Sunday, November 23, 2025

TRAVEL / ENTERTAINMENT: A Celebrity Equinox Cruise: Part Two

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Photography and Text by Terry “Travels with Terry” Zinn t4z@aol.com

You may think it odd that I would be telling you about the virtues and short falls of a cruise line, in an atmosphere of distrust and downright boycott of any cruise at this time of health issues. And I agree. However in recent memory Celebrity Cruises has not had any mass ship borne infection with its passengers as had other lines in the news.. Maybe due to luck, maybe due to good hygiene, as on my January cruise there was hand sanitizer at every turn of the corner and at every group gathering.
Lets face it: travel comes with risks. In most cases the risk is out weighted by the rewards of comforting destinations, emotional and intellectual satisfaction, and identifying with world wide humanity. The risk was there when I took my first international trip to Egypt and Greece in the early 1980s; as we traveled between the assassination of middle east leaders. Now the Cruise lines are suspended and booking now for the future of 6 to 9 months ahead is not available or even thinkable. We were so glad we had our Egypt adventure, as I’m sure you have had looking back on your completed trips.
The Celebrity Equinox has many extras that secured my vote and my deposit for a cruise in January, booked in September. In retrospect there were so many more pluses than minus to the cruise. It was a joy to board the ship. There was lots of walking from curbside to security, check in and off to the cabin which was available on time, not always available on other cruise lines. And in short time, the luggage arrived, there was ice, the pre-ordered flowers were delivered as was the shower bench and we were introduced to our cabin steward, Revlon, who throughout the cruise was quite efficient.
A short coming was the mini non insulated ice bucket. While there are ample drink stations on many floors, none on mine, as it’s nice to take a soft drink from the nicely stocked mini fridge ($3/soft drink) for a quick pick me up or beverage enjoying the view from your own veranda. Yes a small inconvenience, but hey, it’s your cruise and should be without bumps that could be corrected.
All of my prepaid tours, events and dining extras were executed without exception, and it was easier than I thought, to add more once boarded. I have been on cruises where if you did not book your most wanted extras, there were sold out upon boarding, not so with Celebrity.
The tours offered on line before the cruise were minimal, but plentiful in the brochure on board. We had a most delightful three stop food and beverage tasting in St. Thomas. There was a trek over uneven streets to arrive at the 3 locales, but once there each were atmospherically and deliciously different. One was a tasting of local foods in an historic family owned and operated restaurant. The second was beverage making in a quaint bar, and the third a make shift banana fosters show and tasting. Each locale was near, but off the beaten track, and if you didn’t know it was there, you could miss it, which made the tour mysterious and inviting. It was a pleasant tour, and only disappointing in that on that tour, was that we were not driven to the photo sight so often seen in brochure that looked down upon the white sand St. Thomas crescent beach.
I had heard from other cruise veterans that Santa Domingo was a beautiful tropical place, so I was looking forward to my tour. There were several choices but most sounded too strenuous for this cane carrying senior, so I picked one that was on a small bus to three spots of interest. I just knew one would be a local beach from a resort or such, and I could just take in the lux surroundings with a tropical view with beverage in hand. As the saying goes,”Expectations are the road to disappointment.”
I was not happy with the non destination our small bus of cruisers were taken. One was a long drive to a large parking lot where off in the distance a sunken dilapidated wooden pier could be seen. The history, if there was some, was lost on me. Next was a park with a small bandstand where costumed dancers were waiting for the recorded music to start. Most got off the bus to see this local amateur folkloric dance-dozen swooshed their skirts and stomped there feet. Next was a primitive open air eating place, where the driver had his dinner of rice and such. The rest of us, could buy bottle coca cola and such and wondered what was next on this tour. It was a stop at a gentrified and not yet completed colorfully painted strip mail of sorts, where over priced souvenirs could be purchased before returning to the ship. Needless to say this was no beautiful, tropical enchanting tour. I’m sure other tours which included hikes and snorkeling were well received. I gave this one a 1 on a scale of 10 as high, on the subsequent emailed evaluation.
The Equinox has many venues for entertainment. The top deck boasts a real live green grass lawn where bowling can be enjoyed or sitting in chairs and watch an outdoor movie after sunset. I preferred the more structured performance by the exceptional talent displayed at three different jute box musical in the main theater. There really were no bad seats and if you got there early you can order soft drinks and the like. The production shows usually had well known songs sung live with an array of costumes and a thin story line. I was not always thrilled with the content but the execution ans energy of the performances were without equal.
Besides memories of near gourmet meals in the premium based specialty restaurants, the Hot Art Glass blowing experience was fun and offered a real home grown – your breath – take away souvenir. I had done this on a limited basis before, but there is nothing like putting your lips on the end of blow pipe where on the other end was a glob of glass at 2,000 degrees. Scheduling this event can be tricky as the on line booking App does not register your exact reservation time, and you must sign up for a time in person. This was one of their prepaid options I made at home before the cruise.
You may think I was hard on my Equinox evaluations, but as stated before, I got no compensation from the cruise line and my honest, picky evaluation, might prepare you in your booking. I heartily endorse Celebrity Equinox, as the highest compliment, is that I look forward to booking again.
Celebrity offers at; (www.celebritycruises.com) and 1-888-751-7804)

