Speak-Up, Dad!

Dads have too much pressure yet keep quiet about their needs

Father’s Day traditionally takes a backseat to Mother’s Day but a new national survey reveals we owe Dad special attention on his big day this year. The survey reveals that more than half of adult children (52%) sometimes feel they take their dads for granted! Why?
1) Families expect so much from Dad (be the breadwinner, romantic husband, caretaker for children, athletic supporter, handy man,)
2) Dads aren’t as vocal about their needs and accomplishments
3) Mom seems to get all the attention!
The national survey of 300 men and women was commissioned by Visiting Angels, one of our nation’s largest in-home senior care companies with more than 500 offices throughout the country.
DADS GET SLIGHTED ON FATHER’S DAY
Nearly ½ of those surveyed (44%) say they have felt dads get slighted on Father’s Day because…
1) Moms get more attention on Mother’s Day
2) Dads don’t expect as much on Father’s Day so they can get overlooked
3) It can be hard to find a good gift for Dad
ARE WE GIVING GIFTS DAD WANTS?
Americans spend half as much on gifts for Father’s Day than they do on Mother’s Day, according to the National Retail Federation. While Mother’s Day is the third largest spending-holiday in America, Father’s Day ranks number six on that list, behind Valentine’s Day and Easter.
What gifts do adult children plan to give Dad this year?
• Top gift: a card
• Second: quality time with the kids and family
• Third: gift cards
When Dads were asked what they REALLY want for Father’s Day, they said:
• Top gift: quality time with the kids and family
• Second: gift cards
• Equally tied for third: retreat to the man cave and a card
Turns out, we are giving Dad gifts he really wants! By the way, only 10% of dads say they really want a new tie for Father’s Day! And, only 13% say they want those “world’s greatest dad” gifts.
WHY VISIT DAD ON FATHER’S DAY?
Three out of four (76%) adult children say they plan visit their dad on his special day because…
• 86% say they love him and want to spend time with him.
• More than ½ (58%) say they want to set a good example for their kids.
• 1 in 5 (20%) say it’s one of the few times they get to see him each year because they’re so busy.
“It’s no surprise the survey reveals adult children adore their dads and want to visit them in-person on Father’s Day because they don’t get as much time with their aging parents as they would like,” said Larry Meigs, CEO of Visiting Angels, one of our nation’s largest in home senior care companies, with an office in our area. “On Father’s Day and every day, our caregivers go into seniors’ homes to provide companionship, light housekeeping, meal preparation and transportation. When you can’t be there for Dad, we’re here to help.”
Visiting Angels is the source for this survey and this online survey was done by a third party and commissioned by Visiting Angels.
Survey participants (150 men, 150 women) have no affiliation with Visiting Angels.

Dad’s been gone over a year now. It was time to sit down with Mom and have that uncomfortable but necessary conversation about moving on. I started with simple suggestions.
“How about returning to golf, Mom?” I said.
“My knees are acting up. And my back. And my joints. Then there’s my vision …”
OK, not a good launching point.
“You’ve always enjoyed cooking, right?”
“Cooking for one is not exactly a joyous activity.”
I couldn’t argue with that.
“Volunteer at the hospital?”
“Too depressing.”
“Gardening?”
“My knees are acting up. And my back. And my joints …”
“OK, I get it,” I replied, while realizing this could be more difficult than I first thought. It was time to pull out the heavy artillery.
“Graffiti artist in Portugal?”
“Excuse me?”
I grabbed her iPad and pulled up the Facebook page of LATA 65, boasting thousands of “likes” and containing dozens of photos of senior citizens roaming the streets of Lisbon, Portugal, armed with spray paint “latas,” which is Portuguese for “can.”
“What a wonderful idea, Greg,” Mom said. “Send your nearly 80-year-old mother overseas and have her deface one of Europe’s most beautiful cities. Will you and my grandchildren visit me in prison? I can hardly wait to meet my celly. How do you say ‘shank’ in Portuguese?”
“Calm down Mom, it’s perfectly legal,” I said, quickly launching into my limited knowledge of LATA 65, gleaned solely from online articles and social media. The organization seeks to break down the negative connotations often associated with graffiti – “street art” to its supporters – by painting colorful designs in some of Lisbon’s most blighted areas. And what better way to show that graffiti can beautify a city, as opposed to attracting warring gang factions, than by employing the geriatric set to create art?
I showed Mom photos of grandmas and nanas sitting around a conference table, plotting designs and cutting stencils. Scrolling further, I shared pictures of these same women, some wearing rubber gloves and fume-preventing surgical masks, transferring their concepts to murals, pavement and the sides of buildings. In one photo, women who looked as if they came straight from Tuesday afternoon book club triumphantly hoisted their latas aloft, signaling a successfully completed project.
“So, what do you think?” I asked Mom. “See the world, meet new friends, learn a foreign language, and create visual statements that will endure long after you’re gone. You could cross off an entire Bucket List in one trip!”
“I’m not much for art,” she replied. “And I don’t know anything about painting.”
“That’s where the mentor program comes in,” I said, reminding her that this mature gang doesn’t prowl Portuguese ‘hoods unsupervised. All workers paint in tandem with professional street artists, who school them in the finer points of urban graffiti.
“I’d miss everybody back home,” Mom said.
“Think of it as a work-study program,” I said. “Go over there for about 10 weeks, learn the craft and bring your skills back here. There must be a few areas in your subdivision that could benefit from a dose of Portuguese-infused urban art.”
“Come to think of it, the clubhouse exterior looks a little drab. And don’t get me started on the tennis court,” she said. “Of course any improvements, changes or modifications would require a two-thirds vote of the homeowners association.”
“Worry about that later,” I said. “Right now you need to run to Home Depot, grab a lata or three, and make sure your passport is up to date. I’ll check flights on Expedia. Oh, and Mom, if you do get arrested over there, just remember this phrase: ‘Por favor, Posso pintar minhas paredes celulares.’”
“What does that mean?”
“It’s Portuguese for, ‘May I please paint my cell walls?’”

(Greg Schwem is a corporate stand-up comedian and author of “Text Me If You’re Breathing: Observations, Frustrations and Life Lessons From a Low-Tech Dad,” available at http://bit.ly/gregschwem. Visit Greg on the Web at www.gregschwem.com.)

(c) 2015 GREG SCHWEM. DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY, LLC

Per the Journal of the American Medical Association, hearing loss is one of the most common chronic health conditions and has important implications for a person’s quality of life. However, hearing loss is substantially undetected and untreated.
At INTEGRIS Health we believe everyone age 55 and older should have their hearing checked every year as part of their overall wellness.
In recognition of National Speech and Hearing Month, the INTEGRIS Cochlear Implant Clinic will offer complimentary hearing screenings for individuals who have not yet been diagnosed with a hearing loss. If you currently wear a hearing aid or have been diagnosed with a hearing loss, a screening will not be sufficient.
The doctors of audiology at the INTEGRIS Cochlear Implant Clinic can help determine if you have a hearing loss and what treatment options they can offer you. The screenings are available by appointment only.
For more information or to schedule an appointment for a complimentary hearing screening, please call the INTEGRIS Cochlear Implant Clinic 405-947-6030.