Stride Bank has managed to secure over 400 SBA PPP loans and saved an estimated 6,407 jobs

The staff at Stride Bank has been working around the clock for weeks now to ensure local businesses are approved for the Small Business Administration’s Payroll Protection
Program loans. The funds may have run out for the initial phase of the program, but Stride isn’t slowing down their efforts any time soon.
As the federal government works to provide a second wave of SBA PPP funding, Stride Bank is putting in the extra effort to ensure anyone left out of phase one funding will find relief with phase two.
So far, throughout this process, Stride Bank has managed to secure over 400 SBA PPP loans, provided over $59 million in potentially forgivable funds and saved an estimated 6,407 jobs.
When asked how Stride has managed to secure so much funding and ensure the approval of so many loans, Kevin Guarnera, the leader of Stride Bank’s dedicated SBA team, responded, “We’ve been a part of our community for over 100 years. We’re not about to quit on anyone now. Local small businesses are in trouble, and they’ve been thrown a lifeline. It’s our job to make sure as many small businesses as possible secure that lifeline and find safety.”
Guarnera and his team have been sought out by others in the industry as the experts on getting these loans approved quickly and efficiently. By understanding the guidelines inside and out and working overtime to get applications processed, the team at Stride has helped numerous local businesses find that lifeline.
“When you’re a part of a community, you protect it and everyone in it. We won’t stop until this is over,” added Guarnera.
Founded in 1913, Stride Bank is an Oklahoma-based financial institution that holds over $800 million in assets.
Offering a full range of financial services such as consumer and commercial banking, mortgage, wealth management, and treasury management, we have also developed and currently manage highly specialized payment solutions for several national fintech companies. While we are unwavering in our pursuit to continue innovating and offering new financial solutions, we will always remain loyal to our community banking roots in Oklahoma. We have branches throughout Oklahoma in Enid, Tulsa, Oklahoma City, Bartlesville, Blackwell, Woodward, and Mooreland. Member FDIC. Equal Housing Lender. Learn more at www.stridebank.com.
Debbie Blacklock is the Senior Vice President and Manager of the Stride Bank Healthcare Division. Founded in 1913, Stride Bank is a full-service, Oklahoma-owned-and-operated financial institution with offices in Oklahoma City, Tulsa, Bartlesville, Enid, Woodward, Mooreland, and Blackwell. As an industry leader throughout the U.S. in real-time, next-generation payments, Stride Bank provides mobile banking and a full spectrum of Treasury Management Services. The Stride Bank Healthcare Division provides loans and other financial solutions for senior housing, long-term care, specialty hospitals, surgery centers, physicians, dentists, and other ambulatory healthcare providers. Debbie has 21 years of commercial banking experience in Oklahoma with over nine years in the healthcare space. Stride Bank, Member FDIC, Equal Housing Lender.

Publisher’s Note: Upon finding out our local financial institution was not able to secure SBA loans, we were forced to look elsewhere. Because we “were not a customer of theirs,” three other banks refused to even look at our application for the PPP loan. Fortunately, we made contact with Stride Bank, who worked diligently to secure our PPP even though we were not currently a customer. This publication does not generally recommend or endorse one business over another, but Stride Bank won our respect. A special thanks to Debbie Blacklock, Senior Vice President, Manager of Healthcare Banking at Stride Bank, N.A. for her hard work. OKNT recommends Stride Bank to our Healthcare Friends. VISIT US AT: https://stridebank.com/

