Sunday, April 27, 2025

The Fountains at Canterbury Welcomes New DON

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By story and photo by Lauren Daughety

The Fountains at Canterbury, a continuum of care senior living community in Oklahoma City, welcomes a new member to their staff. Kristy Davis is the new director of nursing at The Springs, The Fountains at Canterbury’s skilled nursing and rehabilitation center.
Davis has more than 13 years of experience in the health care industry. Previously, Davis has served as a registered nurse in intensive care and rehabilitation settings and as a director of nursing in long-term care.
“My two greatest passions are long-term and senior care,” said Kristy Davis, director of nursing at The Fountains at Canterbury. “I love spending time with the elderly and listening to their stories. I am so impressed with the community here and the positive culture and look forward to working with my associates.”
“We are thrilled to welcome Kristy as a part of our team here at The Fountains,” said Scott Steinmetz, executive director of The Fountains at Canterbury. “Her experience and passion for senior care makes her the perfect fit as director of nursing at The Springs. She joins associates enthusiastic about maintaining a thriving community.”
The Fountains at Canterbury is dedicated to being the first choice in senior living, providing a continuum of care including independent living, assisted living, memory care, innovative rehabilitation therapies and skilled care. The Fountains at Canterbury is committed to creating an extraordinary community where people thrive. To learn more, please call (405) 381-8165 or go online to www.watermarkcommunities.com.

 

TRAVEL/ ENTERTAINMENT – Jamaica: More than the Jazz & Blues Festival

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Jamaica: More than the Jazz & Blues Festival

Photography and Text by Terry “Travels with Terry” Zinn  t4z@aol.com

While an excuse is never needed to visit exotic locales, it’s advisable to have an anchor activity for your visit.  The Jamaica Jazz and Blues Festival near Montego Bay, was my initial reason for revisiting Jamaica.  I had been there decades ago with a group of college chums. Other than the palm trees and azure waters and the natural wonder of Dunn River Falls near Ocho Rios, I don’t remember much.
The Jamaica Jazz and Blues Festival is a three night event, held this year at the Trelawny outdoor stadium near Montego Bay.  The musical line up of acts was impressive, fun and educational.  Reggae is not in my lexicon of favorite musical styles, as the first night was all nominal Reggae from local and regional bands
The second and third nights the caliber of musical entertainment increased with well-known performers including: Mariah Carey, Arturo Tappin, Richie Stephens, Peter Cetera, Charlie Wilson, Pointer Sisters and Soja, who were nominated for Best Reggae Album at the 57th Grammy Awards this year.   While many expected Carey to be the highlight of the Festival, it was Charlie Wilson and Peter Cetera who earned the adoration of the music fans.
Before and after the evening concerts I visited several Jamaican attractions that offer variety, education and fun.   Be sure and plan to visit the restored 1760 Rose Hall plantation house.  Here with a personal tour you can step back in time to imagine the lifestyle of a sugarcane plantation owner.  The most famous inhabitant was John Palmer’s wife, Annee, who turned out to be called the White Witch by her slaves for her cruel treatment, as she murdered a few husbands and herself was killed in the house. It is said she still haunts the house to this day.  While the house was in ruin until in 1965, we are thankful it was completely restored to what might have been its glory days.
Chukka Caribbean Adventure Tours (www.chukka.com) offers  ATVs, dune buggy rides and Zip lining. It is a safe and enjoyable soft adventure to drive a two person dune buggy through the orchards with majestic views of the distance Jamaican mountains.  Zip lining is always an adventure, for no two locales are ever the same. As you sit down into your harness and let go, you never know what jungle vistas will be zipping by. Going through the fork of a large tree, is indeed a thrill.  The expert guides at Chukka are to be commended for their skill and attention. Chukka also offers, nature canopy tours, river floating and rum tastings.  If you can work into your time, visit the great house. The view from atop this hilltop mansion of the Egg Crate Mountains provides a unique memory.
Over in Ocho Rios, be sure and visit Mystic Mountain (www.rainforestbobsledjamaica.com) with its dry bobsledding ride, Dolphin Cove (www.dolphincovejamaica.com)  with its sea life and aviary, and it goes without saying to visit iconic Dunn River Falls (www.dunnsriverja.com).  For Jamaican history visit the downtown Montego Bay Cultural Center, by Sam Sharpe square with parking in the rear.
In Montego Bay you may wish to stay at the adults only, all inclusive, upscale Hyatt Zilara hotel (http://rosehall.zilara.hyatt.com) with its extensive pools and palm fringed private beach.  While I don’t know if it’s officially recommended, but with eight all inclusive (no bills) dining locales, where reservation are not taken, your own impromptu progressive dinner could be enjoyed.  What a luxury to sample an appetizer here, and entree at another venue and then dessert at another.
Hyatt Zilara offers Brazilian style dinning; Italian, with fresh made oven baked pizzas; an anytime buffet at Horizons, and a favorite of all, the on the beach Jerk stand, with melt in your mouth grilled chicken, port and sausage. Open till 6 pm, a beach side sampling, always hot and ready, is indeed a vacationer’s dream.  Beach and pool side servers are available to take and deliver your beverage requests. More eating options are also available along with a Crepe stand near the lobby, operating until 2 pm. And don’t forget 24 hour room service. At Flavorz, I had a Welsh Rabbit, Sunday Roast with Yorkshire Pudding (a pastry), topped off with Jamaican Fruit Cake which is more like a chocolate mousse cake infused with fruit flavors.
On my first night I was delighted at the service and ambiance of the dress code-enforced Petit Paris restaurant.  Stewart, my server was informative, efficient and personable as he served me scallops, a house salad, Steak Frites and an out of this world coconut Crème Brule. I added another perfect martini made from the Stirz bar adjacent to the main lobby.  Not many bars in the best resorts can make a proper martini or follow directions, but at the Hyatt Zilara, over several days of enjoyable testing, I found them all accomplished.  With an evening beverage in hand while strolling along the balmy ocean surf at dusk, you can create and take in a true lux resort experience.
You need not wait until next year to visit Jamaica during the Jazz and Blues Festival, for as you can see Jamaica has many other attractions around which to center your visit. My thanks to the Jamaica Tourist Board for their assistance, as they can also help you plan your Jamaican visit.  (www.visitjamaica.com)DSC_0242.whole

