Resident benefit from pen pal program

by James Coburn, Staff Writer

A tremendous response began last fall when Kellie Prather called for pen pals for the residents of Brookwood Skilled Nursing & Therapy on Facebook. Compassion took the form of an overwhelming bevy of letters and cards that continues being sent to residents.
Everyone has returned to the lost art of writing, Prather said. A whole new door opened both for the residents and the pen pals themselves.
“I didn’t realize it was going to go viral,” said Prather, the activities director for Brookwood Skilled Nursing & Therapy in Oklahoma City. “It went viral — it went all across the United States. It was crazy. I’m telling you, we heard from people all over Oklahoma from towns I had no idea existed.”
Letters came from New York, Illinois, Alabama, Kentucky, Arizona, and Arkansas. At one point 300 letters streamed to the residents all at once. Since the end of September, residents posted cards behind their beds and doors in appreciation. One resident has 50 cards from people writing they want to be a pen pal. The nursing staff is amazed at the difference made in the residents’ lives and take part in helping elders decorate their rooms with cards. Staff and residents spend time talking about the pen pals. Nurses and CNAs read the letters and cards to residents who are challenged with their vision.
“I’ve got a pen pal team that’s called the Pen Pal Club,” said Prather, who has served at Brookwood since March and has been with the parent company Grace Living Centers for 12 years.
Residents involved in the pen pal program respond to the letters. Prather said she has never seen such a transformation in the residents who had been mulling over days of depression and routines. Letters come in for the bedridden residents as well. And Prather and her assistants write letter on behalf of those residents who are unable to do so.
“There’s just been such a glow,” she said of the letters from school children, high schoolers, college students, and others who write. Children are given a chance to learn how to write a letter and hear the experiences from elders.
Another program, this time with Zoom is being initiated.
“It’s awesome. They have so much purpose now. My activity room is almost like a mailroom where there’s a working station, a station where letters need to be mailed off, letters that need to be answered,” Prather said.
It’s heard repeatedly that America is divided over politics, but the pen pal program at Brookwood spells unity among people with different backgrounds with the common concern for the welfare of humanity.
“Isn’t it beautiful?” Prather said. “It makes me happy to know that we’re still together. When we get knocked down, we still help each other get back up. And it also makes me really happy that we’re reaching out for our elderly, because they get to be the forgotten society too often.”
Housewives and husbands have been sending not only photographs of themselves, but photographs of their dogs and the splendor of nature throughout the year.
“Everything is so beautiful, and it makes me so proud to be an American. It makes me so happy to know with all the muddy waters of political life, that we’re able to still pay it forward — our kindness to others.”
Residents who have been in lockdown without the ability to see family members or loved ones during the COVID-19 pandemic have their lives touched by strangers who become pen pal friends with many pointes of discussion to stimulate the day with positive messages, Prather said.
“It makes them feel alive; it makes them feel they have a purpose and makes them feel like they’re loved. And it makes them feel like they can extend themselves out to somebody else as well. So, it’s a win, win, win situation.”
The backdrop of Brookwood encompasses Bridges Health, a separate wing for skilled nursing and rehabilitation. Residents are able to focus on their rehab in an encouraging setting.
“We’ve got some excellent nurses in there, case managers and the therapy department is just wonderful,” Prather said. “And everybody works hard around the clock to make sure these residents are getting the skill nursing they need.”
The long-term facility is separate so not to interrupt ongoing therapy. Vending machine carts come through the rooms on a regular basis since vendors do not enter the building during the pandemic.
“We provide room activities as well as hall activities, and group activities when we’re able to,” she said.
Regulated outdoor visits may be scheduled as well as window visits.
“We’ve been pretty fortunate to keep the wheels rolling.”

