Amy Chlouber, Sunbeam Family Services Early Childhood Mental Health Coordinator, LPC-S, was recently honored with the 2017 C.V. Ramana Award. The award recognizes Chlouber for her outstanding contributions to children’s mental health in Oklahoma.
The C.V. Ramana Award was established to honor individuals who have played exceptional roles in enhancing awareness of children’s needs and the development of education and services to meet those needs.
Amy leads Sunbeam’s Infant Mental Health efforts with enhanced and expanded Infant Mental Health services across the organization’s four core programs: early childhood, foster care, counseling and senior services. She and her team also provide training for child welfare professionals and the District Courts of Oklahoma County as well as community presentations that create awareness about the mental health needs of infants and very young children who experience stress and trauma.
“Amy leads this initiative with her vision and passion for the youngest and most vulnerable in our community. She is the Russell Westbrook of Infant Mental Health. Talented. Passionate. Resourceful. Focused,” said Sunbeam Family Services CEO Jim Priest. “I don’t know how well she shoots free throws, but I know she consistently scores a triple double in the arena of Infant Mental Health.”
Amy is an Endorsed Infant Mental Health Mentor-Clinical/IMH-E ® (IV-C) who has worked in the mental health field for more than 20 years, specializing in infant and early childhood mental health in public, private and non-profit organizations. She has provided home and office-based therapy services and support to biological, kinship, foster and adoptive families. Amy developed and served as Clinical Director of a private mental health agency satellite office where she provided consultation and training to child welfare professionals and foster families as well as content expertise in juvenile court. She served on the Board of Directors of Canadian County CASA and provided training to CASA volunteers for many years. Amy was one of the original therapists chosen to participate in Oklahoma’s Early Childhood Mental Health Consultation pilot in licensed child care facilities. She served as the Mental Health and Disabilities Coordinator for Early Head Start through Sunbeam Family Services where she provided consultation and training for direct care and administrative staff and was instrumental in the design of the mental health program of OKC Educare. Amy left Sunbeam to work at the state level for seven years providing leadership and oversight of the Oklahoma Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Strategic Plan. She has served on numerous local, state and national early childhood work groups. Amy is on the Board of Directors of the Oklahoma Association for Infant Mental Health (OK-AIMH) and is currently President-elect. She returned to Sunbeam in 2015 as the Early Childhood Services Manager.

Picnics, campouts and going to the lake. Kathy Swan

Staying in the AC and watching the birds and squirrels. Margaret Salter

The flowers, watching people jog and exercise and getting my little puppy and playing with him. Barbara Gossett

It ain’t cold. I can’t ride my scooter wherever I want in the winter.