 

SAVVY SENIOR: Beware of Coronavirus Scams

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Dear Savvy Senior, Amid all the troubling coronavirus news, I’ve also read that there are various coronavirus scams going around right now taking advantage of innocent people who are afraid of getting sick or are worried about those that have. What can you tell me about coronavirus scams and what can I do to protect myself? Scared Senior

Dear Scared,
Unfortunately, coronavirus scams are spreading nearly as fast as the virus itself, and seniors are often the most vulnerable.
These con artists are setting up websites to sell bogus products, and using spoofed phone calls, emails, texts, and social media posts as a ruse to take your money and get your personal information.
The emails and posts may be promoting awareness and prevention tips, and fake information about cases in your community. They also may be asking you to donate to victims, offering advice on unproven treatments, or contain malicious email attachments.
Here are some tips to help you keep the scammers at bay.
Click carefully: Don’t click on coronavirus-related links from sources you don’t know in an email or text message. The same goes for unfamiliar websites. When you click on an email or download a file, you could get a program on your computer that could either use your computer’s internet connection to spread malware or dig into your personal files looking for passwords and other information.
Ignore bogus product offers: Ignore online offers for coronavirus vaccinations or miracle cures. There are currently no vaccines, pills, potions, lotions, lozenges, or other prescription or over-the-counter products available to treat or cure coronavirus online or in stores. If you see or receive ads touting prevention, treatment, or cure claims for the coronavirus, ignore them because they’re not legitimate.
Beware of CDC spoofing: Be wary of emails, text messages or phone calls claiming to come from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and/or the World Health Organization (WHO). These scams could take several forms – such as fake health agency warnings about infections in your local area, vaccine and treatment offers, medical test results, health insurance cancellation, alerts about critical supply shortages, and more.
For the most up-to-date information about the coronavirus, visit CDC.gov/covid19.
Beware of fundraising scams: Be wary of emails or phone calls asking you to donate to a charity or crowdfunding campaign for coronavirus victims or for disease research. To verify a charity’s legitimacy use CharityNavigator.org. But, if you’re asked for donations in cash, by prepaid credit card or gift card, or by wiring money, don’t do it because it’s probably a scam.
Beware of stock scams: The U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) is warning people about phone calls and online promotions, including on social media, touting stocks of companies with products that supposedly can prevent, detect or cure coronavirus. Buy those stocks now, they say, and they will soar in price.
But the con artists have already bought the stocks, which typically sell for a dollar or less. As the hype grows and the stock price increases, the con men dump the stock, saddling other investors with big losses. It’s a classic penny-stock fraud called “pump and dump.” Making matters worse: you may not be able to sell your shares if trading is suspended.
When investing in any company, including companies that claim to focus on coronavirus-related products and services, carefully research the investment and keep in mind that investment scam artists often exploit the latest crisis to line their own pockets.