By Nick Thomas

Raised in a rough Harlem neighborhood in the 40s and 50s, childhood proved challenging for Hank Garrett.
“We lived in the slums and I’d walk into the kitchen in the mornings to find the floor covered with roaches,” said Garrett from his home in California. “And I still remember waking up one day with a weight on my chest – it was a rat.”
As outlined in his 2020 autobiography, “From Harlem Hoodlum to Hollywood Heavyweight,” other hardships dogged young Hank throughout his troubled teen years.
“I saw fights, stabbings, and shootings – it was a daily situation,” recalled Garrett. But he endured, including a later near fatal car accident, eventually turning his life around to focus on physical fitness and becoming a professional wrestler before turning to acting.
During a brief time on the New York police force, Garratt auditioned for “Car 54, Where Are You?” a new television comedy series that debuted in 1961.
“When I told my commanding officer I had a chance to work on a television series, he looked at me and said, ‘tough decision isn’t it Hank – to become a television star or stay a cop in New York!” Garrett recalled. “‘Car 54’ opened up an acting career for me.”
Series creator Nat Hiken hired Garrett as Officer Ed Nicholson. “So I went from real cop to reel cop!” said Garrett.
The show also starred Fred (later ‘Herman Munster’) Gwynne and Joe E. Ross who were partners in the series.
“Fred was very soft-spoken and truly a gentleman who also wrote and illustrated children’s books,” he said. “He lost a child who drowned and we were shooting when the news came. We were all devastated and shared his pain.”
As for Ross, ‘what a character,” said Garrett with a laugh. “Joe would bring in ladies of the evening and at one point asked if one could be put on the payroll as his acting coach! The producers didn’t go for it. And, of course, he could never remember his lines and that’s why he always went ‘ooh! ooh!’ until the words came to him.”
Numerous other roles came Garrett’s way, often being cast as the bad guy opposite some of Hollywood’s biggest names including Kirk Douglas in “A Lovely Way to Die” (1968) where a stray punch from Douglas gave Garrett a bloody nose. But Hank got even with the A-lister crowd several years later in a memorably violent fight scene in “Three Days of the Condor” breaking Robert Redford’s nose.
Playing the ‘heavy,’ he says, wasn’t a stretch given his tough childhood. Nor did he forget his troubled past and has worked tirelessly for years with prisoners, veterans, and at-risk youth he calls Hankster’s Kids (see www.hankgarrett.biz).
“I hope people will be interested in my book because the proceeds will go to disabled vets and the kids.”
Nick Thomas teaches at Auburn University at Montgomery, Ala., and has written features, columns, and interviews for over 850 newspapers and magazines.

VillagesOKC, an organization of virtual neighbors enabling mature adults to come together to learn, plan, and serve with spirit and dignity, has been selected by the Mather Institute as an honoree of the 2020 Promising Practices Awards. VillagesOKC was recognized for Bringing Brain Health Education to the Community.
Organizations working with older adults from across the country sent in submissions about how they are moving away from conventional practices through new and innovative approaches. Eight organizations with powerful ideas and practices were highlighted for continuing to move the aging services industry forward, despite an abnormally unusual year.
“The Promising Practices Awards honor true leaders in ideation and implementation,” said Cate O’Brien, PhD, assistant vice president and director of the Mather Institute. “We hope these projects will serve as a catalyst for organizations across the country and around the world to spark innovation in their own programs.”
Over the past two years, VillagesOKC has worked closely with MINDRAMP Consulting, a brain health consulting and coaching company, to develop and sustain a Brain Health Initiative, offering MINDRAMP’s unique approach through live presentations, videos, podcasts, web-based classes and workshops. The initiative presents a behavioral and risk-management approach that is specifically tailored for the mature adult population. From 2019-2020, more than 360 older adults attended brain health classes.
From Feb. to June 2021, VillagesOKC will again partner with MINDRAMP to host a weekly Brain Academy. The full semester of engaging, evidence-based sessions will be held via a secure Zoom meeting. The program is $100 for non-members and $50 for members of VillagesOKC. Programming includes:
Level 1. Strong Brains, Sharp Minds: The Art & Science of Aging Intentionally
* Feb. 10 – The Longevity Paradox & The Call to Adventure
* Feb. 24 – May the Force Be with You & Navigational Aids
Level 2. Mapping the Future of Your Mature Mind
* March 10 – Motivation & Assessments
* March 24 – Planning & Skills for Sustainability
Level 3. – Eight Behaviors That Shape Your Brain
* April 14 – Cogwheel Overview, Physical Exercise & Mental Stimulation
* April 28 – Social Engagement, Stress Management & Diet and Nutrition
* May 12 – Sleep, Medical Factors & Environmental Conditions
Practicum 1. Designing Your Brain Health Action Plan
* May 26 – Design Your Personal Action Plan
Practicum 2. Lions & Tigers & Bears: Group Coaching to Overcome Obstacles, Setbacks and Discouragement
* June 9 – Put Your Personal Action Plan into Action
* June 23 –Develop Strategies for Sustainability
“The Brain Health Initiative has expanded the range and depth of our remotely delivered services and has positioned us as a leader in the aging community,” said Marilyn Olson, executive director of VillagesOKC. “As MINDRAMP says, ‘Everyone wants a better brain.’ Offering this program has grown our membership and our place in the greater community.”
To learn more and to register for the Brain Academy, please email [email protected] or call 405.990.6637.