story and photo by Vickie Jenkins, Staff Writer

Growing up in Holdenville, OK in the late sixties, people considered this as golden town living; a safe place to live, small in size and friendly folks. At the tender age of twelve, Barbara McDougal was like most girls, beginning to notice those once dreaded species called boys. She began to push her childish ways to the side, knowing that she would soon be a teenager. Barbara took notice of a certain boy that had just moved to the neighborhood, only one block away from her. She peeked out the window each time he walked by her house as he adventured out, exploring the mighty streets in the neighborhood.
As Barbara and her girlfriends gathered, Barbara found herself secretly pointing this boy out, telling them how cute he was, along with a firm statement of, “Someday, that boy is going to be mine.”
It wasn’t long before Barbara became more interested in this new boy in town. She would casually be sitting on the front porch at the most convenient planned out times. It wasn’t long before this boy walked by her house, stopping to introduce himself. It was just like one of those love stories on the big screen; the two of them stood there, gazing into each other’s eyes, as though a light suddenly came on. They knew the love bug had gotten to both of them. They had been love-struck!
His name was Bobby Aldridge and he was sixteen-year- old. He drove around town in his blue ‘57 Chevy and Barbara remembers the car being far out! After a few visits between the families and getting to know each other a little better, Barbara was allowed to meet Bobby for lunch at the local Dairy Queen. They spent their time holding hands as they listened to the juke box play some of their favorite music; Donavan’s Hurdy Gurdy Man and Tommy James and the Shondells. Soon, the relationship between the two of them progressed and they were inseparable!
In this time and age, when a boy liked a girl, he gave her a token of his love by giving her a drop, a necklace with the boy’s initials on it; Bobby’s initials being RLA. Now, they were going steady! The relationship between Barbara and Bobby was going perfect!
It was in 1970, that Barbara got the news that Bobby and his family were moving from Holdenville, to Oklahoma City, OK. No, this couldn’t happen! Both families hated to see the sweet couple separate but it had to be. Bobby’s dad had taken on a new job in Oklahoma City, OK. After the move, frequent visits were made by Barbara as her parents would drive to OKC, allowing Barbara to spend as much time as possible with Bobby. Little did they know that their relationship would be coming to an end in the near future.
Life brings changes when we least expect it and our paths take off in different directions.
Barbara graduated in 1974 and attended Oklahoma State University. This was a whole new world for her; college, new friends and discoveries of being an adult. Barbara became an LPN in 1978, working in Stillwater, OKC and even moved to Dallas, Texas for a while. Barbara realized that she needed to go back to school for her RN. She moved back to OKC in 2007 to begin RN school at OSU/OKC.
Time moves on. Barbara had just finished one of her classes and decided to go a near-by restaurant for lunch. As she sat at a booth, she noticed a gentleman sitting at a booth, across the room, not far from her. Taking a second look, he looked very familiar. Was it Bobby? With a feeling of nervousness and a little flushed, she got up and walked over to him. Yes, it was Bobby! They enjoyed talking to each other and reminisced about old times. Their love story picked up where they left off.
Barbara and Bobby were married on October 7, 2017. Barbara wore his initials, RLA as a charm on her charm bracelet in their wedding. This was the something old for her wedding.
Now, it’s the year 2020. Bobby is a homebuilder in OKC and Barbara is an RN at Mercy Rehab Hospital. Today, they still hold hands as they listen to some of their favorite music; Donavan’s Hurdy Gurdy Man and Tommy James and the Shondells.
From first love to last love, fifty-one years later and the love is still growing.