Send your senior questions to: Savvy Senior, P.O. Box 5443, Norman, OK 73070, or visit SavvySenior.org. Jim Miller is a contributor to the NBC Today show and author of “The Savvy Senior” book.

Emily’s Creations brings joy

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Emily Spitler is an award-winning artists who creates beautiful stained glass art from her home.

story and photo by Bobby Anderson, Staff Writer

It’s been two years now since Emily Spitler decided to channel her creative energy into stained glass.
And the world is a better place for it.
“I really enjoy working on the mosaics as it is very rewarding seeing the finished product and knowing that it was something I created,” Spitler said. “It also gives me tremendous satisfaction when someone sees one of my pieces, their eyes light up and they point to it and say ‘I want that one’ with a huge smile on their face.”
She originally set out to do it as a hobby but as she got more and more involved with it, decided to put some things up for sale. Her daughter, Stacey, created a Facebook page for her to share her art work and then it just blossomed from there.
Besides having her online store at www.emilyscreations.net, she has also had a booth at last fall’s Affair of the Heart and the Santa Market. She is hoping to have a booth later this year at a few more shows.
Spitler used to own a knitting and craft store in Prague originally called The Knitting Needle then once she added more gift items the location changed and the name was changed to Emily’s Gift World.
She’s always been involved in arts and crafts. First there was ceramics, then of course knitting, crocheting and all kinds of needlework. She started sewing during grade school and was involved in 4-H.
She still plants a garden each year and, of course, she starts the seeds from scratch and even mixes up her own soil. Her tomato and okra plants have been known to reach over 8’ tall. She enjoys cooking and collecting recipes to try. She even makes her own bread (including hamburger buns), pickles and tomato sauce!
She really enjoys doing the mosaic art because of the mystery of how each design will turn out. She starts by cutting the glass sheets, then laying it out on a pattern. The glass has to be ground on the grinding wheel to get the desired shape and to smooth out the sharp edges. Each piece of glass is glued down into the design.
She then mixes up the grout and applies it to the entire piece. After approximately 15-20 minutes, the grout is cleaned off. Many times, the grout has to be cleaned off with a pick to get between the tiles/glass.
Just by changing the color of the grout, you can get a completely different look.
On the large mural 3’x6’ mural called “The Wave”, it took 4 months to complete. Many hours were spent grinding each piece of glass and mirror. She enlisted the help of both her daughter and husband to assist.
Depending upon the complexity of the piece it can take up to 3 weeks or longer to complete. She has used other mediums in her pieces including sand, shells, rocks, mirrors, beads, tiles and broken dishes
Her artwork brings out the best not only in herself but others.
Daughter Stacey recalls a funny story at her aunt’s 95th birthday celebration.
“We put her mosaic cross into a Harry and David box so she thought she was getting a box of clementines when she unwrapped the gift,” Stacey remembers. “Before she unwrapped the gift she was so happy and excited to get the box. When she unwrapped it and saw the Harry and David box, the expression on her face was priceless! She was so disappointed and at a loss for words. I actually thought she was going to start crying.”
“Then she went ahead and opened the box to unveil the mosaic cross and a big smile appeared. She said that she was so happy to get the cross instead of the clementines!”
Spitler’s work has been honored, most recently winning 1st and 3rd place at the 2019 Oklahoma State Fair.
You can also connect with her on Facebook at Emily’s Creations.

www.LegendSeniorLiving.com

If you could get away to anywhere in the world for a Spring Break where would it be? NRHS Auxiliary – Tealridge Retirement Community

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Hawaii and just enjoy the atmosphere. Janice Hanna

I was going to say Hawaii, too. Just lay on a beach and stare at the sky. Melanie Wright

Probably Ireland because I’ve never been. Janet Gatlin

The Carolina Coast. Lots of beach and lots of food. Connie Bailey

 

StacyCares Oklahoma, LLC – Advocacy, Accompaniment, and Visitation Services

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Stacy Hansen, BCPA started StacyCares Oklahoma, a healthcare consulting company offering advocacy, appointment accompaniment and visitation services, helping clients communicate with their healthcare providers.