Many people remain reluctant to cover their faces in public. Are masks effective against COVID-19? What’s the status of a vaccine? What’s the science behind it all?
Auburn University at Montgomery (Alabama) biology professor Karen Stine, who specializes in toxicology — the study of poisons — has taught courses in toxicology, pharmacology, cell biology, physiology and environmental science. She offers her thoughts on the ongoing global pandemic, and how the public at large can work to guard against it.
Q. How do vaccines work?
Stine: Vaccines generally contain either an inactivated virus, or isolated bits and pieces of a virus, any of which will hopefully stimulate your immune system to react. This gives you a head start, so if and when you’re actually exposed to the virus your immune system can inactivate it before it makes you sick. But immune responses usually take some time to ramp up to full steam.
Q. Why don’t we have a vaccine for COVID-19 yet?
Stine: Right now, there are multiple organizations working on different viral bits and pieces, hoping to find the right combination that can get the immune system geared up against COVID-19. This takes time, though, as the strategies first have to be tested in the lab, and then in uninfected people to make sure the vaccine is safe and that indicators of effectiveness (usually antibodies) have been produced in the test subjects. Finally, large scale tests for effectiveness (usually involving thousands of people) have to take place. Only then will the vaccine be approved for the general public.many people remain reluctant to cover their faces in public. Are masks effective against COVID-19? What’s the status of a vaccine? What’s the science behind it all?
Auburn University at Montgomery biology professor Karen Stine, who specializes in toxicology — the study of poisons — has taught courses in toxicology, pharmacology, cell biology, physiology and environmental science. She offers her thoughts on the ongoing global pandemic, and how the public at large can work to guard against it.
Q. How do vaccines work?
Stine: Vaccines generally contain either an inactivated virus, or isolated bits and pieces of a virus, any of which will hopefully stimulate your immune system to react. This gives you a head start, so if and when you’re actually exposed to the virus your immune system can inactivate it before it makes you sick. But immune responses usually take some time to ramp up to full steam.
Q. Will a vaccine produce long-lasting immunity against COVID-19?
Stine: No one knows the answer to that yet. For some viruses (the virus that causes measles, for example), one or two doses of a vaccine can produce immunity that appears to last throughout life. For other viruses (influenza viruses, for example), frequent changes in the virus along with gradually declining immunity means that people need to be re-vaccinated annually.
Q. Do masks really help prevent the spread of COVID-19?
Stine: It’s a fair question. Early on, scientists and doctors were not encouraging (and in fact were discouraging) mask use. But as evidence mounted, we learned from it—that’s how science works—and now, the scientific and medical advice has changed. The consensus now is that wearing a mask in public can greatly reduce transmission of the COVID-19 virus.
Q. What has the science shown the biomedical community that makes them support this?
Stine: A few facts have become clear over the last months. People can spread the virus without showing symptoms. We also know the virus is predominantly spread through respiratory droplets and that cloth masks are effective at blocking the release of respiratory droplets by infected people. Some of this evidence is from other viruses but should generalize to COVID-19.
Q. So what conclusion can be drawn from that evidence?
Stine: If everyone wears masks, which block respiratory droplets, transmission of the virus should be greatly reduced.
Q. But does this work in the real world?
Stine: Evidence now indicates that masks, along with other measures, can indeed make a difference. Also, strong anecdotal evidence from countries in both Asia and Europe that have mandated masks in public lends support to the premise that masks can be an effective tool in dramatically reducing coronavirus transmission.
Q. Should everyone wear a mask in public?
Stine: For a very small segment of the population, wearing a mask is not medically recommended. For the rest of us, it is not only safe but is also the most effective thing we can do to make others feel safe, as well. And remember, workers in medical and other fields have always worn them!
Q. But some people feel wearing a mask infringes on their freedom. How do you convince these people to wear masks?
Stine: Perhaps it does a bit. But if mild inconvenience outweighs civic responsibility for you in a time of national crisis — and over 100,000 deaths nationwide certainly qualifies as a crisis — are you comfortable with what that says about your values?
Q. So if you could speak directly to people who are reluctant to wear a mask in public, what would you say to them?
Stine: The bottom line is that strong scientific evidence indicates that if everyone wears a mask in public (and maintains appropriate social distancing), rates of COVID-19 infection will drop, and we can all enjoy much safer freedom of movement as we go about our daily lives. Also, those still isolated at home can more safely emerge and help boost our struggling economy. It’s a win for everyone. So, wear a mask. Please. Lives and livelihoods depend on it.