SAVVY SENIOR – How to Make Your Bathroom Safer

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How to Make Your Bathroom Safer

Dear Savvy Senior, What tips do you recommend for making a bathroom safer and more functional for seniors. My 79-year-old mother slipped and fell getting out of the shower last month, and I’d like to modify her bathroom a bit with some safety features that can help protect her.  Searching Daughter

 

Dear Searching,
Because more accidents and injuries happen in the bathroom than any other room in the house, this is a very important room to modify for aging in place. Depending on your mom’s needs, here are some tips for each part of the bathroom that can make it safer and easier to use.
Flooring: To avoid slipping, a simple fix is to get non-skid bath rugs for the floors. Or if you want to put in a new floor get slip-resistant tiles, rubber or vinyl flooring, or install wall-to-wall carpeting.
Lighting: Good lighting is also very important, so install the highest wattage bulbs allowed for your mom’s bathroom fixtures, and get a plug-in nightlight that automatically turns on when the room gets dark.
Bathtub/shower: To make bathing safer, purchase a rubber suction-grip mat, or put down adhesive nonskid tape on the tub/shower floor. And have a carpenter install grab bars in and around the tub/shower for support.
If your mom uses a shower curtain, install a screw or bolt-mounted curtain rod, versus a tension-mounted rod, so that if she loses her balance and grabs the shower curtain the rod won’t spring loose.
If your mom has mobility issues or balance problems, get her a shower or bathtub seat so she can bathe from a seated position. In addition, you may also want to get a handheld, adjustable-height showerhead installed that will make washing while sitting down easier.
Another, pricier option is to install a walk-in-bathtub or a prefabricated curbless shower. Walk-in tubs have a door in front that provides a much lower threshold to step over than a standard tub. They also typically have a built-in seat, handrails and a slip resistant bottom, and some have therapeutic spa features with whirlpool water jets and/or bubble massage air jets.
Curbless showers have no threshold to step over, and typically come with a built-in seat, grab bars, slip resistant floors and an adjustable handheld showerhead. Prefabricated curbless showers and walk-in-tubs typically cost anywhere between $2,500 and $10,000 installed.
Toilet: Most toilets are about 14 to 16 inches high which can be an issue for many people with arthritis, back, hip or knee problems. To raise the toilet height, which can make sitting down and getting back up a little easier, you can purchase a raised toilet seat that clamps to the toilet bowl, and/or purchase toilet safety rails that sit on each side of the seat for support. Or, you can install an ADA compliant toilet that ranges between 17 and 19 inches high.
Faucets: If your mom has twist handles on the sink, bathtub or shower faucets, replace them with lever handle faucets. They’re easier to operate, especially for seniors with arthritis or limited hand strength. Also note that it only takes 130-degree water to scald someone, so turn her hot water heater down to 120 degrees.
Entrance: If your mom needs a wider bathroom entrance to accommodate a walker or wheelchair, install some “swing clear” offset hinges on the door which will widen the doorway an additional two inches.
Emergency assistance: As a safety precaution, purchase a waterproof phone for the bathroom or get a medical alert device (SOS emergency call button) that your mom could wear in case she falls and needs to call for help.
You can find all of the products suggested in this column at either medical supply stores, pharmacies, big-box stores, home improvement stores, hardware and plumbing supply stores as well as online.
Send your senior questions to: Savvy Senior, P.O. Box 5443, Norman, OK 73070, or visit SavvySenior.org. Jim Miller is a contributor to the NBC Today show and author of “The Savvy Senior” book.

Prevent Clinic helping Brookhaven residents stay healthy

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John Murgai and Lee Rose have helped Brookhaven Administrator Mollie Wooldridge (left) and Director of Nursing Dustin Schuler, RN, (third from left) keep residents healthier.