Mike Davis

by Bobby Anderson, Staff Writer

It’s Friday morning heading into Memorial Weekend and Tim Ingram has been up since 4 a.m.
The general manager of Yukon’s Smith & Turner Mortuary rose early to make sure the finishing touches were in place for that day’s service.
Later in the day, Ingram and his staff would open their doors to the family and friends of a beloved husband, father and grandfather.
Celebrating the life of a career truck driver with more than two million miles was on everyone’s minds.
Pictures, clothing, memorabilia, a love of John Deere tractors, farming and cans of A&W root beer were all pieces that seamlessly would weave this individual’s story together.
There would be tears for sure, but Ingram wanted to make sure there would be smiles and even some laughter inside.
“We’re taking the funeral industry into a whole new area that most people haven’t seen,” Ingram said. “It’s a whole new way. You don’t have to be mournful through the entire service. A lot of these people have struggled for months or years and so now it’s time to take a deep breath and celebrate their life.”
A SERVANT’S HEART
While many Oklahomans would spend the holiday weekend at the lake, Ingram would be visiting local cemeteries making sure Smith & Turner grave sites were properly adorned for visiting families and friends.
It’s not just a business it’s a calling for Ingram and his family.
Ingram has also been a registered nurse for the past 18 years. Working in the ICU and then hospice, Ingram remembers feeling devastated.
“I was handing families over to funeral homes that weren’t even doing their own work. The funeral home wouldn’t even come to pick them up, they were sending some service out to meet with these families,” Ingram said. “I had just spent all this time with these families and (funeral homes) weren’t even caring.”
The sound of his patient’s name being mispronounced or wrong information given during a service grated on him.
“My wife and I prayed about it and decided this was a mission field that needed to be filled,” said Ingram, who earned a degree in Mortuary Science. “This is a ministry for us. We look at it as a way to get people through the grieving process. We not only help our families but we’re here for the community.”
Ingram serves on the board of Compassionate Hands, which serves Yukon as a clearinghouse, networking service, and referral agency to provide services, support and to foster hope for self-sufficiency.
“It’s pouring back into the community,” Ingram said.
CELEBRATING LIFE
Taking care of people through nursing and funeral services just seemed to go hand-in-hand.
“It’s the same,” Ingram said of the two fields. “I feel it’s just like taking care of a patient but you’re taking care of the family. You think of the nursing process as assessing, diagnosing and treating. You’re always looking at what’s going on with that body. The same thing happens here as soon as you meet that family. You’re assessing the situation, family dynamics, who’s getting along and who isn’t, what did they like and what do you see around you.”
Smith & Turner Mortuary dates back to 1925, serving four generations of Oklahomans in that time.
It’s a business that has to be ready 365 days a year and has to be flexible enough to serve families on their terms.
“A lot of our families don’t go to church anymore and so the tradition of the ladies at the church preparing a meal has kind of gone by the wayside,” Ingram said. “We have a gathering room that accommodates large families.”
From cookies, punch and tea and coffee to catered meals, Ingram makes sure families can choose.
“We want to serve all families,” Ingram said. “Families that don’t want (a traditional service) you shouldn’t put them in that mold. If they want to go out to the farm and have something at the pond we go to the pond.”
“If they want to go to the bowling alley and grandpa liked to bowl and was on a league let’s get out of the building and go to the bowling alley and let’s bowl.”
“Whatever it takes for that family to get through the grieving process is what we want to do.”
Walk through the halls at Smith & Turner and you’ll notice the attention to detail Ingram and his staff have maintained.
Smith & Turner Funeral Director Andy Shoaf has helped guide families through the process for 44 years.
Large rooms open to smaller sitting areas for one or two people to take a moment to themselves and work through the process.
Fresh-baked cookies great guests.
It’s a place for families.
“We want spaces where families don’t feel on top of each other and where they can come in here and socialize,” Ingram said.

The American Nurses Association (ANA) today announced its continued opposition to the pending American Health Care Act (AHCA) and urges Congress to reject this flawed legislation. ANA, which represents the interests of more than 3.6 million registered nurses, has expressed serious concerns throughout negotiations about the critical impact the AHCA would have on the 24 million people who stand to lose insurance coverage if AHCA becomes law.
“This bill is an extreme departure from ANA’s priorities,” said ANA President Pamela F. Cipriano, PhD, RN, NEA-BC, FAAN. “AHCA would cut Medicaid funding by $880 billion over 10 years, dramatically increase premiums on seniors, restrict millions of women from access to health care, weaken the sustainability of Medicare, and repeal income-based subsidies that have made it possible for millions of families to buy health insurance.”
Under AHCA, states would have the option to waive essential health benefit protections which prevent insurance companies from charging Americans with pre-existing conditions significantly more for coverage. Even worse, insurers could decline coverage for substance abuse treatment, maternity care, and preventive services. “As the nation’s most trusted profession and largest group of health care professionals, nurses understand the importance of health coverage,” Cipriano continued. “ANA urges Congress to not deny peoples’ right to health care and quality of life by standing with the American people in opposing AHCA in its current form. ANA will continue to work with Congress to help improve health care delivery, coverage, and affordability for all Americans.”