Experience an unforgettable Valentine date with the Zoo’s socially distant, 21+ event dinner

Your valentine will go wild when you surprise them with a unique dinner experience at the Oklahoma City Zoo and Botanical Garden. The OKC Zoo is hosting two socially distant Valentine’s Dinner events at the Zoo’s Sea Lion Stadium on Saturday, February 13 and Sunday, February 14. Each event will be limited to 122 guests, 21 and older, to ensure adequate social distancing among attendees. Doors open at 6:30 p.m. and the first course is served at 7 p.m.
Participants will enjoy dining under the stars at private, socially distanced tables, arranged throughout the Zoo’s covered Sea Lion Stadium. Heat lamps will be aglow, creating a cozy setting but dress warmly. Each event will feature a three-course dinner provided by Salt and Surrey Catering. Menu options include a strawberry or tossed salad, south of France chicken, grilled pork loin with peach chutney, or portabella mushroom stack and a sweet ending with strawberry or chocolate mousse for dessert. Dinners will feature a full bar with domestic beer, wine, mixed drinks, soda and the event’s specialty cocktail, the Love Potion, available for purchase.
These one-of-kind dinners conclude with a splash as the Zoo’s California sea lions and harbor seals along with their talented caretakers entertain guests with specially-themed presentation, Sealed with a Fish!
“We are excited to expand our adult, 21 and older events and provide Zoo fans with a new, exclusive opportunity to celebrate the Valentine’s holiday in a memorable setting with our beloved wildlife,” said Jenna Dodson, OKC Zoo’s manager of events.
Turn up the romance and complement your lovely dinner with a half-dozen chocolate covered strawberries for an additional $35. Planning to propose this Valentine’s Day? We can help. Purchase a proposal package to present during the Valentine’s Dinner and a Zoo representative will reach out to help you plan the special occasion. For more information, contact [email protected].
Valentine’s Dinner admission is $120 per couple for ZOOfriends members and $140 per couple for nonmembers. During the ticket purchasing process, you will be asked to give your menu choices and a place to request special seating with friends and other couples! Tickets are now available at okczoo.org. Tickets are non-refundable and non-transferable and events will be held rain or shine.
Cupid gives his “seal” of approval with the OKC Zoo’s Valentine’s Dinner! Get your tickets now. The Oklahoma City Zoo is open Thursday through Monday from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. with no public access on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. Advance tickets are required for all guests and ZOOfriends members and can be purchased at www.okczoo.org/tickets. Zoo tickets are limited each day to maintain social distancing among guests. Located at the crossroads of I-44 and I-35, the OKC Zoo is a proud member of the Association of Zoos and Aquariums, the American Alliance of Museums, Oklahoma City’s Adventure District and an Adventure Road partner. Regular admission is $12 for adults and $9 for children ages 3-11 and seniors ages 65 and over. Children two and under are admitted free.
Stay connected with the Zoo on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and TikTok, and by visiting our blog stories. Zoo fans can support the OKC Zoo by becoming a ZOOfriends member. Starting at $45, memberships can be purchased at ZOOfriends.org and provide access to the OKC Zoo for an entire year plus, additional benefits and discounts. To learn more about Zoo happenings, call (405) 424-3344 or visit okczoo.org.