by Vickie Jenkins, Staff Writer

What is StacyCares Oklahoma? StacyCares Oklahoma is a healthcare consulting company offering healthcare advocacy, appointment accompaniment, and visitation services. They provide support and information to clients, caregivers and families to help them navigate care and make informed healthcare decisions.
StacyCares Oklahoma was started by Stacy Hansen, a Board-Certified Patient Advocate with more than ten years of advocacy experience, an MBA in healthcare administration, a Master’s degree in professional writing and communication, and a Bachelor’s degree in biology.
What is a Board Certified Patient Advocate (BCPA)? An advocate is someone who supports or helps the cause of another. The BCPA designation acknowledges Board Certified Patient Advocate professionals who have demonstrated their experience and proficiency in the field of patient advocacy by passing a formal examination. The BCPA credential is built on ethical standards, professional competencies and best practices for professionals who work in patient advocacy and have taken the steps necessary to become certified.
“The most important quality in my business is respecting patient autonomy,” Stacy said. “What I want to emphasize is to let our clients know that they have a voice in their healthcare, and I can help them use it. They also don’t have to be alone. They don’t have to go to their doctor’s appointments, procedures or be in the hospital alone. If they are in a facility, we can visit and check on them. I want seniors in facilities to have the best quality of life they can,” she added.
“The business’s set of personalized services and operating as a private advocate makes StacyCares Oklahoma unusual and unique in Oklahoma. This is what sets us apart from hospital advocates. I work for my clients, representing them and their needs and their interests. As part of our ethic, we honor our clients’ personal values, their right to be involved in their healthcare, and to engage in two-way communication with their providers. We are seeking to empower people to feel in control of their healthcare, to have the best quality of life, and to take some stress out of their healthcare experience she commented.
Stacy explained that some clients struggle with managing their healthcare, or the healthcare of a loved one. “Some clients get stressed by appointments or have trouble talking to or understanding their healthcare providers, or they just want someone to help coordinate their care,” Stacy said. “Effective communication is vital in healthcare. This is why we join clients at medical appointments and procedures—to be supportive, to assist discussions with healthcare providers, and to help them understand diagnoses, treatment plans and instructions. If the client doesn’t have family or friends available to go with them, we go to be by their side. Sometimes, patients aren’t up to advocating for themselves when they are not feeling well. StacyCares Oklahoma can help the client by asking questions to their doctor relaying their concerns, and helping them understand treatment recommendations and plans. We can make those follow up calls for them to ask questions. We can also help coordinate their care to help them understand what each provider is doing. This helps them feel more at east and in control of their healthcare.”
“There are some families that live far away from their loved ones in Oklahoma. We offer personalized social and well-being visits to residents in long-term care facilities to help alleviate loneliness and put distant families at ease. We offer another set of eyes, devoted to checking on their loved ones well-being. Our social and wellness visits are tailored to our client’s needs and include assisting communication with friends and family. We want to help maximize the quality of life,” Stacy said.
Sometimes, potential clients ask the question, why do I need a private advocate? The healthcare system can be challenging and overwhelming, and sometimes scary and confusing. It can help to have an experienced advocate focused on their needs, providing additional information about what their healthcare provider or insurance company says, and helping them and communicate questions and decisions.

“I firmly believe that effective communication in healthcare settings is vital to patient safety and optimal care outcomes,” Stacy said. “That is why I started this company.”

If you have any questions, feel free to call 1-405-802-3730 or email info@StacyCaresOK.com or check out www.StacyCaresOK.com or follow them on Facebook.

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Carl Reiner says keeping busy keeps him going

