Highlight: Lindsay Roberts

by Betty Thompson

CALERA—Some people are born with an innate desire to help others. That is certainly true of Lindsay Roberts.
Growing up 10 miles north of the Oklahoma-Texas state line in Calera on her family farm, Roberts was heavily involved in agriculture from a very young age. And she loved it.
“It completely defined my life,” said Roberts, “Agriculture should define your life; It feeds you three times a day.”
Like many who grow up in the industry, Roberts became involved in the youth organizations 4-H and FFA. She began showing sheep at age three as a Cloverbud. As soon as she turned nine, she immersed herself in everything 4-H had to offer, showing, public speaking, shooting sports, and so much more. When she entered the 8th grade, she joined FFA and took advantage of the many opportunities it had to offer as well.
“I love both organizations,” Roberts said, “I think they are valuable resources.”
Roberts reflected on many life lessons she obtained in those organizations.
“I have a wonderful mom and grandma at home who taught me lots of things, but I learned how to set a table properly, how tip a waiter or waitress and how to put on pantyhose through FFA,” Roberts laughed.
She continued her FFA membership even into the collegiate chapter. Today she volunteers with both organizations wherever she can, one of those ways is by serving as the sheep superintendent for the Bryan County Junior Livestock show.
Roberts said many of the same volunteers who were here when she was showing as a kid are still in the barns volunteering today. She is the youngest of the livestock show volunteers, and the only woman.
“I love to help these kids with their projects,” Roberts said. “If they need something, or can’t afford something, I want to help. It’s my way of giving back to all those who helped my parents raise me.”
After Roberts graduated from Calera High School, she studied at Agricultural Economics at Murray State and went on to finish the degree at Old Dominion University in Virginia.
In the winter of 2004 Roberts was home on Christmas break from school and over at a friend’s house. As fate would have it, there was a young man there who was home on leave from the Navy. Dustin Roberts was deployed shortly after she met him, and the two began dating through letters and emails.
Shortly after, they got married, and three days later, Dustin deployed again for 18 months. They have been happily married for 13 years now.
The two have settled near where Roberts was raised, allowing her to help with her family’s fertilizer plant in Durant.
She is putting her economics degree to good use as the accountant for the family business, and also helps with other duties such as assisting with and loading bulk fertilizer, ensuring customer orders are filled and invoiced, and managing the office.
Her dad and grandparents have owned the business since 1995, and most of their employees have been there for over 15 years, so Roberts said they are all like family.
“I love working with my family every day,” Roberts said. “Not many people get to do that. It sure is rewarding at the end of the day.”
While working full time at the fertilizer plant, Roberts is also working on her Certified Public Accountant licensing at Southeastern Oklahoma State University in Durant.
“A lot of federal and state agencies recommend using a CPA that specializes in agricultural accounting,” Roberts explained. “That’s a service I hope to provide in our community.”
Roberts said there are not many CPAs who concentrate on agricultural accounting, so there is a great need in a highly agricultural area.
Her desire to help those in her community does not stop with 4-H, FFA and accounting. She has become the main point of contact for Veterinary Feed Directive (VFD) issues in her area.
Roberts said the law enacted by the FDA took many producers, retailers and veterinarians by surprise.
“I worked with local vets and a local math teacher to work out an education program to help the vets and those of us on the retail side as far as what their options were,” Roberts said.
She even got her husband Dustin, who is the Representative for House District 21, to work on a legislative approach. She took time to meet with Congressmen and ranchers from various states, and as a result, she became a valuable resource to many in the community on how to stay compliant with the law.
She carries her helping nature into her home as well. In addition to the Roberts’ two rescue dogs and cat, they also have two rescue ducks.
Roberts said she was attending a birthday party for a toddler when she rescued the two baby ducks from being trampled by the toddlers.
“They weren’t being handled gently, so I just went over and scooped them up,” Roberts laughed. “I turned my green house into a full-blown aviary—they live the life of luxury.”
The rescue ducks, Petey and Petunia, are certainly not the only ones in southern Oklahoma who have benefited from Roberts’ generosity and desire to help.