About a year after COVID-19 arrived in the United States, vaccines and treatment innovations are providing light at the end of a long tunnel. OU Health has been a state and national leader in the rigorous research that has made such advances possible.
As an academic healthcare system, OU Health brings many resources to the battle against COVID-19, from laboratory research to clinical trials to public health tools like epidemiology and disease surveillance.
“None of the current vaccines or therapeutics would ever have come to fruition had it not been for scientists who understand the mechanisms of the disease or clinical trials that help us identify better ways to treat patients,” said Jennifer Holter-Chakrabarty, M.D., a hematologist-oncologist at OU Health Stephenson Cancer Center and a campus leader in COVID-19 research.
“This pandemic has served as an example of how quickly you can respond to something like COVID-19 when you already have a model where scientists and physicians are working together,” she added. “Because OU Health has researchers and clinicians across many specialties, we are able to contribute to the discoveries that are being made.”
OU Health is maintaining a biorepository of samples from patients who have been treated for COVID-19, allowing researchers to access those samples as they conduct studies, including one that is testing the ability of a sugar-based molecule to suppress inflammation caused by the virus. Patient samples are also used to study the length and quality of immunity in people who have had COVID-19, compared with immunity provided by the vaccine.
In addition, OU Health is participating in two national registries of COVID-19 patients that allow researchers and clinicians to study treatments and outcomes over time, so they can better understand the virus on a national scale.
“Because this is a new virus never before seen in humans, we have pooled our resources throughout the United States to collect data and find themes,” Holter-Chakrabarty said. “This is not uncommon in medicine. It allows us to identify how certain patient populations are experiencing the virus, in ways that we may not have observed within our individual healthcare institutions.”
A related effort is Stephenson Cancer Center’s participation in a National Cancer Institute clinical trial on the effects of COVID-19 in people being treated for cancer. Of the 793 national locations for the trial, Stephenson Cancer Center is the top enroller of patients.
“When you are diagnosed with cancer, that’s frightening enough, but when you are diagnosed with COVID-19 in addition, we want to help you continue your cancer therapy, treat you for COVID-19, and look at the impact of both of them in this patient population,” Holter-Chakrabarty said. “In this trial, we are collecting data for two years from patients with cancer who’ve had COVID-19. This will allow us to look for themes that emerge on a national scale and determine how we address them.”
Stephenson Cancer Center has initiated a related trial for its own patients undergoing treatment for cancer. Trial participants receive an app on their phones that prompts them regularly to answer questions about any symptoms of COVID-19 they may have. If the app’s algorithm determines they need to be tested for COVID-19, a test will be scheduled. Patients who test positive receive oxygen and pulse monitors that will help their healthcare providers determine if they can stay at home or if they need to be treated at the hospital.
Other studies involve monitoring patients with COVID-19 for thrombotic complications, particularly deep vein thrombosis, pulmonary embolism and stroke. “Because some of these conditions have been associated with COVID-19, our public health researchers are following incidence rates of patients getting a clot in their arm or leg, a clot that moves to their lungs, or having a stroke,” Holter-Chakrabarty said. “Looking at surveillance data from various hospitals will allow us to see if any particular patient populations are more susceptible to these complications.”
Drawing on its wide range of research expertise, OU Health is also conducting studies on topics as varied as improving sterilization techniques for personal protective equipment (PPE); using artificial intelligence and bioinformatics to predict where future COVID-19 outbreaks will occur; and assessing the effect of social isolation during the pandemic on the rate of child maltreatment cases.
In addition, OU Health researchers are participating in the development of potential future vaccines. Because of its longtime relationship with pharmaceutical company Novavax, including ongoing research for vaccines against the Respiratory Syncytial Virus and Ebola Virus, the OU Health Sciences Center is playing a role in the company’s newly developed vaccine for COVID-19.
“We established biomedical research laboratory models to study the vaccine’s ability to produce an immune response,” said virologist James Papin, Ph.D., who is leading the study for the OU Health Sciences Center. “We’re contributing to the data that allowed Novavax to successfully move into Phase 1 and Phase 2 clinical trials and, now, transition to Phase 3 trials. Hopefully, that vaccine will also receive Emergency Use Authorization from the Food and Drug Administration so that it can be added to current vaccination options, increasing the supply of vaccines and effectively increasing vaccination rates.”
OU Health’s researchers and clinicians are also championing the current vaccines on the market, as well as the importance of high vaccination rates in order to stem the rise of the pandemic. Both vaccines use Messenger RNA (mRNA) to prompt the body to build antibodies against COVID-19. Although the vaccines were developed in record-breaking time, the concept of mRNA has been well-studied and used for years in various treatments, including cancer.
“Some people are concerned about the fast track of the vaccines, but they were developed using platforms that have been studied for a long time,” Papin said. “That speaks to the importance of research – investigators had already done years of work showing that mRNA is safe and effective. That’s why the vaccines could be developed so quickly. But we also need to take what we’ve learned and stay diligent. Infectious diseases are one of the greatest threats to humankind. Hopefully, we will turn the corner soon on the current pandemic, but if it happens again, we will have the data and understanding to develop therapeutics even faster than we are doing today.”