Story and photos by Darl DeVault

While Oklahoma seniors have been the most vulnerable to COVID-19, our modern heroes, medical health professionals, have also been impacted by this huge stress event.
Medical outcomes are stark. There are no proven therapies to treat or cure the disease. In Oklahoma, the vast majority of COVID-19 deaths are in seniors 65 or older, as high as 80 percent. The statistics go on and on, unchanging in dire descriptions of how vulnerable aging bodies are to the pandemic.
Another group shares a vulnerability every bit as brutal in descriptions. Our medical health professionals are the next highest death rate in America. Besides the brutal numbers of deaths, there is another facet of their suffering.
They are repeatedly exposed to preventable unmanageable stress. This immersion in the onslaught of a pandemic has the potential to inflict post- traumatic stress disorder.
In honor of the 200th birth anniversary of Florence Nightingale, the World Health Organization (WHO) has designated 2020 as the “Year of the Nurse and Midwife.” Since National Nurses Week is celebrated soon from May 6 through May 12 it is appropriate to ask one “What are you going through?”
Nurse Beth Bierig said last week from New Jersey, “Working on a floor of all COVID-19 positive patients whose change in status happens quickly without warning, makes you feel constantly guarded as to when your own medical health will quickly turn badly as well. You don’t have time to even comprehend how scary the silent killer surrounds every piece of air you work in, but it weighs heavily on your mind.”
Bierig, from Hackensack University Medical Center, goes on to explain how having a servant’s heart can put a nurse in harm’s way. “While performing life sustaining measures on your patients and respiratory fragments flood the air in the process, you can’t help but wonder, will it be saving their life that takes mine?” she said. “I don’t know the effects it will have on myself or other people, because everyone has had different experiences. Every nursing specialty has their own traumas and people are generally drawn to what they can handle.”
Also, “the support nurses receive after this will affect their long-term mental health pertaining to this situation. The whole situation has affected everyone strongly, not only health care providers. We’re living in a historic time and hopefully we all learn from it.”
From the respiratory therapists who manage ventilators, and technicians that manage ICU equipment to the direct caregivers, stress can be overwhelming. The heroes who share their servant’s heart signed up to be properly supported and use their knowledge and ability to affect positive change. Again, at present, there are no proven therapies to cure COVID-19.
Some health care professionals function where they are overwhelmed by the sheer number of deaths that take place right in front of them. Sometimes as often as hourly, these deaths may inflict a PTSD future on the frontlines of medicine.
For those healers who were constantly worried about their own health because of a shortage of personal protective equipment life can change. Just the apprehension of spreading the disease to their family could have a dire outcome.
COVID-19, the severe respiratory illness caused by the novel coronavirus pandemic is extremely transmissible. Properly protected ICU critical care team workers being readied for patient interaction look like preflight prep before blastoff for our moon missions.
These heroes may share an almost as strong an impact as the vulnerable seniors who perished. Some may suffer grave symptoms of psychological stress impacting their ability to deliver medical health care in the future.
Every psyche is different in the many roles played by helping healers who suited up to sustain the COVID-19 patients. Science tells us women are twice as likely to suffer PTSD symptoms.
This pandemic is something different. The onslaught of stress can change brain wiring for the worse — at the level to create PTSD. Later, some may seek to stay away from the situations that remind them of the traumatic events.
Some caregivers may not be able to adaptively overcome the stress and adversity while maintaining normal psychological and physical functioning.
The potential for PTSD is when an individual is placed in a situation where they do not have all the needed equipment, weaponry, support by colleagues in numbers needed, or proper support from superiors. This is also fueled when they feel they do not have the proper protective material and are forced to go in harm’s way relentlessly when they fear for their own survival. On April 3, Oklahoma showed 10.6 percent of its confirmed cases were health care workers.
Situationally produced and yet self-imposed is the stress of sleeping in their cars in their hospital parking lot because they do not want to bring potential illness and death home to their families. This can result in the development of PTSD, depression and other psychiatric disorders.
In a medical scenario where our heroes ran toward the danger and healing is supposed to take place that sounds extremely abrupt. But in many of our hospitals that were overwhelmed by COVID-19 patients presenting repeated unmanageable stressors, that is exactly what was happening.
Often nurses and doctors in COVID-19 hotspots made life and death choices, deciding who was to live and who was to die because of a limited number of ventilators and limited ability to intubate. And there was the randomness of patients dying right in front of them as these patients first entered the hospital.
We must be honest. Nurses and doctors are human and cannot escape that negative impact. People who signed up to work around the sick also take great pride in learning all the ways to be healers.
To suddenly be immersed in the onslaught of hourly and daily negative scenario can have a permanently deleterious effect on the human psyche. It remains to be seen if overwhelming the individual at a high morbidity level has a lasting effect. We know brainwave activity that negativity establishes can create specific pathways in the brain that were not there before.
How do we know what effect this has on these brave people’s body and spirit when these pathways are never compensated for? These individuals may have anxiety and depression from these days forward.
The wild card in all of this are brave medical health professionals who contracted COVID-19 themselves, while trying their best to help others. Hundreds have died around the world. Yes, they signed up for this profession, but not to suffer the same as their patients.
Another stressor is some hospitals, such as the University of Oklahoma Medical Center, are cutting pay and hours because of the strict emphasis on COVID-19 leaving them cash poor.
“A grateful nation will likely create a fund offering therapy and treatment for front line medical professionals who have health problems traceable to saving lives similar to the federal World Trade Center Health Program,” Oklahoman Kara De La Pena, APRN, said. “Considering for many of us who took on preventable risks, the James Zadroga 9/11 Health and Compensation Act of 2010 will be held up as a model for providing us medical treatment. That program is funded through 2090 now.”
The seniors saved and whole world thank our heroes and seek restorative insight into the medical outcomes thrust upon the healers who fight to keep people alive.