Like any good administrator, Brookhaven Extensive Care’s Mollie Woolridge is constantly looking for better ways to help her residents.
So when she heard about the Prevent Clinic and what it could do she was sold.
“We always want to give the best care for our residents so anything that’s new and can make their lives better or easier we want to try,” Wooldridge said. “What they pitched to us was what we needed because readmissions are an issue and these can prevent some. It can at least let us know when someone is declining.”
Enter John Murgai and Lee Rose with Prevent Clinic – an on-site health monitoring and management firm that specializes in identifying patients who are at-risk for hospital readmission.
Once those patients are identified, Prevent Clinic focuses on continued monitoring until the patient’s prognosis improves.
Patients in the Prevent Clinic – largely those with congestive heart failure – are examined once they begin the program and are then seen weekly.
“We know from the start if they are at risk and what to look for and they are monitored regularly by additional people,” Wooldridge said. “And it’s people that learn to know them.”
Brookhaven specializes in nursing care. And Dustin Schuler is the Director of Nursing.
From a clinical standpoint, he was all for using Prevent Clinic.
“It was just giving us an extra tool to care for the residents,” he said. “For a long time with skilled care you had to send them out to the hospital to get any kind of testing done. It was just a great option to help the residents.”
Wooldridge monitored the numbers and liked what she saw.
“When did this work? From the very beginning,” she said.
Prevent Clinic’s ultrasounds and dopplers are also at Schuler and his staff’s disposal.
“The technology the mobile x-ray has is pretty high-end,” he said.
“Once I got the nurses on board 100 percent it was definitely additional peace of mind,” he continued. “I think they like it, knowing there’s another test they could run. It gives them something else we can go to. They realize sending the resident to the hospital isn’t good for them and it isn’t good for the family.”
Health care reform has pinpointed hospital readmissions as a key area for improving care coordination and achieving potential savings.  Medicare patients have the largest share of total readmissions and the highest associated costs for readmission.
According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services’ Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality, there were approximately 3.3 million adult hospital readmissions in the U.S. in 2011. That resulted in $41.3 billion in additional hospital costs.
For Medicare patients, the No. 1 condition resulting in readmission was congestive heart failure which was responsible for 134,500 readmissions. Septicemia and pneumonia were the next two conditions responsible for the majority of readmissions. These three conditions alone resulted in $4.3 billion in hospital costs.
At a time when hospitals are trying to lower a patient’s length of stay, patients are unfortunately coming home sicker than before.
The thinking is that objective hemodynamic data can lead to better outcomes and ultimately a lower cost of care.
“It’s an added plus on our side because we do something nobody else does,” Wooldridge said.
Initially, Wooldridge admits her staff was leary of taking on a new process. But Murgai quickly won them over.
“Trying new things is always difficult because you don’t want to add more work to already overworked people,” Wooldridge said. “But I think this helps them in so many different ways. It’s not additional work it’s additional eyes on our residents. More people can see a decline or an improvement.”
Murgai said Brookhaven is the first facility to use Prevent Clinic’s optimized program.
“We test every patient here,” Murgai said. “Every patient gets tested … that way nothing falls through the cracks for them.”
And the cracks are where patients can slip through, leading them back to the hospital.
“Hospitals are where sick people are and people get sicker sometimes when they go there,” Rose said.
That’s why keeping them out of the hospital is the best prescription.