Once a week, after she brushes her teeth and gets ready to leave for work at the Oklahoma Medical Research Foundation, Cindy Carter sets a 30-minute timer on her phone.
When Carter’s phone buzzes on her drive, it reminds her of the task that now kicks off her week: submitting a saliva sample for OMRF’s weekly employee Covid-19 testing program.
Before leaving her car, Carter opens her testing kit, which OMRF provides to staff members each week. Inside is a cup, a barcoded sample tube, pipette, alcohol wipe and biohazard bag.
“I don’t want to take off my mask indoors, so before I go in, I spit into the cup, put the sample in the tube and throw the waste away in a biohazard receptacle,” said Carter, a lab manager for OMRF’s Cardiovascular Biology Research Program.
Carter then enters OMRF’s Research Tower, where a human resources staffer sits behind plexiglass, ready to collect samples.
“They scan a barcode on my employee badge, then a barcode on the tube,” explained Carter, who joined OMRF in 1996. “Only human resources has those codes. It couldn’t be easier or faster.”
Each Wednesday morning, having collected samples from the 300-plus employees who are onsite each week, foundation technicians analyze the samples. The OMRF-developed process can run 186 samples at a time and examines each sample five times for accuracy. And because of the “specificity” of the test, it can detect amounts of the virus much smaller than those picked up by many commercially available tests.
The lab relays any positive results by Wednesday evening to OMRF Vice President of Human Resources Courtney Greenwood, who contacts those individuals. “If you haven’t heard from me by Thursday morning, you know you’re in the clear,” said Greenwood.
When it came to adding testing to OMRF’s existing pandemic protocols of mask-wearing and physical distancing, Greenwood said OMRF leadership agreed the test had to be fast, free of nose swabs, and affordable for the foundation.
OMRF scientist Joel Guthridge, Ph.D., and his team answered the call, using existing equipment, technology and staff to develop the saliva-based PCR test at a fraction of commercial costs.
“It’s pennies on the dollar comparatively,” said Guthridge. “Our goal is to help people be healthier. We had to achieve that mission on our own turf so that we could forge ahead with our other research.”
More than 4,000 samples have been run since the testing program started in October. To date, they’ve identified 17 employees who were positive for the virus. In the same timeframe, there have been no instances of onsite spread of the virus among employees.
“This testing program has really proven effective at keeping our workforce safe and avoiding outbreaks,” said Greenwood. “It’s helped us maintain our laboratory operations, and we plan to continue the program as long as the virus remains a threat in the community.”
For Carter, OMRF’s weekly testing program, along with a host of other onsite safety protocols, have provided comfort during unsettling times.
I’ve felt really good about coming into work during even the worst stretches of the pandemic,” said Carter. “Having worked here as long as I have, I’m not surprised they went above and beyond to protect us.”

Steven Howell, the Pharmacy Manager at INTEGRIS Baptist Medical Center, receives a token of appreciation from Alex Azar the former Secretary of the United States Department of Health and Human Services.
Howell was given this medallion for his role in discovering extra doses of the Pfizer vaccine. In early shipments of the vaccine, the FDA had originally approved the use of five doses per vial. But when examining the doses sent to INTEGRIS Health, Howell discovered that you could actually get six doses from each vial. He quickly informed his brother-in-law, U.S. Marine Colonel Gregory McCarthy, who happens to be on the White House Coronavirus Task Force. McCarthy relayed the information up the chain of command and after further review, the FDA granted permission for hospitals around the country to use the sixth dose. “In essence, we received 20-percent more doses than we originally thought,” said Howell. “We were able to vaccinate that many more people and none of the vaccine went to waste.”
Howell may downplay his involvement in this potentially life-saving discovery, but he fully understands the importance of expanding the use of such a scarce commodity. “It’s exciting to be a part of something so monumental,” admits Howell.
We applaud you, Steven, for your daily contributions to INTEGRIS Health and the citizens of Oklahoma, and we commend you for your service to the entire country.