Photography and Text by Terry “Travels with Terry” Zinn [email protected]

Last month I gave you an over view of the sights in Westchester county, just north of New York City. Now let’s go up the Hudson River Valley to discover the variety of venues in Albany, New York.
I think it was in the fifth grade when I first heard about Albany, New York, as we were studying all the capitols of all of the US cities. It was a bit of a mystery this state capitol so far north of New York City, yet so important to the state’s history and in current affairs. Decades later I discovered Albany in a personal way with a weekend excursion.
Most striking about Albany is the site, inside and out, of this historic capitol building itself with took thirty years to complete. It stands on a hill and overlooks the city, and the nearby Empire State Plaza with its monolithic office buildings and the unusual egg shaped theater complex. The plaza complete with reflecting pool and with ice skating in the winter, is popular for public events. On one end is the State capitol building and on the opposite side the New York State History Museum (www.nysm.nysed.gov). . The extensive museum houses several sections, including homage to the Civil War ( with a life mask of Abraham Lincoln), and more recently artifacts from the World Trade Center disaster. Be sure and visit the observation deck of the 42 storied Corning Tower.
State Street which could be called Albany’s’ main street, runs down from the capitol, pointing toward the Hudson River. Near the base of the street stands, 74State Street Hotel (www.74State.com), which was my pleasant home base and my oasis for my discoveries. 74 State offers several breakfast menu items, and my guests and I enjoyed their Eggs Benedict more than once. This Ascent Hotel Collection provides wireless internet, room service in the morning and evenings and supplies free coffee in the lobby from 6 am to 10 am. The fitness center is open 24 hours. The property also has the Bistro/Bar venue on the second floor, with an expansive picture window overlooking busy STATE street. While the hotel is upscale it features recycled New York State wood and granite.
Just down the hill a bit is the upscale Jacks Oyster House (www.jacksoysterhouse.com) where without a doubt I had the best meal of my visit. As a steak person I tested their expertise and they passed with high marks, as they did for the Martini. My other companions had a variety of entrées including oysters on the half shell and a Lobster tale prepared with gourmet expertise. The service was as exceptional as you would have expected at a fine old world restaurant, and it was a near shame we had to leave to catch a theatrical presentation in Schenectady, NY at the Proctor Theater, which was a treat.
Be sure your discovery of Albany includes a visit to Speak Easy 518 (www.Speakeasy518.com) where you will have unique cocktail tastes accentuated by a variety of herbs and vintage concoctions. You are admonished: “The bar is open to anyone, but not for everyone. In order to maintain our peaceful, secretive existence beneath the city we require the respect of the following house rules which include: Please dress sharply and speak easy. Mind your manners.” Live jazz may be there on your night, and while they offer a variety of wines and beers the experience is in tasting the Prohibition Era Cocktails or the New World Concoctions. You might try the Midnight in the Italian Alps, of Braulio Amaro, Cardamaro Amaro, JFB Sorrel Liqueur, with Flamed Orange Zest, or the Papa Doble made with ADC Quackenbush House Rum, Maraschino Liqueur, and Fresh Grapefruit Juice. Many of the flavors are earthy and perhaps so usual you may have to develop a taste over several visits. To keep the ambiance low, no photography is permitted.
Other recommend dining venues include: Albany Pump Station (www.evansale.com), A Better Bite Deli (www.abetterbitealbany.com), Jake Moon Cafe (www.jakemoon.net) and the popular New World Bistro Bar (www.newworldbistrobar.com).
Albany has more to offer than space allows- but be sure to include the Albany Heritage Center (www.albany.org/visitors-center), the Albany Institute of History and Art (www.albanyinstitute.org), and weather permitting a visit to John Boyd Thacher State Park (www.nysparks.com/parks.com), and Goolds Orchards and Brookview Station Winery (www.goold.com). If you are lucky you might get to view a replica of Henry Hudson’s “Half Moon” Ship, which is the symbol of Albany.
Upcoming dates of interest and for more information: www.albany.com

Mr. Terry Zinn – Travel Editor
Past President: International Food Wine and Travel Writers Association
http://realtraveladventures.com/author/zin