Talk about on the job training, Hailee Stull became a registered nurse less than a year ago. Now, she finds herself working on the frontlines of a worldwide pandemic.
“I never imagined something like this would happen in my lifetime, much less my first year on the job.”
Stull works in the Emergency Department at INTEGRIS Southwest Medical Center. She says it has been amazing to watch her team rise to the challenge. “Policies and procedures for the COVID-19 situation have been frequently changing since the beginning of the outbreak. We’re dealing with changes sometimes from shift to shift and doing our best to keep up and stay informed.”
She adds, “I’ve watched my coworkers adapt and thrive with every change thrown our way. It has been fascinating to watch and experience the creativity, teamwork and generosity on full display.”
Stull says patients and visitors have been impacted by the ever-changing environment as well. “They’ve had to deal with visitor restrictions, symptom screenings at every entrance and waiting in their cars to be seen. This crisis has proven to me just how resilient we all can be.”
But she admits caring for coronavirus patients on top of other emergencies can be a juggling act. “My role as an ER nurse is to not only care for COVID-19 patients, but to also care for other emergent patients. People are still breaking bones and having strokes. Those things don’t stop just because of a virus.”
Stull’s sense of duty helps her push past the fear. “Dealing with the unknown is always scary. I have seen what this virus has the capability to do to people. It is frightening to put myself in direct contact with this virus,” she reveals.
However, as a nurse this isn’t the only frightening disease I am in contact with. I do the best I can to protect myself while caring for my patients.”
Stull says she has always wanted to be a nurse and nothing, not even a pandemic, can change that. “I have always been a caregiver at heart and always will be – long after this pandemic is a thing of the past.”