by Greg Schwem

The hardware store employee approached, noting the confusion on my face. It’s a look that just happens naturally the moment I enter any store that smells of lumber.
“What can I help you find today?” he said.
“The ‘Diet Coke’ button,” I said.
“Excuse me?”
I repeated my request, glancing at my watch while doing so. Whenever I’m in a hardware store, my goal is to be out in less than five minutes. I never do this when I’m in, say, an electronics store. Then again, I enjoy being around flat screen televisions. Drill bits and tile grout, not so much.
“We sell Diet Coke at the registers,” the employee said. “But that’s it. Are you referring to something you wear on your lapel?”
“No, I want the button that sits on your desk. You press it and somebody walks in with a Diet Coke,” I said. “I read Donald Trump had one installed on the Oval Office desk, but President Biden got rid of it when he was sworn in. And it didn’t even require an executive order.”
“We don’t sell a Diet Coke button,” the relieved employee said. “Have you tried contacting Coca-Cola? Maybe they have one.”
“I sent an email,” I said. “Still waiting for a response. Look, it doesn’t have to be Diet Coke, specifically. Do you sell other buttons for a home office that produce objects instantly when pressed? What about a ‘potato chips’ button? A ‘warm pair of socks’ button? A ‘Bud Light’ button?”
“You want a Bud Light button in your office?” the employee said.
“I’d program it so it only worked after 5:30 p.m.,” I replied.
“Sir, we have a full line of doorbells in aisle 15. Wouldn’t something like that work?” asked the employee, now glancing at HIS watch.
“I suppose so,” I said.
“Great. Happy to be of service,” the employee said. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m needed in plumbing.”
Trudging to the other side of the store, I found an “entry alert kit” featuring a device that promised to emit a buzzing sound. I brought it home, secured it near my keyboard and pressed the button. My dog, not recognizing this new sound, freaked out, nonetheless.
“Why is she barking?” my wife yelled from upstairs.
“She’ll be fine,” I yelled back. “She just needs to get used to the new sound.”
“What new sound?” said my wife, now standing at the entrance to my office.
“This one,” I said, pressing the button again. The dog responded accordingly.
“Why are you buzzing?” she asked, after consoling our now breathless pooch.
“It’s my Diet Coke buzzer,” I said. “Like the one President Trump used. You’re familiar with it?”
“Familiar enough to know that I’m not getting you a Diet Coke every time you press that thing,” she said. “Did you really think that was going to happen?”
“It doesn’t have to be you,” I said. “It could be anyone who happens to hear it. What about our daughters? They’ve been spending a lot of time in the house since COVID-19. They can get it.”
“When did everybody in this house suddenly become your servants?” she said.
“So, I should return the buzzer?”
“No, I think I’ll get one. Maybe I’ll get a few, all with different sounds. One is the signal that I’m not cooking dinner tonight, another is that the faucet is still dripping — I’ll return it when you finally fix it — another for…”
“OK, I get it. But can you just bring me a Diet Coke one time? Just so I can experience what might have been?”
Before she could answer, I pressed the button.
My wife exited the room, returning with my favorite beverage.
For a brief moment, I felt very presidential.
(Greg Schwem is a corporate stand-up comedian and author of two books: “Text Me If You’re Breathing: Observations, Frustrations and Life Lessons From a Low-Tech Dad” and the recently released “The Road To Success Goes Through the Salad Bar: A Pile of BS From a Corporate Comedian,” available at Amazon.com. Visit Greg on the web at www.gregschwem.com.
You’ve enjoyed reading, and laughing at, Greg Schwem’s monthly humor columns in Senior Living News. But did you know Greg is also a nationally touring stand-up comedian? And he loves to make audiences laugh about the joys, and frustrations, of growing older. Watch the clip and, if you’d like Greg to perform at your senior center or senior event, contact him through his website at www.gregschwem.com)