Pop the Cork on the Good Life

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About Stephen F. Lovell, MBA, ChFC®, CLU®, CFP®, CFS, BCM, CRPC®, AEP®, RHU®, AIF®

Imagine a bright, golden vista filled with soothing, warm sunshine – perhaps it is California’s Highway 29. You’re driving this scenic route after crossing the Golden Gate Bridge on a Tuesday during working hours. That’s right, you’re going to Napa.
Of course, this is precisely the kind of thing you’re getting used to doing on Tuesdays – not only because you’re becoming a wine connoisseur, but also because Tuesdays no longer belong to hours under the glare of fluorescent lights in front of your work computer. Aah, you’re retired.
“That’s the dream, and as a native San Franciscan I know it well. I myself have traveled the byways of food and wine in the Bay Area. More Americans could be living their dream during retirement, wherever they go to play,” says Stephen F. Lovell, a nationally recognized retirement expert who emphasizes a comprehensive approach for well-being during one’s golden years.
“Many baby boomers will retire in the next few years, and for many of them that dream has a nightmarish tinge—they’re worried they’ll run out of money.”
Lovell, president of Lovell Wealth Legacy, (www.lovellwealthlegacy.com), says 2015 can and should be the start of that good life. He offers three simple ways to bring your dream into reality.
•  Revise your budget at the year’s beginning. Ask yourself: How do I spend my money? Many of us believe we have a reasonable idea of where we put our money, but unless you account for your spending, you may miss out by not putting away enough for your happy retirement.
A household’s discretionary spending on nonessential goods and services like a second smart phone case or the premier movie channel is could top 30 percent. And that is often twice what you intended—but you don’t see it until you budget. “Budgeting puts you in the driver’s seat,” Lovell says. “From there you can control where you spend. You’re buying on purpose, and sometimes you get a nice surprise. That alluring vacation is now within reach.”
•  Be proactive about your financial interests before visiting a professional. Knowing which financial products may work best for your personal needs and how to protect your hard-earned money from unnecessary taxation is not what most laypeople excel at. That job is best handled by working with a professional. But, as with your health, you reap the benefits of being aware of your needs and of initiating the process of looking after yourself.
“Remember, 40 percent of retirees underestimate their life expectancy, according to an Ernst & Young study,” Lovell says, “so if you don’t want to run out of money, create your financial plan to cover this extended retirement period. Then, you odds for a comfortable retirement are improved.”
•  Consider alternatives to stocks, bonds and cash. Many new investment types have appeared to solve planning and retirement issues. Yet most investors limit their choices by relying exclusively on stocks, bonds and cash. From 2000 to 2013, the stock market, for all its ups and downs, wound up at roughly the same place, around 1527. At a 2 to 3 percent investment cost per year, many investors, for all their efforts, lost money! “I educate my clients by bringing to their attention the wide universe of investment types. Results are that more suitable solutions are uncovered and then applied for the client’s benefit.”
Stephen F. Lovell is a thoroughly credentialed, nationally recognized financial professional. Since 1990, he has been gathering various licenses — in insurance, securities, real estate, commodities and as a registered principle — to offer his clients a thoroughly comprehensive perspective on their wealth. He is president of Lovell Wealth Legacy, (www.lovellwealthlegacy.com), and a branch manager at LPL Financial. Lovell has earned several professional honors and memberships. Since walking with his mother as a child for the March of Dimes in San Francisco, he has been active in local and national charities. More recently, Lovell has taken to the airwaves as a radio host at KDOW, where he hosts a weekly show about pursuing financial success and, of course, enjoying the fruits of that financial success.