Photography and Text by Terry “Travels with Terry” Zinn t4z@aol.com

At press time leisure travel is not available or recommended, but it does not keep us from planning and revisiting destinations worthy of future consideration. Reminiscence is the safest kind of pleasure travel, sometimes called arm chair travel. For a few moments we have a respite from current news. In the following months this travel column will revisit previous personal travel experiences. Enjoy.
Some Florida resorts are located amid a massive amount of traffic and tourist activity. The Marriott Pompano Beach Resort and Spa is somewhat off the beaten track, and is boon for motorists, with their own transportation.
While a stroll within a mile of the property can be charming, there are not many cafes, restaurants or shops within the immediate area. If your desire is to get away from it all, and just ensconce yourself in a comfortable setting with pristine and maintained beaches, 2 pools, 2 towers of accommodations and delicious eating experiences, Marriott Pompano Beach Resort and Spa may be your ideal.
When you consider a visit to Florida at any time of year, it is important to keep in mind the annual hurricane season from mid-summer through September. Of course these days, predictable weather patterns of past years seem to be unpredictable. It’s a boon to Pompano that they are far North of Miami Beach with its recent health headlines. It also is North of Fort Lauderdale, and a comfortable distance from its neighbor Lauderdale-By-the-Sea, which is a more active community with its many eateries and entertainment options. Again motorists will find it near enough to quench a typical Florida tourist’s appetite.
Near Pompano is the Hillsboro Lighthouse, privately owned and only open for tours at certain times, being a coast guard operated property. Check them for opening times and tours, as you book your visit.
Happily, sequestered in your ninth floor ocean front room with balcony, you might find the sporadic afternoon thunderstorm a real 3-D entertainment, more impactful than the best free action disaster movie, shown on your large in room TV screen. Be sure and inquire about a corner suite room, for added luxury. As with many upscale hotels, housekeeping may be sporadic, even when alerting them to your out of room schedule.
Check in time is listed at 4 pm, but as someone I know had to do, you might have to wait until 6 pm, which will give you time to explore the property, Atlantic Ocean beach, Spa, and exercise room or grab a bite to eat.
McCoy’s restaurant both comfortably inside or out by the active pools, offers a variety of delectable meal options and beverages with congenial wait staff. If you’re a fan of specially cocktails, with the proper and courtesy instruction, they follow through with your requests most satisfactorily.
Florida still offers what many sun worshipers require and the family welcoming Marriott’s Pompano Beach Resort, might be your new favorite Florida oasis for you and your extended family.
For more information and reservations: www.marriott.com/fllpm

Mr. Terry Zinn – Travel Editor
Past President: International Food Wine and Travel Writers Association
3110 N.W. 15 Street – Oklahoma City, OK 73107
https://realtraveladventures.com/?s=terry+zinn
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Mark Rolfe, M.D., is a Lung Transplant and Critical Care Pulmonologist at INTEGRIS Baptist Medical Center. He says we are starting to see an increase in COVID-19 cases requiring hospitalization. Many of those end up in the intensive care unit, where he works.
“The first time I walked into the room of a patient known to have COVID-19, I paused at the door,” admits Rolfe. “I was a little frightened at facing this disease for the first time.”
It was the first case to be diagnosed at INTEGRIS Baptist, and Rolfe reveals it brought back memories from early on in his career. “I grew up in medicine at the beginning of the AIDS epidemic and remember the hysteria around that diagnosis and all the precautions people took to not catch it. We initially wore hazmat suits with those patients and put them in different wings of the hospital.”
He continues, “It feels like I am living those days from my medical school years all over again. This disease, unlike HIV, is very contagious though. A person can spend five to six minutes with someone who is infected and catch this disease.”
In Rolfe’s ICU, every patient there either has the virus or is considered high risk. But despite the apparent danger associated with COVID-19, Rolfe feels his unit is very safe. “We have developed protocols that protect us, and everyone is very careful,” he says. “I feel I am more likely to get this disease shopping at the grocery store than in my hospital or ICU.”
He further explains, “In the public, there are unknown asymptomatic carriers who are very contagious and just don’t know it. In the hospital, I know where the danger is, and I am prepared to deal with it safely.”
Rolfe understands the importance of his work. “We are doctors. We are supposed to take care of the ill to the best of our ability. It is a challenge, but it is also a calling. God gave us these gifts for a reason. It’s time to step into the breach and use them.”
But don’t call him a hero, he says that honor is reserved for America’s finest. “Doctors are not heroes. We are doing what we were trained to do. Generations of physicians have fought off diseases throughout the years. It is our legacy. It is why we are respected in this society. The efforts to fight this disease and help people through it is the price of that respect,” states Rolfe.
“The people who put on a uniform and protect our country are the heroes.
Masks, gloves and hand washing will stop a virus. Nothing stops a bullet, a missile, a grenade, or a knife. The police and military are our heroes.”
However, Rolfe does acknowledge that the novel coronavirus has completely altered life as we knew it. He says each one of us has the power to reclaim it, we just have to work together to do so. “It’s all been said before, but it is worth repeating – wash your hands, don’t touch your face, avoid crowds and stay home to stay safe. Do what you can now, so you don’t become one of my patients later.”

