Senior Living Fair set for April

by Bobby Anderson, staff writer

As Senior Programs Manager for the Salvation Army Central Oklahoma Area Command, Lisa Sydnor helps families struggling with crucial decisions when loved ones have an unexpected life change.
She was one of those people years ago when her mother faced a world-altering event.
That’s why this month’s Senior Living Fair has a special place in her heart.
The Salvation Army Senior Living Fair will be held Saturday, April 29 from 9 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. at the OKC-County Health Department northeast campus.
This year the focus is on the families of seniors and providing resources for them as they help their loved ones make decisions about downsizing, finding affordable housing and more.
More than 65 vendors who can connect seniors and their families to these much needed resources are expected to attend.
The Senior Living Fair is an annual event that is free to the public thanks to sponsors and includes exhibits for health and wellness, housing, Medicare information, insurance, aging-in-place, and fun ways to stay active.
The Salvation Army Senior Programs offer participants the opportunity to learn, innovate, promote healthy activities, express and fulfill artistic talents, and socialize. The enhanced self-worth, dignity and hope are intrinsic to the well-being of every person.
The non-profit Sisters in Motion group will be there, teaching seniors the benefit of hula hooping to improve their flexibility and range of motion.
“What we want to do is bring all those people together,” Sydnor said. “It’s not just a health fair. It’s about living now but taking care of the contingencies.”
Sydnor’s mother hadn’t taken care of those contingencies a few years back.
So Sydnor became one of those family members who didn’t know where to turn when her mother took an unexpected turn for the worse.
“I can tell you from experience,” Sydnor says. “If you don’t know what you don’t know then you make a mistake. When you realize the mistake then you have to start over again.”
Sydnor remembers walking in to check on her mother one day after work and the entire house had blackened walls.
Her mother was sitting in the middle of it all and Sydnor was aghast.
“She was sitting there barely breathing and said she fell asleep while cooking,” Sydnor said. “The walls were black with soot. Had the neighbor next door not smelled something and basically kicked the door in … mother probably would have died from smoke inhalation because she had limited respiratory function anyway.”
“I had to do something.”
Within 72 hours, Sydnor was forced to downsize her mother to a shared room at a nursing home.
The phone book was her only resource.
She thumbed through, praying the next call would be the right one for her mother.
Turns out it wasn’t.
Within two weeks of choosing a home she knew she had made a mistake.
“Not knowing what questions to ask, you just don’t ask them,” Sydnor says. “I don’t want to see somebody else like that.”
So she pulling her mother out of the center and moved her in with her for the time being until a more permanent situation was found.
During the process, she found out her mother had made no final expense arrangements.
In taking care of her mother’s finances and living situation, it became clear that she needed to have a conversation with her own children.
That’s why the Senior Living Fair is so important. Sydnor says experts from a number of relevant industries are brought together to provide a resource – not just for seniors but for everyone as they age.
“I want to see the seniors come with their families and with their children or grandchildren who will make decisions and help them,” Sydnor said.
This year will be the first time the event has taken place on a Saturday. The move from Thursday mornings was intended to accommodate families who help seniors make important life decisions.
Downsizing, supplementing Medicare, finding the right place to live after an illness or crisis – these are just a few of the topics Sydnor says will be covered.
“Just myriads of questions,” Sydnor said. “We also have health agencies. We’re trying to reach the families so they can make better informed decisions.”
And for Sydnor, she hopes that others aren’t caught unprepared when the unexpected arrives on their doorstep.