Navigating the uncharted territory known as aging is not always easy. In fact, it can be down right frustrating. Boomers and seniors are encouraged to “plan ahead,” but knowing where to turn and who to trust when seeking information is often a challenge.
The Senior Living Truth Series, an ongoing educational program made up of monthly seminars and expert panels, explores various topics of interest to the 55 and over crowd. Boomers and seniors alike are invited to attend the free seminars.
Gary Harris began attending the seminars over a year ago.
“I appreciate the information provided at the seminars. says Harris. “They are well-organized and interesting with something new to learn every month.”
Like Harris, many attendees are preparing for the next chapter of life. Where and how can I live? What kind of support is available? How do people pay for senior living? Who will help me downsize?
The Senior Living Truth Series originated when Nikki and Chris Buckelew of Buckelew Realty Group at Keller Williams Realty set out to become the experts in mature moves in and around the Oklahoma City metro.
“Because our team specializes in downsizing, rightsizing, and simplifying, we get a lot of questions about topics outside the discipline of real estate. It became important to have highly competent and trustworthy resources and that is how the series began,” says Nikki Buckelew. “It was a grand experiment launched together with a small group of like-minded professionals, many still involved as sponsors.”
The Buckelews have made it their personal and professional mission to educate and guide consumers about best practices related to post-retirement living.
The attraction of the series may be that attendees are promised frank and uncensored commentary on the issues. Dr. Don Emler and his wife Suzanne began attending the seminars last year.
“The programs cover a wide range of topics and provide people with valuable resources to assist them,” Dr. Emler said.
As a retired religious educator and clergy considering his own options for future housing and care needs, he knows that many people are struggling with similar decisions. The couple also encourages formal and informal caregivers to attend the seminars so they are equipped to help others.
“I believe that clergy should attend so they can guide parishioners in making decisions about downsizing, moving, staying put in their own house, or daily care needs,” he said.
Beyond the issues of housing and senior living, the Emlers have also learned about the intricacies of long-term care insurance, veteran-related benefits, and in-home care options.
“Knowing where to go can be particularly hard for widows, added Suzanne. When you have had a partner alongside you for many years, making changes alone can be scary. The seminars provide a non-threatening atmosphere where people can go to become better informed and equipped.”
Melissa Hill of Home Care Assistance, a regular sponsor of the event, said the series has also impacted people in a way that was unexpected.
“Many people attend regularly and as a result, we get to know each other. The Senior Living Truth Series provides unbiased information and often answers questions that people didn’t even realize they should ask,” Hill said.
The next event is titled “The Truth About Probate for Property Owners “ on June 8th from 10:00am – 11:30am at the newly completed MAPS3 Senior Health & Wellness Center located at 11501 N Rockwell Ave. in Oklahoma City.
“We hear so much misinformation about the probate process. People think they know all about it, but it seems to cause a lot of problems at a time when problems are the last thing you need. We simply want to dispel the myths and equip people with facts,” Buckelew said.
Registration is free for those 55 or older and their guests. Registration for professionals is $25. Pre-registration is required and can be made at www.seniorlivingtruthseries.com or 405-563-7501. Space is limited.

Photography and Text by Terry “Travels with Terry” Zinn  t4z@aol.com

Preceding the Red Earth Festival in Oklahoma City is the informative, entertaining and thought provoking Sovereignty Symposium. Being established in 1988 the Symposium is about to celebrate its thirtieth anniversary in the historic Skiving Hotel. For two days, June 7 and 8 the most prestigious speakers from the Judicial and Native American Leaders and artist gather to share their knowledge and expertise.
The mission statement of the Sovereignty Symposium states: “The Sovereignty Symposium was established to provide a forum in which ideas concerning common legal issues can be exchanged in a scholarly, non-adversarial environment. “
Oklahoma Supreme Court Justice Yvonne Kauger has coordinated the Sovereignty Symposium since its inception. About its formation Justice Kauger says, “We did it because John Doolin kept going to the National Association of Chief Justices and they have an Indian law committee, but he went three times and came back and said, “They’re never going to do anything. They talk about it, they say they’re going to
have a seminar, they say they’re going to do this. They haven’t done anything and they’re not going to do anything.” And they still haven’t.
So he said, “We’ll just do our own.”
“Governor Bellmon was very instrumental in helping us, and Ed Edmondson, and we did it. And now we’ve been doing it, and no one gets anything for doing this, they pay
their own way. We have the best legal scholars in the world and they pay their own way and they get a T-shirt for coming and our thanks.”
Of particular interest and creativity is: SIGNS, SYMBOLS AND SOUNDS, moderated by the talented, WINSTON SCAMBLER, Student of Native American Art, who has gathered for his seminar: FRITZ KIERSCH, Assistant Vice President, Point Park University, Pennsylvania; ERIC TIPPECONNIC, (Comanche), Historian, Artist, and Professor, California State University, Fullerton; JASON MURRAY, (Chickasaw), Independent Scholar & Professor, Formerly of the University of South Dakota; POTEET VICTORY, (Cherokee/Choctaw), Artist; BRENT GREENWOOD, (Ponca/Chickasaw), Artist and Musician; JOSHUA HINSON, (Chickasaw), Chickasaw Language Revitalization Program and GORDON YELLOWMAN, (Cheyenne), Peace Chief, Assistant Executive Director of Education, Cheyenne and Arapaho Tribes.
Winston Scambler is the youngest moderator, as he is an upcoming senior at Heritage Hall and wise beyond his years. Scambler continues the seminar “Signs, Symbols and Sounds,” he began last year.
“I attribute my initial interest to my grandmother, Justice Kauger. She was adopted into the Cheyenne and Arapaho tribe and is called the Mother of the Red Earth Powwow.,” Scambler proclaims. “Through her Influence I’ve grown up with Native American Art and really love it.”
With the guidance of photograph Neil Chapman, Scambler educated himself in art with assistance from the archives at the Oklahoma History Center, before forming his seminars.
One of his favorite artists and speakers this year is Eric Tippeconnic. “Eric likes to talk about the symbols he uses, as it means something different to everyone. You’ll see a lot of hand prints and horses,” says Scambler. “This year he is doing something really contemporary with his series called, Briefcase Warriors.”