Isolation has become the new normal as we all do our part to end the spread of Covid-19. But while we’re separated, experts at the Oklahoma Medical Research Foundation say there are important steps we can take to maintain our psychological and physical health.
1. Stick to a schedule
The lack of a set daily routine can be disruptive. Resist the urge to stay up late and sleep in, as it disrupts your body’s circadian rhythms, said OMRF immunologist Eliza Chakravarty, M.D.
“Sleep deprivation also causes stress hormones like cortisol to rise, signaling the body to go into fat-storage mode by slowing your metabolism,” said Chakravarty. “And when you’re sleepy, you eat more, which can put you on a slippery slope.”
2. Get moving
Research shows that even 30 minutes of moderate exercise lowers blood pressure, strengthens bones, improves mood and helps maintain muscle mass, said OMRF researcher Holly Van Remmen, Ph.D.
“Getting outdoors when the sun is shining boosts your physical and mental wellbeing,” said Van Remmen. “Do some gardening, mow the lawn, go on a long walk—whatever gets you off the couch.”
3. Say no to junk food
“Resist the temptation to graze all day long out of boredom,” said Chakravarty. “If you snack, have healthy options on hand like veggies and hummus, fruit or nuts.”
It’s no secret that obesity has a severe negative impact on health in a variety of ways. And that can be compounded by coronavirus, which appears to take a severe toll on people suffering from obesity-related conditions like heart disease and diabetes.
4. Stay connected
Sunshine and fresh air can work wonders for your mood, but so can maintaining contact with friends and family—from a distance. “Pick up the phone, send emails or write letters to stay in touch,” said OMRF President Stephen Prescott, M.D. “Even though we’re not together physically, we don’t have to be alone.”
5. Take a news break
“There’s a difference between staying informed and dwelling on never-ending commentary and speculation,” Chakravarty said. “Instead, go sew, paint, learn a hobby or rediscover an old one. Be creative.”
We don’t know when this pandemic will end, said Chakravarty. “But how you come out when it’s over depends a lot on the decisions you make now.”

OU Medicine and its academic partner, the University of Oklahoma Health Sciences Center, recently received $100,000 from CompSource Mutual Insurance Company to assist healthcare providers on the front line of treating patients during the COVID-19 pandemic.
To avoid potentially exposing their families to the virus, many healthcare providers are not going home at the end of a long workday, but are staying away from home for everyone’s safety. The donation from CompSource Mutual will be used to provide meals and a place to stay for those physicians, nurses and other healthcare providers.
“We’re grateful to CompSource Mutual for their generous support of our healthcare team to combat this pandemic,” said Dr. Dale Bratzler, Enterprise Chief Quality Officer of OU Medicine. “This donation will fund temporary housing and food for OU Medicine and OU Health Sciences Center team members living away from home to protect their families from potential exposure to COVID-19.”
CompSource Mutual Insurance Company, an Oklahoma-based business that provides workers’ compensation coverage, donated a total of $250,000 in Oklahoma to assist medical personnel and families coping with lost wages and other hardships because of the pandemic. Other recipients include the Tulsa Area COVID-19 Response Fund formed by the Tulsa Area United Way and the Tulsa Community Foundation, as well as the United Way of Central Oklahoma’s COVID-19 Response Fund.
“Our policyholders include many Oklahoma businesses that are currently experiencing the emotional, physical and financial tolls of this pandemic,” said CompSource Mutual President and CEO Jason Clark. “We are committed to being a reliable partner in our communities’ responses, which we first demonstrated earlier this month by implementing measures to help CompSource policyholders who are struggling financially to pay their premiums. This donation is the next step and supports our guiding principle to improve the communities in which we live and work. I am grateful to our leadership team for approving this vitally important assistance for three organizations who are working directly in support of first responders, medical professionals and affected families in our state.”