Change for Good – Nurse seeks to change hospice market

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by Mike Lee
Staff Writer

Debra Moore, RN, didn’t sleep much the night before.
Her new job as clinical director of Oklahoma Hospice Care is a daunting one and keeps her busy.
But the award-winning nurse wouldn’t trade it for the world.
“I feel like I make a difference,” she said, just a few hours removed from sitting up most of the night with a dying patient and their family.
Moore became Oklahoma Hospice Care clinical director near the end of 2014, accepting a staff of more than 10.
“She’s just an amazing, charismatic leader,” says Jennifer Forrester, RT, community relations director. “People want to follow her and she takes ownership and the magnitude of responsibility for that position.”
Moore was the gem Oklahoma Hospice Care had been looking for.
And Moore is a firm believer that Oklahoma Hospice Care is poised for expansion. Oklahoma Hospice Care has offices in Oklahoma City and Shawnee with a radius stretching 50 miles from each office.
She floats the idea of one day having an inpatient hospital.
She’s never been one that dares to dream.
“Here I get the best of both worlds,” Moore said. “I still get to teach about oncology and I get to take care of patients because I’m not a behind-the-desk clinical director. I feel like the only way you’re going to lead something is if you have your hands on it and know what’s going on.”
Oklahoma Hospice Care is a Christian-principled organization specializing in caring for their patients and the patient’s families wherever they call home through personalized plans of care developed with input from the family physician, the hospice physician, the patient, the patient’s family and the members of the hospice interdisciplinary team.
Community Relations Representative Tori Aldridge sums up the task at hand nicely.
“Families invite us into their lives at their most vulnerable point,” Aldridge said. “We get one opportunity to take a tragic situation and make it bearable, even good. We aren’t there to focus on a person’s death. Instead, we focus on the remainder of their life.”
“We don’t speed up their disease process and we don’t slow it down. We go at their pace and do our best to minimize the surprises. The diagnosis and prognosis have been the most paramount surprises in their lives.”
Moore is a native of Oklahoma City. She obtained her nursing degree from Oklahoma City Community College in 1999. She began her nursing career at Presbyterian Hospital in the Med Surgery/Neurological Center and served as RN charge nurse.
Moore spent the next chapter of her career at Midwest Regional Hospital where during her tenure she worked as an oncology certified RN, manager of the Outpatient Oncology Center and finally director of inpatient and outpatient services.
She received the Nursing Award of Excellence in 2008 and the Spirit of Transformation Award in 2011 from the Oklahoma Hospital Association. She has also been an Ambassador for the United Way and served many years as team captain for the American Cancer Society’s Relay for Life.
Moore credits her mother, Anna Rose Wilson, for instilling love and compassion that has led her to be the woman and nurse she is today.
With five children and two grandchildren, Moore stays busy even when she’s not busy at work.
She exudes happiness. It’s hard to ever find her in a down mood. And that’s who she looks for when she hires.
“I was looking for caring, compassion and someone who didn’t mind hard work,” Moore said of the opportunity to hire new staff when she got the job. “I was looking for someone to go into the home when I couldn’t be there.
“As far as a clinical perspective you can have all the commercials and advertising you want but word-of-mouth and letting people see what we do, that tells it all right there,” she said. “We’re different because we all do actually care and that’s why I’m glad we handpick our people. We know the people we have working for us.”
And that’s a comfort for both Moore and her patients.
“I measure success by the patient saying ‘job well done,’” Moore said. “It’s simple. Being in this field and probably any field it just takes common sense. What would you want done for your mom? What would you want done for your grandmother? Whatever you would want done for them that’s what you do for the patient.”
And sometimes that means getting a few hours less sleep than she’s used to, like the night before.
“I asked (the family member) if we could have done anything else. She said ‘Debra, you guys were amazing,’” Moore said. “That’s what keeps us going. I got a couple hours of sleep last night but that’s what keeps me going. That’s what makes me not even care about sleep. I can wait until Friday.”