By Darlene Franklin

On the eve of Prince Harry’s marriage to Meghan Markle, I remember watching Diana Spencer marry Prince Charles when my children were small. A generation later, Americans remain fascinated with royal weddings. Although our country rejected a sovereign king at its birth, we still love pomp and circumstance.
According to the New York Post#, we remain fascinated by royalty because embody national unity in a unique way. (Presidents are rather polarizing figures).
Perhaps that’s why enjoying nature’s majesty leads us to the unifying force of nature’s God.
Consider the experience of Katherine Lee Bates.
In 1893, the young Wellesley professor taught a summer course in Colorado Springs. She joined a faculty trip to the top of Pikes Peak. Inspired by the panoramas, she wrote a heartfelt poem. Visitors today can read her words on a plaque atop the mountain that rises more than two miles into the sky:
O beautiful for spacious skies, for amber waves of grain, for purple mountains majesties above the fruited plain! America, America, God shed grace on thee.
Almost a hundred years later, I traveled to Colorado for the first time. I kept looking for the mountains. At the top of one final rise, they filled the horizon. Mountains, mountains, everywhere I looked, from north to south. Tall, rugged, in shades of slate blue and purple—breathtaking.
God’s majesty stampeded through my heart for the first time since I left New England for college, The soaring peaks increased my awareness of God’s other-ness as creator and king. I loved it so much that I stayed in Colorado for two decades.
As a child, I loved summer storms. Lightning flashed and waves crushed against the rocks with destructive force, but they didn’t scare me at all. In the pounding, echoing, hissing squall, I heard echoes of God’s voice and responded to His roll call.
Lord, our Lord, how majestic is Your name in all the earth! You have set Your glory in the heavens.
In similar ways, music’s harmonies lift my heart to God. Two hundred seventy-five years have passed since Messiah, George Friedric Handel’s masterpiece, was first performed on Easter Sunday, 1742.Legend has it that King George II attended the premiere. He was so impressed by the Hallelujah Chorus that he remained standing for the duration of the song. Everyone around him also stood, as required by royal protocol. That’s the reason why audiences today stand during the performance. An earthly king recognized The King, and so must we.
I’ve had the privilege of performing all two and a half hours of the Messiah. When I’ve been at my lowest points, I lose myself in a music, whether classical or contemporary, that lifts God up. Worship His majesty.
While not nearly as melodic, a child’s first cry also showcases God. Nothing captures the pinnacle of creation, the one creature made in His image, as perfectly as a newborn child. So tiny, so helpless—so perfect. All parts work as God designed, made to live with God in eternity although it will take a second birth to make that happen.
As the proverb says, a child is God’s approval that the world should go on. God gave Abraham and Sarah a son after he had lived for a century. The Lord gave me a grandchild when my daughter died. My first great-grandchild this year brought happiness as old age approaches.
Lately I’ve discovered that the silence of old age adds a high-pitched bell, hardly heard, to the choir. A church holds regular services every Sunday and Wednesday at the nursing home where I live. Many of our most faithful members struggle to speak. One lady of German descent claps when the preacher’s family joins in the singing. Her evident delight brings to mind the verses from Psalm 8 that speak of “the praises of children and infants.”
Or how about my friend, who writes down her prayer requests because we struggle to understand her stroke-riddled speech? Or the ones who come in reclining chairs, their warm smiles saying it all? Sweet praise rises from the lady who reads out loud from her Bible, so soft-spoken we can’t hear her words. Their whispered, nonsensical, missing voices reach the highest heaven. I offer a pianist’s hands as a humble accompaniment to their purer worship.
God’s majesty confronts me, demanding an answer. I respond in worship.