Other sessions with their moderators include:
ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT with JAMES C. COLLARD, Director of Planning and Economic Development, Citizen Potawatomi Nation;
LAND, WIND AND WATER with PATRICK WYRICK, Justice, Oklahoma Supreme Court;
TRUTH AND RECONCILIATION: GENERATIONAL/HISTORICAL TRAUMA AND HEALING with NOMA GURICH, Vice Chief Justice, Oklahoma Supreme Court;
ROUNDTABLE DISCUSSION WITH FORMER ASSISTANT SECRETARIES OF THE INTERIOR FOR INDIAN AFFAIRS, with JOHN REIF, Justice, Oklahoma Supreme Court.
Since its inception in 1988, the Sovereignty Symposium has award the status of “Honored One” to unique individuals whose life time contribution to the world, the United States, the State of Oklahoma and their personal communities are without peer. Past recipients include Justice Sandra Day O’Connor, the first woman appointed to the United States Supreme Court; former Attorney General Janet Reno, Astronaut Commander John Harrington and Cherokee Chief Wilma Mankiller.
This years Honored Ones, are Former Assistant Secretaries of the Interior for Indian Affairs: Thomas W. Fredricks, Ada E. Deer, Neal McCaleb, Carl Artman and Larry Echo Hawk..
The Friend of the Court for this year goes to Kris Steele. The Ralph B. Hodges-Robert E Lavender Award for Judicial Excellence Award goes to Oklahoma Supreme Court Justice Seven Taylor (Retired).
Benjamin Harjo, Jr. (Seminole & Shawnee), designed and donated the logo for the Sovereignty Symposium. The Lighthorseman depicts an Indian policeman framed in a star. In Indian Territory, the Five Civilized Tribes had a body of men, the Lighthorsemen, who served as a mounted police force. The Lighthorsemen helped the United States Army to keep peace in Indian Territory and to drive out white intruders. Considerable latitude was given to the Lighthorsemen in enforcing the judgments of the courts. Harjo has won many awards in major Native American art shows in the United States. His generosity is appreciated in designing and in donating the logo.
General Admission of $300 for both days may be found with your registration at, www.thesovereigntysymposium.com or sovereignty.symposium@oscn.net
You may want to add on to your cultural entertainment, the Red Earth Festival and Powwow June 8 and 9th at the Cox Convention Center near the Skirvin Hotel in downtown Oklahoma City The festival includes dance competitions and a high quality Native American art show and sale. https://www.redearth.org/