by Greg Schwem

The ongoing stay-at-home order has forced most of us to seek amusement by posting photos of ourselves from bygone eras to our social media accounts.
“Share your high school senior picture” was trending last week; a challenge I was about to undertake until I read how doing so could invite hackers to glean more information about me, such as where I attended school, where I currently lived and who did such a horrible job cutting my hair in 1980.
Security experts also warned that more information could be easily obtained once this information was known, as many people choose to use their high school as a security answer or worse, their password. Those of you who attended Catholic schools need not worry; even the most skilled hacker is probably going to give up before guessing, “AcademyOfOurLadyOfGoodCounsel1994.”
Despite not participating, I enjoyed seeing these throwback photos, from graduation and other events, posted by friends. Did everybody in the 1970s wear thick, black horn-rimmed glasses and look like they worked for the Apollo space program?
Ladies, if you attended college in the early 1980s, did the law require you to part your hair down the middle and then feather it back with enough aerosol to start a salon?
And guys, did you not realize that only David Coverdale, from Whitesnake, and Jon Bon Jovi could pull off the big hair, pompadour look? The rest of you had that “just exited a wind tunnel” look.
Tom, my long-time comedian friend in New York, often reminds me why he has never jumped on the fashion bandwagon. “The hipper your clothes are today, the more ridiculous photos of you are going to look in 20 years,” he says on stage.
I won’t argue.
When scientists find a vaccine for COVID-19, the “all clear” signal is given, and life returns to whatever is subsequently defined as “normal,” we will all be left with treasure troves of photos taken during the pandemic. And in future decades, when those photos find their way into school history books (assuming schools and books still exist) or onto social media sites, viewers won’t need to look at a hairstyle, a car in the background or an item of clothing to determine the photo was indeed shot in 2020.
For starters, the viewer only has to see the photo’s dimensions. It will most likely be shot vertically, with a 9-by-16 aspect ratio. The photo will contain only one subject. Correction, one HUMAN subject. Animals may be included, but more people? Absolutely not, for they will all be standing at least 6 feet away and, therefore, out of frame.
The subject will be wearing sweatpants and a faded T-shirt containing some semblance of the slogan, “We’re All in this Together.” He or she will be shoeless. Men will have facial stubble; sadly, so will some women. Hairstyles won’t have complimentary names like “The Rachel,” “Charlie’s Angels” or “The David Hasselhoff.” Instead, all hair will fall into the “Dang, That Should Have Been Cut Weeks Ago” category.
Photos of celebratory occasions will feature one participant, perfectly centered, wearing a “Happy Birthday” or “Congratulations” party hat, while grainy, square images of others hover overhead. The word “Zoom” will appear somewhere.
The “guess where this photo was taken” game will be boring once everybody realizes the answer is always the same: “Uh, your house?” Kids who play sports won’t appear in photos wearing brightly colored uniforms while baseball diamonds and soccer fields glisten behind them. Instead, the background will be a basement wall or a garage door. Youth basketball players, take heart: At least the vertical photos will make you look taller than you are.
Since the stay-at-home order began in mid-March, I have neglected to take many photos, so anxious am I to erase this moment from my life, rather than record it for future viewing. I did break down last weekend and post a selfie, snapped while my wife cut my hair. The pandemic, I realized, would not date it.
Trust me, even without a global health crisis, that image is horrifying and depressing.
(Greg Schwem is a corporate stand-up comedian and author of two books: “Text Me If You’re Breathing: Observations, Frustrations and Life Lessons From a Low-Tech Dad” and the recently released “The Road To Success Goes Through the Salad Bar: A Pile of BS From a Corporate Comedian,” available at Amazon.com. Visit Greg on the web at www.gregschwem.com.)

You’ve enjoyed reading, and laughing at, Greg Schwem’s monthly humor columns in Senior Living News. But did you know Greg is also a nationally touring stand-up comedian? And he loves to make audiences laugh about the joys, and frustrations, of growing older. Watch the clip and, if you’d like Greg to perform at your senior center or senior event, contact him through his website at www.gregschwem.com)