The Leapfrog Group, a Washington D.C. – based organization aiming to improve health care quality and safety for consumers and purchasers, today released the new Leapfrog Hospital Safety Grades. SSM Health St. Anthony Hospital – Oklahoma City, including SSM Health Bone & Joint Hospital at St. Anthony, was one of 750 awarded an ‘A’ for its efforts in protecting patients from harm and meeting the highest safety standards in the U.S. The Safety Grade assigns an A, B, C, D or F grade to hospitals across the country based on their performance in preventing medical errors, infections and other harms among patients in their care.
“SSM Health St. Anthony Hospital is part of one of the largest integrated health systems in the nation – a health system that is internationally recognized for quality. Our priority is to provide exceptional care that improves the lives of our patients and the health of our communities,” said Tammy Powell, President, SSM Health St. Anthony Hospital.
“This is the only national rating of how well hospitals protect patients from preventable harm and death, such as medical errors, infections, and injuries,” said Leah Binder, president and CEO of The Leapfrog Group. “Receiving an ‘A’ Safety Grade means a hospital is among the best in the country for preventing these terrible problems and putting their patients first, 24 hours a day.”
Developed under the guidance of an Expert Panel, the Leapfrog Hospital Safety Grade uses 27 measures of publicly available hospital safety data to assign grades to approximately 2,500 U.S. hospitals twice per year. It is peer reviewed, fully transparent and free to the public.
To see the SSM Health St. Anthony Hospital full grade details, and to access patient tips for staying safe in the hospital, visit www.hospitalsafetygrade.org and follow the Leapfrog Hospital Safety Grade on Twitter and Facebook.
Founded in 2000 by large employers and other purchasers, The Leapfrog Group is a national nonprofit organization driving a movement for giant leaps forward in the quality and safety of American health care. The flagship Leapfrog Hospital Survey collects and transparently reports hospital performance, empowering purchasers to find the highest-value care and giving consumers the lifesaving information they need to make informed decisions. The Leapfrog Hospital Safety Grade, Leapfrog’s other main initiative, assigns letter grades to hospitals based on their record of patient safety, helping consumers protect themselves and their families from errors, injuries, accidents, and infections.

The GTO Education Foundation and Galleria Furniture are proud to announce CELEBRATE OKLAHOMA – ITS PRODUCTS & ITS CHILDREN on June 24, 2018.
The event will run from 10:00 A.M. to 6:00 P.M. at Galleria Furniture, 3700 W. I-40 Service Road, Okla. City, Oklahoma.
The event has two purposes: showcase Oklahoma made products and businesses, and raise funds and collect school supplies for school children across the state.
To date over 75 Made in Oklahoma vendors have reserved over 100 booth spaces to showcase their products and promote their business. To have a booth at the event, vendors have been asked to donate school supplies in lieu of booth space rental. A wide variety of Oklahoma Made products will be offered to the public.
Over 10,000 three ring binders received from one of GTO’s donors, will be distributed to 350 Oklahoma school teachers for their students at the event. Additional school supplies collected during the event will be distributed the second week of July.
There will also be a Classic Car Exhibition by 405 Classic Cars. The exhibition will feature over 15 classic cars, sure to catch the eye of all classic car enthusiasts.
Free hot dogs and the trimming have been provided by two Oklahoma based companies and will be available all day. Additionally, several food vendors will be offering a wide variety of delicious food items.
Admission to the event is a mere donation of school supplies.
Anyone donating supplies on the day of the event will be put in a drawing for one of 54 prizes, which will be drawn for at 5:00 P.M. on the day of June 24. Guests do not have to be present to win. Prizes include: 5 piece bedroom set, a queen mattress set, a recliner, 2 sets of malouf pillows, and 50 special made in Oklahoma hand crafted items.
Two things Mr. Gary Owens and his family are passionate about is Made in Oklahoma products and Oklahoma school children.
Celebrate Oklahoma highlights these two passions.
The GTO Foundation is a nonprofit organization founded by Galleria Furniture store owner Mr. Gary Owens and his family in 2015. The mission of the GTO Foundation is very simple: To assist Oklahoma school children with the supplies and tools necessary to be successful in the classroom.
GTO posted a face book post recently asking teachers what they needed for their students for the upcoming year and the post received 1,100 requests from teachers all across Oklahoma. GTO’s goal is to assist as many of these teachers as possible. For individuals or businesses who would like to donate school supplies but can’t make it to the event, we have partnered with Blu Source, a school supply company out of Guthrie, Oklahoma, and they have provided a web site dedicated to purchasing supplies for GTO donations. The web address is: https://gtofoundation.bluschoolsupplies.com/
Over the past two years GTO has provided over 15,000 three ring binders to Oklahoma school students and has provided over 3,000 books to schools for children that might not have a book at home to read. Several special events have been held in the past to showcase Oklahoma teachers.
Please join us as we CELEBRATE OKLAHOMA – ITS PRODUCTS & ITS CHILDREN.
For additional information contact Marsha at 405-942-9222, ext 144, email the GTO Foundation at: [email protected], or visit our face book page: The GTO Foundation.

