever face.
For nearly two decades before that, he served in ministry, helping guide individuals on their individual spiritual paths, navigating life’s ups and downs along the way.
“My greatest joy has always been just being with people. I’m an extrovert and I get energy from being with people,” Bumgarner said. “But focusing conversation and having a conversation around focused issues and helping people make determinations how they want to make their life better whatever that means … I get such great joy out of watching light bulbs come on in peoples’ minds.” (story continues below)

So there was little doubt in his mind that when he retired from the hospital and turned 70, the next chapter of his life would still be centered on helping people, this time as a life coach.
Bumgarner started his road to professional coaching in 2012 with formal training.
“I knew I wanted to do life coaching after I went through all of that,” he said. “The biggest challenge in doing coaching well is learning to ask really good questions instead of giving advice.”
Bumgarner is a member of The International Coaching Federation with the designation of Associate Certified Coach. Before serving as a hospital chaplain for 17 years, he served as a college minister for 22 years.
For 19 years he served on church staff as a college minister and pastoral care.
A staple in the Norman community, he also served on the Board of Education for Norman Public Schools.
He is able to incorporate his experience through years of chaplainship into his practice. He can help people through end-of-life issues, debriefing after tragedy, and general guidance for individuals and families facing traumatic experiences, terminal illness, or death.
It was friend Kelly Lashar, MA, LPC who Bumgarner says helped him make his dream a reality.
Lashar is co-founder of Restore Behavioral Health, a private counseling practice of independent contractors providing mental health and relationship care to the community.
With locations in Norman, Edmond and Midtown OKC, a team of different types of therapists and coaches, faith and non-faith based, bring a variety of education, training, experiences, personalities, and specialties.
The business plan for Bumgarner isn’t grandiose. He’s not out to build a practice for the masses.
He’d like to work two or three days per week, pouring into maybe 20-30 clients each month.
“None of us have it figured out,” he said. “A coach partners with a client or a team or a business to help them discover and put into action any agenda they deem will benefit their progress as a person or a company or a team.”
In short, coaching is designed to help a person maximize their potential.
That can take a lot of directions and oftentimes uncovers needs that have been hidden for some time. That’s why Bumgarner has a keen ear.
“If a client comes to me for coaching and it becomes obvious after two or three sessions that they are stuck in some issue from the past that is still greatly impacting their present, ethically I would offer the opportunity to refer them to a therapist,” he said. “You may not be knee-deep in the mud but you’re certainly ankle deep and you need to sit down and talk about this and that isn’t what I do.”
“Ethically, my job as a coach is to make sure I’m always distinguishing to you what I do as opposed to what you’re asking for.”
He says coaching is about discovery. Therapy is about recovery.
“I’m going to help you determine issues, challenge you on any kind of obstacles, any kind of belief systems or assumptions that could be inhibiting you from achieving whatever goal you’re setting,” he said. “That requires that I listen very deeply to what is said and what is not said and help you surface those things and help you design action plans to get you from where you are to where you want to be.”
And, ironically that is driven by the client.
“Coaches never tell clients what to do,” he said. “Clients in every session set the agenda. If they decide in the middle of the session they want to go a different direction the job of the coach is to go with them.”
But “there is a lot of collected wisdom,” Bumgarner smiled.

Sailors help maintain America’s advantage at sea. This means they do not always get to celebrate holidays with their loved ones. An Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, native serving in the United States Navy will celebrate the holidays with their fellow sailors in Guam.
“I’ve always enjoyed Christmas time,” said Petty Officer 3rd Class Crystal Smith. “I’d always be the first one to start decorating the tree and the first one to put on Christmas music. I would say that one of my favorite memories from the holidays would be when my dad and I would go to drive-thru Christmas light shows.”
Smith wants family back home to know they are missed this holiday season.
“I hope you enjoy this Christmas,” said Smith. “Please don’t worry about me not celebrating while out at sea because we are! There are ugly Christmas sweater contests, karaoke, Christmas card exchanges, white elephants and so much more going on. It is sad that I cannot be there, but please enjoy your Christmas. If you just put on ‘Baby, it’s Cold Outside,’ you can bet on me singing along a few thousand miles away.”
Smith serves as an operations specialist aboard USS Lake Champlain. As a member of the U.S. Navy, Smith, as well as other sailors, know they are a part of a tradition providing unforgettable experiences through leadership development, world affairs and humanitarian assistance.
“To me, serving in the Navy means becoming the best version of myself for myself and for my country,” added Smith. “It’s a very prideful thing to be a part of.”