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Carl-Reiner with Betty-White who appear in If You’re Not in the Obit Eat Breakfast. Courtesy of HBO

by Nick Thomas

Turning 97 in March, Carl Reiner shows no sign of slowing down. “I wake up with ideas!” the veteran actor, writer, director and producer says from Los Angeles says.
One of those ideas was to colorize episodes of his crown television jewel, “The Dick Van Dyke Show.” Two color episodes were produced in 2017 and last year Reiner selected a couple more favorites, with plots loosely based on his family’s experience, which aired on CBS over the holiday season.
“I’ve done a lot in my life but have to say that show is what I’m most proud of,” Reiner says. “We couldn’t afford to shoot it originally in color and make a profit, but I’m so pleased with the colorized episodes – they look fantastic.”
In “Where Did I Come From?” young Richie (Larry Matthews) questions his parents about his birth, much like Reiner’s own children did, while in “Never Bathe on Saturday,” Laura (Mary Tyler Moore) gets stuck in a hotel bathtub, ruining a vacation for hubby Rob (Dick Van Dyke).
“I wrote that based on the time my wife and I were away, and she noticed the faucet dripping while taking a bath and wanted to get a plumber,” Reiner recalls.
Reiner says it was important to produce colorized versions close to the originals.
“Luckily some enterprising photographers were on hand during the original filming and took color photos of the set and actors,” he notes. “So some colors are very accurate, like the rooms. Colorization has come a long way and I wish we could do all 158 episodes, but it’s very expensive.”
Reiner’s 2017 HBO documentary “If You’re Not in the Obit, Eat Breakfast,” in which he narrates a series of interviews with active nonagenarians, was also recently released on DVD.
“In my opening section, I’m reading the newspaper obituary section and remark if I’m not in it, I’ll have breakfast,” he says. “They thought that would make a good title.”
The documentary features 90-plus-year-old guests still active in areas such as sports, fashion, music, comedy and acting such as Dick Van Dyke, Kirk Douglas and Reiner’s longtime cohort in comedy, Mel Brooks. “Truly a collection of remarkable people,” Reiner says.
But of all the people Reiner has known, he has the highest praise for his late wife, Estelle, to whom he was married for 65 years.
“While you do live in your memories as you get older and especially after losing a spouse, if you’ve had a good marriage it sustains you,” he says. “She was perhaps the most extraordinary woman I ever met and could do everything better than anyone else. I think about her every night I go to bed, so she’s still alive in me, no question.”
A prominent comedy writer throughout his career, Reiner also continues to work on new book projects this year.
“If you have something to do every day, you’ll hang around,” he says.

OMRF donates 25,000 gloves to Integris, joins testing effort

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Joel Guthridge, Oklahoma Medical Research Foundation.
Lijun Xia, M.D., Ph.D., and Hendra Setiadi, Ph.D., with the laboratory gloves the Oklahoma Medical Research Foundation donated to Integris Baptist Medical Center for use during the COVID-19 coronavirus pandemic. March 2020

 

The Oklahoma Medical Research Foundation has donated more than 25,000 protective gloves to the Integris Baptist Medical Center. The donation came after Integris officials put out a call for personal protective equipment, or PPE.
Across the state and nation, shortages of PPE have heightened concerns that first responders and medical workers might be at higher risk of contracting the COVID-19 coronavirus and passing it on to patients.
OMRF has suspended most biomedical research during the pandemic. So, researchers joined together to gather spare laboratory supplies, which also included masks and other PPE desperately needed in hospitals, clinics and testing facilities.
“Our scientists reacted immediately to the request,” said OMRF’s Lijun Xia, M.D., Ph.D., who helped spearhead the effort.
“As a medical scientist, I knew that it was essential to get Integris staff sufficiently equipped so they could help patients in Oklahoma,” said Xia. “When I heard their supplies were running low, I was really concerned and wanted to contribute as quickly and as much as possible.”
OMRF healthcare providers continue to treat patients in the foundation’s rheumatology and multiple sclerosis centers. “So, it’s vital that we still retain adequate supplies to protect caregivers and patients when they visit,” said OMRF President Stephen Prescott, M.D. “But this is a crisis, and if we can help other medical professionals who are risking their lives by sharing part of our inventory, we will.”
In addition to the PPE donation, OMRF scientists are teaming with the University of Oklahoma Health Sciences Center in an emergency effort to process COVID-19 tests. Led by Joel Guthridge, Ph.D., a team of OMRF scientists is temporarily relocating to OU Medicine, where they will operate a high-speed polymerase chain reaction system OMRF has moved there temporarily, as well as a new robot OMRF has purchased to help accelerate testing.
The goal of the effort is to increase the state’s testing capacity. When fully operational, OMRF and OUHSC scientists hope the facility will be able to process up to several thousand tests a day.
“Experts say Oklahoma’s numbers will increase dramatically when more testing becomes available,” said Prescott, a physician and medical researcher. “The sooner we can get our arms around the true magnitude of this health crisis, the better we’ll be able to fight it.”
Testing will also help those worrying about whether they’ve contracted COVID-19. “Knowing whether you have the virus could improve your chances of recovery,” said Prescott, “and aggressive quarantine measures can save others from contracting it.”