Please bring any unwanted items to our office (between 8a-5p) and we will ensure to clean and price them accordingly! All items received will be sold in our Yard Sale on June 8th and June 9th between 8a-5p. ALL PROCEEDS GO TO BENEFIT THE ALZHEIMER”S ASSOCIATION! Please feel free to donate items AND attend the yard sale! We look forward to raising awareness with you!

4th Quarter of your Life – Spring Training was held at Crossings Church Oklahoma City on May 3rd. The weather started out with thunderstorms and tornado warnings. Break outs sessions were presented by Elaine Dodd, with the Oklahoma Banking Association on fraud & the Million Dollar Business in Oklahoma, Carla Scull with the Oklahoma Alzheimer’s Association. Patrick O’Kane with Sunbeam family services facilitated the Grandparents raising grandchildren.
Ray Walker, Director of Medicare Assistance, Jose Olivero with Social Security, Brandy Bailey Valir Pace, Jill Huff Director Marketing with Spanish Cove, Keri Dennis with Stone Creek Assisted Living, Jack Werner A to Z Home Inspection, Samantha Strealy Territory Manager with Comfort Keepers, Jay Parker from the Oklahoma Department of Veterans Affairs held classes for more understanding on the options that many adults face every day. Our thanks to the Sponsors of the 4th Quarter, Comfort Keepers, SYNERGY HomeCare, Well Preserved Advisory Group, Spanish Cove, Stone Creek Assisted Living, Niki Higgins- Life Style Realty, Quail Creek Bank, Interbank, Baptist Village, Daily Living Center, Oklahoma City Hospice, OGE, Rick & Denise Guttenberger, Mercer Adams, Touch mark, Village Concept and Home Care Assistants for helping to make the 4th Quarter a great success. It was an honor to deliver “A big fat Check” to RSVP on Wednesday to help with the Senior Transportation program in Oklahoma County. The check was named after Lance Ward, Congregational Care Pastor asked Eunice if she brought the check? The answer was no – with that Mia, Eunice’s granddaughter came up with a “Paper check made by Mia titled “A BIG FAT CHECK “ all remaining proceeds from the 4th Quarter Event were donated to RSVP. Upon return to Crossings Lance immediately emailed Beth to let her know the Check is really in the mail!