by Bobby Anderson
Staff Writer

Five years ago, a developer invited Roland J. Chupik’s Neighborhood Housing Services Oklahoma group to help rehabilitate Wesley Retirement Village located at NW 12 and Harvey.
The 85-unit apartment complex was formerly Wesley Hospital, which later became Presbyterian Hospital from 1911 to 1964.
“The marketing study that went along with that showed the need for senior independent living is just incredible,” said Chupik, the general manager of NHS Oklahoma. “There’s no way we’re meeting that need.”
In an effort to do just that the group turned its attention to the heart of the city, in particular along Classen Drive just north of St. Anthony Hospital.
The result is an astounding 48-unit complex that wows before you even make it through the door.
The Commons, located in a residential area in downtown Oklahoma City, already looks like a fixture between the booming Midtown District to the south and the coveted Mesta Park neighborhood to the north.
The newly-constructed, energy-efficient complex is designed for those 62 and older.
One-bedroom, two-bedroom and efficiency offerings come fully equipped with washer and dryer, microwave, stove/oven, garbage disposal, refrigerator and dishwasher.
“It’s amenity-rich in terms of providing what residents need,” Chupik said.
Over-delivering was the hallmark of the project.
“It was extremely important because we encounter that all the time – ‘not in my backyard,’” Chupik said of the affordable-living concept. “We wanted to show not only the neighborhood but the city and whoever was interested that affordable housing particularly for seniors doesn’t have to be what people think that might be.
“I think we nailed it on the head.”
The Commons gives residents quick access to several shopping locations.
Family and friends are welcome to enjoy the splash pad, tot lot and patio grills for an afternoon or evening.
Property staff attends to those day-to-day tasks that residents no longer have to concern themselves with such as lawn care and maintenance.
A fitness facility, computer lab and library are all located within the building.
“It goes back to our mission,” Chupik said.
The Commons is actually the group’s former headquarters.
“It’s just exceeded our expectations,” Chupik said. “When you talk to the residents they’ll tell you it’s the best place they’ve ever lived.”
A lot of time and effort – along with meetings with local neighborhood organizations – went into making sure the building and its footprint would fit seamlessly into the area.
Resident Manager Shannon Hitchcock said the interest in the property has been strong.
“(The waiting list) is going to be fairly long but right now I still have openings,” Hitchcock said. “I anticipate there will be a two or three-year waiting list.”
To help residents on a budget, the property was constructed with energy efficiency in mind. Foam insulation inside walls helps prevent energy loss while higher R-value windows help block excess heat from entering.
HISTORY OF HELPING
In the late 1970s, the country was facing a decline in the economy. The oil embargo hit Oklahoma particularly hard and neighborhoods began to turn into ghost towns as people fled homes they could no longer afford. The abandoned houses began to deteriorate and crime began to rise as a result.
A group of dedicated Oklahoma City residents fought to combat this by banding together and forming “Residents for Capitol Hill Improvement.” This organization petitioned the city to provide funding to help provide quality-housing options, which would help alleviate the decline.
Eventually this grassroots organization merged with NeighborWorks America, an organization dealing with the critical need for affordable housing across the country.
Over time, the grassroots organization evolved into Neighborhood Housing Services Oklahoma.
In 2016, the group celebrated its 35th anniversary and continues its dedication of helping create affordable, quality housing options and to help families create wealth.
Potential Commons residents must be 62 or older and meet income guidelines. The application process can usually be completed in less than a week.
Hitchcock said the majority of residents are active adults who are downsizing or coming from a less energy-efficient property.
“It’s important this process continues,” Chupik said. “This is the beginning but I don’t think we’ll end our mission for affordable housing. If it’s possible to build even better we’ll do that but I’m not so sure it’s possible.”

Q. I never really thought about “conversational intimacy” and the role it plays in a relationship. It is much harder than people think and sad to think I lost my marriage because of it. I wanted to make others aware of the knowledge I gained and to encourage you to do it before it is too late.

A. My name is Jim and I was married for 16 years. My wife and I both worked full time and we were raising two children. We were busy like all married couples with children’s activities and managing a home.
My wife would occasionally tell me that we needed “to talk” and I would get very busy hoping she would forget. She didn’t. These “talks” always made me anxious. She wanted to discuss a problem or issue related to our marriage or “my behavior.” I would attempt to talk, she would get frustrated and I would completely forget the English language. She could “out talk” me.
We went to counseling and my wife would vent her frustrations to the counselor, often crying saying how alone she felt. I would sit there and pat her on the back, which interesting enough made her dislike me even more. That’s when I learned about “conversational intimacy.” (which I was lacking).
The counselor had us sit facing each other and make eye . (Also hard to do). It was really grueling and strangely informative. I realized that my wife and I had no trouble with physical intimacy (that is until she began to really dislike me) but I’m not sure we ever really had conversational intimacy to begin with. Of course we “talked” during dating and engagement and I’m sure after we married but intimate conversations were rare.
We practiced in the counselor’s office but at home we struggled. My wife had developed some resentments towards me for my lack of concern for her desire to talk, apparently building for several years. I learned that resentments can’t easily be discarded.
She was upset that it took so long for me to “get it.” When she told me that she wanted a divorce I was devastated. I had no idea I had caused so much damage by not making myself available, listening, validating her feelings and trying to find solutions. Having physical intimacy was way more enjoyable and didn’t really require much talking. I made myself very available.
As I sit here in my apartment, alone, after taking my children back to my ex-wife’s house (previously my house too), I have become wiser. I learned how important it is to occasionally have deep conversations, to really get to know the person that I have grown to love.
new drug and you find it does help your symptoms. But when you are told it will cost $475 after your samples are gone, what is the point.
I was personally given a prescription for a skin cream, with a coupon because the doctor told me it might be expensive. When I went to pick up the prescription the pharmacy tech had a strange look on his face when he told me the small tube of cream was $1042 after the coupon!!
Be cautious. Pay attention to the side affects listed for these drugs. If you can make behavioral or life changes, try that first. Your health and your money are at risk.

Vicki L Mayfield, M.Ed., R.N., LMFT Marriage and Family Therapy Oklahoma City

If you would like to send a question to Vicki, email us at news@okcnursingtimes.com