4 Things to Know about Coronavirus (COVID -19)

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This undated photo provided by U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention shows CDC’s laboratory test kit for the new coronavirus. (CDC via AP)

There has been a lot of information out about COVID-19 novel coronavirus, and it’s important to decipher through to find accurate information that can help you and your family be as safe as possible. Here are four things you need to know about COVID-19 from experts at INTEGRIS Health.
1. Practice the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) COVID-19 Safe Guidelines
* Hand Hygiene. Protect yourself by frequently washing your hands with soap and warm water for at least 20 seconds. If soap and water are not available, then use a 60% alcohol-based hand sanitizer. Make sure that hand sanitizer is not replacing thorough handwashing if available.
* Face. Also avoid touching your eyes, mouth and face as much as possible. If you cough or sneeze, don’t do so into your hands. Cough and sneeze into your elbow or upper sleeve.
* Social Distancing. Stay away from public gatherings of more than 10 people. Put a six-foot distance between yourself and other people where possible. If you can, work from home and limit time spent in crowded public spaces.
2. Signs and Symptoms of COVID-19
* Fever, cough, muscle aches and shortness of breath.
* A runny nose or a sore throat, these are not common symptoms of the COVID-19.
3. How, When and Where to Get Care for COVID-19
Most people with COVID-19 will not need to come to a doctor office, ER or hospital for care.
The following are places you can get care if you have COVID-19 symptoms:
* At Home Care. There is no treatment to cure COVID-19 at this time. Staying home and letting the illness run its course is what most people will need to do.
* Call Ahead or Use TeleHealth. To limit exposure to others, if you feel you need additional help beyond your home care, please seek care in the following ways:
– E-visits with your provider – visit www.INTEGRISandMe.com
– INTEGRIS Virtual Visits. Using INTEGRIS Virtual Visits allows clinical experts to conduct an initial screening for COVID-19.
You can download the app for iPhone and Android, or use on your computer at www.integrisvirtualvisit.com
Emergency Room (ER). Only come to the ER for COVID-19 if you are experiencing difficulty breathing or shortness of breath, persistent pain or pressure in the chest, new confusion or inability to arouse and bluish lips or face.
4. The Need for Testing
* World-wide Shortages. COVID-19 testing kits and personal protective equipment (mask, gowns, etc.) are in short supply due to the worldwide demand.
* Testing appropriateness. The treatment for COVID-19 is not different for confirmed versus suspected COVID-19 patients. Because of the short supply, basic COVID-19 symptoms will not be tested.
* Testing Centers. As COVID-19 testing kits and personal protective equipment become more available, a drive through testing center will be created.

Commissioner Glen Mulready Comments on the Passing of Sen. Tom Coburn

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Commissioner Mulready released the following statement on the passing of former U.S. Senator Tom Coburn:
“Tom Coburn was a friend, statesman and supporter of mine who will be greatly missed. Dr. Coburn was a fierce public policy leader and someone who wouldn’t shy away from working across the aisle to solve our state and national issues. When I was campaigning for Insurance Commissioner, I called Dr. Coburn and asked him to meet with me to discuss some healthcare and health insurance issues. He agreed to meet and graciously sat with me in his home for over an hour.”
“He also stepped out and provided support to me during my 2012 re-election campaign. He acknowledged and supported my efforts to address the challenges with our state’s healthcare and health insurance policies at a time when many of his supporters would not.”
“He will be greatly missed. Sally and I extend our heartfelt condolences and prayers to his family during this difficult time.”

www.caresuitesokc.com

Is a virtual joke still a funny joke?