by Bobby Anderson, Staff Writer

Through the years, John Dunning has been a purveyor of antiques and lover of music.
Funny, how his two loves married a few years ago.
Now, Dunning runs Trolley Stop Records, 1212 N. Pennsylvania and is feeding the metro’s resurgent appetite for vinyl records.
A story in Forbes magazine noted that since 2009 the vinyl format has experienced a 290-percent increase in growth.
You’ll find CDs at Trolley Stop but they’re relegated to the back. There’s no doubt vinyl is the star of the show here.
“To me the unusual thing was back in the 80s CD’s put vinyl out of business pretty much,” he said. “But now it’s kind of flip-flopped and records are putting vinyls out. They’re not making the CDs as much and Best Buy and Wal-Mart, they’re dropping CDs.
“The interesting part is it’s the only example of a technology replacing a technology and then the replaced technology coming back and replacing it. I can’t think of any other scenario.”
“I’ve tried, stretched my brain, but can’t think of any other scenario where that’s happened.”
Dunning’s collection is massive.
“I don’t really know,” Dunning shrugs when asked how large. “People are bringing more in almost daily.”
Trolley Stop contains just a fraction of the vinyl Dunning has collected over the years. He’s got a warehouse that he keeps adding to.
It’s one of the reasons he’s now on Penn.
Dunning arrived to the Penn Theater a year ago this past April with nothing but a cement floor to greet him.
Wooden record cabinets and a stage were created.
By late July Trolley Stop was open for business and the old location at 18th and Classen was shuttered after a seven-year stay.
Since then a number of bands have graced the stage.
“I was just wanting a bigger venue and was driving around town and they had a big For Rent banner hanging,” Dunning said.
There’s a low-key vibe at the Trolley Stop.
Dunning and his wife, buy and sell. Rescue dogs litter the floor here and there, oblivious to the customers most of the time and then sauntering up for a scratch behind the ears other times.
“I just want to be a source of records for people who enjoy music,” Dunning said petting one of the dogs. “And a place to have concerts, too.”
Born in 1951, Dunning is now a visionary for a technology that appears to be sweeping the nation – again.
“It was really displaced but now it’s just booming,” Dunning said of records. “There were lots of guys that never gave it up. Then you had guys once CDs hit that gave all their records away and now they’re kicking themselves.”
And Dunning is there to sell them all back to them.
“The quality of the sound is better. The art is so much richer than a little plastic case,” he said. “You want to sit down and read the liner notes. You get a little CD case and you try to read it and within five minutes you’re tired.”
An artifact, a sampling of art and a piece of of history all come packaged with unforgettable sound.
“The young ones are hopping onboard and its fascinating them because they never grew up with it so it’s fascinating to them,” he said. “They’ve kind of embraced it. And with the power of the Internet being able to listen to old songs and look up bands and history it’s right at their fingertips.”
“Now it’s become a family affair.”
One of the big things Dunning has noticed the last few years is how families come in together. There’s the little ones, the tweens and teens, moms and dads and the grandparents.
“Kids can ask grandpa if they saw this band or that one,” Dunning said. “It’s bringing families together.”
The format almost disappeared in the early 2000s. But then it caught fire again.
Like most people, Dunning watched the Beatles on Ed Sullivan.
“That got me going,” he grinned.
Right after in 1964 Dunning went to the Municipal Auditorium and saw the Dave Clark Five.
He was hooked.
Trips to see Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Led Zeppelin and other bands most people wish they could see followed.
Dunning spent the 1970s living in a commune in Oklahoma City. Yes, he’s a hippie and proud of it. He was responsible for helping bring more live music to the metro with the construction of the Prairie Lady concert hall.
“We had new bands that were hitting and lot of the old bands,” Dunning said. “That was a lot of fun. To me that was kind of my college education, that time frame.”
Now, he’s teaching a proverbial master’s class to those falling in love with vinyl all over again.

Six (6) law enforcement officers who died in the line of duty in Oklahoma will soon be engraved on the newly renovated Oklahoma Law Enforcement Memorial in Oklahoma City. Their names will be dedicated during the 50th Annual Oklahoma Law Enforcement Officer’s Memorial Service at 10 a.m. the morning of Friday, May 18, 2018. The public is encouraged to attend the service. The memorial is located on the west grounds of the Oklahoma Department of Public Safety Headquarters, 3600 M. L. King Avenue.
The six fallen officers being added are:
Perkins Police Officer Henry L. Cotton, died April 29, 1986, from complications following surgery for injuries sustained during a fight making an arrest March 28th;
Oklahoma Department of Corrections Corporal Stephen R. Jenkins, Jr., died January 7, 2017, from a heart attack he suffered after chasing an inmate with contraband at the Clara Waters Correctional Center in Oklahoma City;
Craig County Deputy Sheriff Sean F. Cookson, died February 27, 2017, from injuries sustained in a traffic accident the morning of February 22nd while in route to training;
Tecumseh Police Officer Justin M. Terney, died March 28, 2017, after being shot twice during a traffic stop about 11:30 p.m. the night before;
Logan County Deputy Sheriff David J. Wade, died April. 18, 2017, shortly after being shot several times while serving an eviction notice in Mulhall;
Oklahoma Highway Patrol Lieutenant D. Heath Meyer, died July 24, 2017, from injuries sustained when he was accidently struck late the evening of July 14th by an OHP unit after he laid out stop sticks for a pursuit north bound on I-35 near NE 27th Street in Moore.
The Oklahoma Law Enforcement Memorial is the oldest state law enforcement memorial in the United States. It was dedicated May 15, 1969. The memorial recently underwent a $180,000 total renovation after it was found that the memorial plaza was sinking due to almost fifty years of rain water running over and under it. The memorial will also be rededicated during the annual memorial service May 18th.
For more information on the memorial and the eight hundred fallen officers honored on it see the memorial web site at www.oklemem.com