by Greg Schwem

The elves gathered around their home monitors at 2:40 p.m., per Santa’s emailed instructions. Unable to congregate in the main workshop or communicate face to face with their boss since COVID-19 struck the North Pole in March 2020, they wearily clicked the Zoom link Santa provided.
Soon, Santa’s grainy image appeared. The elves were perplexed. Normally Santa chose a holiday-themed background; there were hundreds to choose from since Mrs. Claus had installed a green screen in the garage housing Santa’s sleigh. But this time Santa sat at his kitchen table, a blank wall behind him. The table contained a legal pad and a half-consumed glass of eggnog.
“I come to you with not great news,” Santa began.
Yes, COVID-19 had caused supply chain issues, but the elves had pivoted and were still on track to produce the Marvel action figures, the Harry Potter Lego sets and the Jurassic World Super Colossal Tyrannosaurus rex toys that dotted kids’ online wish lists in 2021. Maybe the news involved the T. rex. It was no secret that Santa had added some “COVID pounds.” So, lugging dinosaurs down chimneys would be a tall order this Christmas Eve.
“This has been a very challenging year,” Santa continued.
“Well duh,” an elf responded, careful to first ensure his microphone was muted.
“The market has changed, and we have to change with it,” Santa said. “Some kids, particularly older ones, are opting for ‘experiences’ rather than toys. Try as we might, we can’t manufacture whale watching excursions and hot air balloon rides from the workshop.”
“That’s what gift cards are for,” another elf mumbled.
“Excuse me?” Santa said.
“Nothing, sir. That was my dog,” the elf replied.
“We are laying off about 15% of the workforce,” Santa said, removing his bifocals for emphasis. Audible gasps were heard, and a few elves responded with elf profanities, the most popular being, “Holy Snickerdoodle!”
“If you are on this call, you are part of the unlucky group,” Santa said.
His words hit the elves like the weight of a falling Christmas tree. How could Santa be so cruel? Hadn’t he learned anything from Better.com CEO Vishal Garg? On Dec. 1, the mortgage lending company’s founder terminated more than 900 staffers via Zoom. In his address, Garg said it was the “second time he had to do this.” The elves could never remember Santa doing anything similar and many had been the jolly man’s faithful helpers for upward of 300 years.
Garg’s video quickly went viral, forcing him to take time off, “effective immediately,” and putting him on numerous naughty lists for life. It didn’t take long for Santa’s address to experience a similar fate. CNN obtained a copy and, that night, Anderson Cooper conducted an EXCLUSIVE interview with fired elf Tinsel.
“I had to inform my wife and 37 kids,” Tinsel told Cooper. “We trusted Santa. Most of my kids were looking forward to the day they could join the workforce. Not anymore.”
“What are you going to do now?” Cooper asked.
“Not sure,” Tinsel replied. “There aren’t a lot of opportunities at the North Pole outside of toy making. But I’m putting my resume on LinkedIn tomorrow.”
The next day, rumors of a “toxic culture” in Santa’s workshop began to surface. One elf promised to produce emails of Santa calling the elves “lazy” and “not worth their weight in candy canes.” Lawyers stood at the ready, forcing Santa to issue a carefully crafted apology, courtesy of his marketing team.
“I failed to show the appropriate amount of appreciation and respect for all you have done,” the apology stated. “I shall try to do better. Until then, Merry Christmas.”
Santa’s offer of two month’s severance pay was generous but most elves reached for comment said they were meeting with financial advisers to discuss their futures.
Kids be warned; the Great Elf Retirement may soon be upon us.
(Greg Schwem is a corporate stand-up comedian and author of two books: “Text Me If You’re Breathing: Observations, Frustrations and Life Lessons From a Low-Tech Dad” and the recently released “The Road To Success Goes Through the Salad Bar: A Pile of BS From a Corporate Comedian,” available at Amazon.com. Visit Greg on the web at www.gregschwem.com.
You’ve enjoyed reading, and laughing at, Greg Schwem’s monthly humor columns in Senior Living News. But did you know Greg is also a nationally touring stand-up comedian? And he loves to make audiences laugh about the joys, and frustrations, of growing older. Watch the clip and, if you’d like Greg to perform at your senior center or senior event, contact him through his website at www.gregschwem.com)

The Oklahoma History Center is pleased to announce the first Kilgen theater organ performance of 2022, featuring widely recognized organist Clark Wilson. He will provide the accompanying music and sound effects to the Harold Lloyd silent movie “Girl Shy.” The performance will be Monday, January 24, from 7 to 8:30 p.m. Tickets are $10 for Oklahoma Historical Society members and $20 for nonmembers, and may be reserved by calling 405-522-0765. Doors will open at 6 p.m. and seating is on a first-come, first-served basis. The Oklahoma History Center is located at 800 Nazih Zuhdi Drive in Oklahoma City.
Silent movie icon Harold Lloyd, the star of “Girl Shy,” was recognized not only for his daredevil talents but also for his trademark horn-rimmed glasses. Of all the silent film comedians, Lloyd was the most profitable. His films out-grossed the movies of both Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton, and he made more films than both of them together.
In his previous performance at the Oklahoma History Center in October 2017, Wilson played two sold-out concerts accompanying the silent movie classic “Nosferatu.” A resident of Ohio, Wilson began his musical training at age nine and has received hundreds of accolades and awards in the course of his career.
The Oklahoma History Center is a division of the Oklahoma Historical Society and is an affiliate of the Smithsonian Institution, National Archives and is an accredited member of the American Alliance of Museums. The mission of the Oklahoma Historical Society is to collect, preserve and share the history and culture of the state of Oklahoma and its people. Founded in 1893 by members of the Territorial Press Association, the OHS maintains museums, historic sites and affiliates across the state. Through its research archives, exhibits, educational programs and publications the OHS chronicles the rich history of Oklahoma. For more information about the OHS, please visit www.okhistory.org.