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Greg Schwem is a corporate stand-up comedian and author.

by Greg Schwem

For 30 years I’ve made my living as a standup comedian. I’ve stood on iconic stages including the Grand Ole Opry and the Chicago Theatre. I’ve gazed out at crowds as large as 10,000 and as small as six. We won’t talk about the six.
My moods following my performances have run the gamut from elation to despair. From feeling like I’m the first person to set foot on an uncharted planet to wanting to jump into a recently dug grave and instructing the backhoe operator to “just bury me now.”
The one commonality to all these shows was a live audience. The coronavirus has, for the immediate future, taken away my ability to perform.
Or has it?
Enter the concept of virtual entertainment, an idea that has never really taken off considering that, despite the available technology, most people ultimately think it’s weird to watch a hologram of Prince or another deceased rock star “playing” live on stage. The connection a performer feels to an audience works in reverse too; the audience must feel that same connection.
So when a show I was scheduled to perform for 1,200 members of the dairy industry in Madison, Wisconsin, joined the scrap heap of cancellations on my calendar, I was not hesitant, rather overjoyed, when the organizers said they wanted to me to perform virtually.
Of course, that would mean performing standup comedy to a camera, without a crowd. The audience, I was told, would watch from bedrooms, hotel rooms and home offices, surrounded, most likely, by nobody.
Not exactly the ideal audience for a comedian. Still, the show must go on.
At 8 p.m., I entered a conference room that looked as if preparations were in place for some sort of invasion. A half-eaten takeout pizza sat on a round table big enough to seat 10. Snacks, drinks and sandwiches purchased from an attached hotel represented lunch for the staff tasked with running the virtual operation. Dinner too.
A few IT personnel stared intently at laptops as another virtual presenter, speaking from God only knows where, gave a speech entitled “Practical Proven Systems for More Profitable Innovation.” I heard his voice and saw the PowerPoint slides he had assembled for his talk, but I didn’t see him.
Instead I saw an empty stage and a single camera pointed at it.
“That’s where you’ll be,” the conference organizer told me.
When the previous speaker had concluded, another member of the organizational team grabbed a mic and said, “We have some questions.” These questions, I assume, were submitted by attendees watching virtually. Of the 10 people in the conference room, nobody raised a hand.
The unseen presenter answered several questions and then it was time for me. Like a normal show, a tech clipped a lavalier microphone to my shirt; like a normal show I stood slightly offstage awaiting my introduction. And, like a normal show, I bounded onstage when I heard my name.
The next 45 minutes were left to my imagination.
The conference room participants — seven staff members and three techs — did their best to laugh at my jokes, which, naturally, included a few references to the massive elephant in the room.
“I’m staying in a very nice hotel here in Madison,” I said. “I only live two hours from here, so I don’t really need a hotel. But I was out of toilet paper and the hotel had some.”
Strangely, the longer I performed, the more confident I was that somebody was laughing somewhere. A few laughs from the 10 people in the room were all I needed to keep going. Yes, there were some uncomfortable moments, but it’s also uncomfortable doing standup at a party in the hull of a Catamaran. OK, I brought up the audience of six. Sorry.
I hope there will be no more virtual shows in my career. I hope to be back on stage soon, where I can see and converse with real audience members.
But COVID-19 has taught me one thing: Laughter cannot be quarantined.
(Greg Schwem is a corporate stand-up comedian and author of two books: “Text Me If You’re Breathing: Observations, Frustrations and Life Lessons From a Low-Tech Dad” and the recently released “The Road To Success Goes Through the Salad Bar: A Pile of BS From a Corporate Comedian,” available at Amazon.com. Visit Greg on the web at www.gregschwem.com.)
You’ve enjoyed reading, and laughing at, Greg Schwem’s monthly humor columns in Senior Living News. But did you know Greg is also a nationally touring stand-up comedian? And he loves to make audiences laugh about the joys, and frustrations, of growing older. Watch the clip and, if you’d like Greg to perform at your senior center or senior event, contact him through his website at www.gregschwem.com)

 

aefuneral.com

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