by Bobby Anderson, Staff Writer

It wasn’t until the bullets engraved with the initials of her and her children were placed into her hands that Krystel Huddleston, RN, realized just how close she had come to death.
Eight years later the nurse manager who lived through fear, isolation and abuse wants to make sure others in similar situations know that there is hope.
Born and raised in Texarkana, Texas, Huddleston fell in love early at the age of 14. She met a man 10 years older she was sure she would spend the rest of her life with.
As a married woman high school seemed frivolous so she dropped out.
Three kids soon followed as did the isolation and belittlement intermingled with mental and physical abuse.
“I actually got into nursing because he chose that for me,” Huddleston said of her ex-husband. “He felt like that was predominantly women and I wouldn’t be around a lot of men.”
Staying home and playing World of Warcraft and Everquest were at the top of her husband’s agenda.
Huddleston’s husband drove her to nursing school every day until she became an LVN.
Huddleston would cook, clean, go to school, do homework and take care of the kids, all while being kept inside a trailer with locked windows and no other contact.
“I really felt like I had a normal life,” said Huddleston, now a nurse of 12 years and a manager. “I remember getting out into the workplace with strong women and strong personalities. I remember sitting at the nurses station one year and a seasoned nurse was talking about Dr. Phil.”
“I said ‘You’re allowed to watch Dr. Phil?’ She looked at me and asked if I still lived with my mom. I told her my husband says I couldn’t watch that because it gives women ideas.”
“I remember that exact moment realizing my life isn’t normal.”
“I knew the abuse was not normal and he was extensively, creatively abusive,” she said. “I knew that was not normal but I also knew if I catered and walked those egg shells I could find my way around.”
There were good years, but the alcohol and mental health issues began taking their toll.
While Huddleston was bettering herself with a career her husband’s love for the couch, ice cream and playing video games caught up with him.
He developed uncontrolled diabetes. Huddleston had to take care of him, too.
“As he was getting weaker I was getting stronger being in the workfield around strong women,” she said. “Finally, I decided he was going to kill me if I stayed or if I left so I was going to at least make it worth his time.” She went to work one morning after hearing the clicking sound of an empty gun pointed at her temple.
She called the police to pick up her three boys.
Her ex-husband beat the female officer who responded.
Three months later her husband shot himself.
Going through belongings after the funeral, Huddleston began questioning herself.
Was it her fault? Did she do something to make it happen? What could she have changed?
As she dug through personal belongings she found an envelope.
In the envelope was a receipt for five burial plots.
Letters written to her parents and his explaining the family’s planned death were also included.
“His full intention that day was to kill everybody but something intervened and he only killed himself,” Huddleston said.
The irony of her ex-husband choosing the one career for her that would set her free was never lost on Huddleston.
“At first it was very intimidating – just more bullies,” Huddleston said of entering nursing. “I felt I was the low man on the totem pole and I knew nothing. But as those women became my colleagues and I was learning and seeing them interact with spouses I pulled from that and I grew from that.”
“That really helped me become a stronger person.”
Huddleston had one boss that really poured into her. She challenged her to stop being negative, realize her strengths and push forward.
Some scars will always remain.
To this day she’s still not a hugger. She admits she can be uncomfortable with touch.
At restaurants she sits facing the door. In meetings she has her back to the wall.
Don’t sneak up on her.
She’s remarried, though, and moved on.
“I still have my moments,” she says. “Some days I can be confident and be great and nobody knows. Other days it’s one bad event after another.”
The future she’s given herself and her boys is the stuff Lifetime movies are made of.
“There’s always a chance. Take that chance,” Huddleston said of getting out. “It’s worth a chance to try.”