RSVP of Central Ok Visits Lincoln Park Senior Center

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“Be Ready” disaster preparedness bag were presented to each senior at the Lincoln Park Senior Center in Oklahoma City.

story and photos by Lisa Davenport, PROVIDE-A-RIDE Outreach Coordinator

 

Celebrating the life and work of Martin Luther King Jr., RSVP of Central Oklahoma staff and volunteers visited with the older adults who attend the Lincoln Park Senior Center in Oklahoma City while serving them coffee and donuts.  In addition, they presented each senior with a “Be Ready” disaster preparedness bag, which included a flashlight and blanket; two items needed in the event of an emergency or disaster.  The insulated bags are big enough to hold other essential items, such as water, medications, a change of clothes, copies of important documents, a first aid kit, etc.  The bags are great to have “ready” to use at home, or grab and take in case of the need to evacuate.
Beth Patterson, Executive Director, spoke about Senior Corps, which is made up of the Retired Senior Volunteer Program, Senior Companion Program and Foster Grandparent Program.  Each program connects older adults with rewarding and meaningful community volunteer opportunities.
Lisa Davenport, Outreach Coordinator, spoke about the Provide-A-Ride program, which provides free medical transportation for seniors, age 60 and older, living on limited incomes.  She explained the program offers not only transportation, but also conversation and companionship, which is very important to the clients living in isolation with a limited support system.  She invited the group to join RSVP in their mission to help seniors within our communities remain as independent as possible, and  in their own homes for as long as possible, by volunteering to take them to their much needed medical appointments.
The event concluded with a question and answer period and each of the 40 participants pondering the question presented by Dr. King years ago, “What are you doing for others?”
For more information about RSVP of Central Oklahoma, call 605-3110, or visit www.rsvpokc.org.   To become a volunteer driver or register as a Provide-A-Ride client, call 605-3106.
RSVP of Central Oklahoma, Inc. is a part of the Corporation for National Service and a proud United Way of Central Oklahoma partner agency.

February & March AARP Drivers Safety Classes Offered

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Date/ Day/ Location/ Time/ Registration #/ Instructor
Feb 19/ Thursday/ Norman/ 9 am – 3:30 pm/ 440-8802/ Palinsky, Norman Regional Hospital – 950 N. Porter
Feb 28/ Saturday/ Norman/ 9 am – 3:30 pm/ 292-9770/ Palinsky, Little Axe Community Center – 1000 – 168th Ave. N.E.
Mar 5/ Thursday/ Okla. City/ 9:30 am – 4 pm/ 951-2277/ Edwards Integris 3rd Age Center – 5100 N. Brookline
Mar 10/ Tuesday/ Midwest City/ 9 am – 3:30 pm/ 691-4091/ Palinsky, Rose State – 6191 Tinker Diagonal
Mar 11/ Wednesday/ Okla. City/ 9 am – 3:30 pm/ 752-3600 or 478-4587/ Reffner, Mercy Hospital – 4300 W. Memorial Rd
Mar 13/ Friday/ Okla. City/ 9 am – 3:30 pm/ 942-4339/ Palinsky, Will Rogers Senior Center – 3501 Pat Murphy Dr.
Mar 13/ Friday/ Okla. City/ 9 am – 3:30 pm/ 951-2277/ Edwards, S.W. Medical Center – 4200 S. Douglas, Suite B-10
Mar 14/ Saturday/ Norman/ 9 am – 3:30 pm/ 292-9770/ Palinsky, Little Axe Community Center – 1000, 168th Ave. N. E.
Mar 20/ Friday/ Okla. City/ 9 am – 3:30 pm/ 681-3266/ Palinsky, Woodson Park Senior Center – 3401 S. May Ave
Mar 21/ Saturday/ Moore/ 9 am – 3:30 PM/ 799-3130/ Palinsky, Brand Senior Center – 501 E. Main
The prices for the classes are:  $15 for AARP members and $20 for Non-AARP. Call John Palinsky, zone coordinator for the Oklahoma City area at 405-691-4091 or send mail to:johnpalinsky@sbcglobal.net

Bouncer, please remove that songbird from the bar

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By Greg Schwem

The next time you are traveling through Oregon and spot a zebra finch, or what non-ornithologists call “a bird,” it’s best to stay away.
The creature may be drunk.
In their attempts to understand the relationship between alcohol and speech impairment, researchers at Oregon Health and Science University recently chose to ply the birds with booze and then record their sounds. Finches were chosen because, according to the study, they “learn song in a manner analogous to how humans learn speech.”
I’m not sure why further study on this topic is needed; we need only ask celebrities to explain how alcohol affects one’s ability to form words. Mel Gibson, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and Justin Bieber, please step up to the bar. Still, I read on, despite breaking my cardinal rule to never read medical studies. Doing so requires one to digest sentences such as, “nucleus RA occupies a position in this pathway analogous to the layer 5 motor neurons within the oral-motor and laryngeal representation areas of the human primary motor cortex, which project onto brainstem laryngeal centers for vocal control.”
I interpreted that to mean I shouldn’t summon security the next time I’m sitting next to an angry fan screaming profanities at a professional sporting event. Instead, I should politely ask him to tone down his brainstem laryngeal center. And then call security.
The birds’ initiation into the world of intoxication began slowly; finches were first fed water, then water mixed with white grape juice and finally white grape juice spiked with alcohol. Then the real fun began as the finches entered a studio complete with professional microphones, preamplifiers and recording software. “Singing was recorded and processed with the settings for zebra finch song,” researchers wrote.
Would somebody please tell me the proper zebra finch song settings? This was not explained despite an exhaustive description of what to listen for when zebra finches begin singing. There was also no indication of exactly what songs they were singing.
Researchers quickly noticed that alcohol exposure in finches did not affect their general behavior. They were able to perch, stand upright and even fly inside their cages despite being buzzed. It also did not affect their willingness or motivation to sing. So despite the similarities between finches and humans, differences abounded as well. If alcohol did not affect our willingness to sing, karaoke bars would have ceased operation years ago.
However, male finches did noticeably perk up when females were introduced into adjacent cages. The males also suddenly decided they were great dancers. Okay, I made that last one up.
The recording sessions lasted several hours because, as the study points out, “finches clear alcohol quite slowly once high blood ethanol concentration (BEC) levels are achieved.”
Who knew?
Also, there was plenty of alcohol to clear because, as researchers sheepishly admitted, the BEC levels could be classified as “risky” drinking with one bird even approaching binge drinking status. After reading the entire study, I reached two conclusions:
I need a zebra finch to clear out all the strange alcohol in my liquor cabinet. How did I end up with a bottle of Crème de Menthe?
I will never look at white grape juice the same way again.
But I also believe further research is needed before concluding people and finches are alike when it comes to alcohol consumption. Oregon researchers, please answer the following questions:
Are male finches inclined to pick fights with bigger, stronger finches after accusing them of looking at their female companions?
Do female finches warble on incessantly about relationships and glumly sing how they may never find “The Right Mr. Finch?”
Do finch couples break up and reconcile repeatedly while drinking?
(Greg Schwem is a corporate stand-up comedian and author of “Text Me If You’re Breathing: Observations, Frustrations and Life Lessons From a Low-Tech Dad,” available at http://bit.ly/gregschwem. Visit Greg on the web at www.gregschwem.com.)  (c) 2015 GREG SCHWEM. DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY, LLC

 

SENIOR TALK – What was your favorite job you ever had? Emerald Square Assisted Living

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What was your favorite job you ever had? Emerald Square Assisted Living

 

I worked for an abstractor. I pulled down the big books and typed them from handwritten pages. Christina Smith

I did payroll and paid bills at the Port Aransas Chamber of Commerce.  Emma Stone

Being a librarian. I loved it. Hazel Hicks

I guess the one I enjoyed the most was the one that made me a living all my life. I worked for a jewelry store doing their diamond stone setting. Kenneth Sneed

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