A LOVE LETTER TO THE GREATEST GENERATION

By Darlene Franklin

I am writing this on Memorial Day. Between now and the date this is published, we will also celebrate Flag Day and Independence Day. It makes me think of veterans who proudly served, those surviving members of the “greatest generation” who live by my side in the nursing home.
What was it like to win a war that had shown the worst of mankind, from the Holocaust to the only use of atomic bombs? How did they raise children while dealing with the fear that the rest of the world would catch up with atomic power and destroy life on the planet?
Did they wonder how their sacrifice led to a generation who rejected much of what they valued? When an American president was assassinated? When the country rioted in protest to the war in Vietnam? When a different president was impeached and left office?
Perhaps the Eighties felt like a return to greatness. Unless, like me, they were stuck in the oil-decimated economies of states like Oklahoma and Colorado, and saw their American dream gradually sliding away while their pride in their country never faded. (I’m a baby boomer, not a greatest gen, by the way.)
Fifty years past the war, interest surged. Grandkids asked for the old stories. Memories that had been buried in the business of life returned. Some memories slipped away altogether as those who’d live them aged.
For other vets, age has brought back the war years into the present. One gentleman, a man who must once have been tall and handsome but now is thin and hunched over in his wheelchair, rolls from room to room, always with the same question on his wrinkled lips. “Where do I report for duty?” or “Where’s the Army office?” Again and again, all day, he asks, “What am I supposed to be doing?”
The answer-”whatever you want”-doesn’t fulfill his sense of duty.
Other days his thoughts are with his wife. “Has anyone seen my Helen? How can I get to Amarillo?”
With the new millennium came a new threat on 9-11. How would they pass on their core values to their grandchildren’s grandchildren, as the psalmist asked. “So that a future generation-children yet to be born-might know. They were to rise and tell their children so that they might put their confidence in God and not forget God’s works, but keep His commands.” (Psalm 78:6-7, Holman Christian Standard Bible)
Whatever our age, family matters most. One nursing home friend loves to brag about her family: five children, plus a sixth, a doll she claims as a living baby. She counts them down to each grandchild, great-grandchild, and even those great-greats.
Others I don’t know as well are given grand birthday celebrations. What fun to watch dozens of family members celebrate their one common ancestor’s birthday.
I only have one son and he comes frequently with my precious grandkids. There’ll never be dozens of them. But if I go back in time to those holidays of my youth, aunts, uncles (all veterans) and cousins gathered for food and fellowship and a game of Clue or two. And my aunt’s chat about her latest book by Agatha Christie. Yes, I remember what large family celebrations feel like and how family traditions were passed down.
I never thought of my mother as a member of the “greatest generation,” but looking back on it, of course the children qualified. Children born during the hardship of the depression and growing up during a war became the adults who pushed America into world dominance in the fifties and sixties.
I didn’t pay enough attention to Mom’s stories about the war. She talked about collecting scrap metal, about getting a drink, popcorn, and an afternoon at the movies for ten cents. Her only brother, my Uncle Billy, left America early to join the Canadian air force. For some reason, she was the only one at home the day he left. He listened to the same record, over and over, until the time came to catch the bus. After America’s entry into the war, two of my aunts married soldiers. One marriage survived the test of time. The other fell apart.
Uncle Billy did return home, and I never heard anything about his time in the military, nor did I hear of my grandfather’s time during the first war. My father fought in Korea.
Why is there always a war? It makes me think of a verse in Judges that says, “These are the nations the LORD left to test all those Israelites who had not experienced any of the wars in Canaan (he did this only to teach warfare to the descendants of the Israelites who had not had previous battle experience.)” (Judges 3:1-2, NIV)
Hmm, to test us?
At least one generation allowed war to bring out the best of us. Let’s pray the same for our children and grandchildren who continue to defend our country. For those of us who heard their stories first hand, let’s pass them on. Future generations have much to learn from the shoulders they stand on.

Every month, RSVP of Central Oklahoma volunteers put together Project Red, White & Blue gift bags to be given to older veterans throughout Oklahoma and Cleveland Counties.
A single line from the insert included in the bag says it all. “Freedom isn’t free…Thank you Veterans!” From toothbrushes to socks, snacks to tissues, Project Red, White & Blue allows older adult RSVP volunteers in the community to express their thanks to veterans for serving and protecting.
RSVP of Central Oklahoma, Inc. is part of the Corporation for National and Community Service and a United Way partner agency. Thanks to the Kirkaptrick Family Fund, RSVP volunteers are able to assemble these bags and have them delivered to deserving older veterans throughout our community.
Kim Sanders is an RSVP volunteer who delivers the bags and is able to see firsthand the impact Project Red, White and Blue has.
“When I deliver the bags, they’re so excited to get them. There are useful items in the bag that people have thoughtfully prepared and they really appreciate them,” Sanders said.
The gesture may seem simple, but for a veteran to know that someone took the time to create a bag full of useful goods and to deliver it to them can mean the world.
“It is so nice to be thought of and appreciated. I live alone and on a fixed income. This bag has so many items that I don’t have to go out and purchase. RSVP has always been so wonderful to me. I truly appreciate this thoughtful gift,” World War II veteran Don Weaver said.
RSVP of Central Oklahoma, Inc. enriches the lives of older adults by connecting them with meaningful and rewarding community volunteer opportunities. Since 1973, their vision has been for older adults to continue to live a life full of purpose and meaning.

by Sheila Kennedy-Stewart, MSN, RN, CMSRN

As many nurses know today, the hospitals remain full. Unit nurses are faced with taking additional patient loads and emergency departments are over run and holding admitted patients due to no unit bed availability. Throughput comes to a standstill.
Throughput is a number one strategic priority of Integris Southwest Medical Center. Improving patient throughput by setting high goals, ensuring the goals are transparent to all the organization and meeting these goals in a timely manner are priorities of Leadership for this institution. Recently, Leadership of this hospital was not just merely voicing support – but was putting these goals into action.
With the ER holding sixteen patients to be admitted and less than a handful of rooms available for seeing new emergent patients, the leaders of Patient Care Services and the Emergency Department acted. With no additional nursing staff to open and staff an overflow unit, leadership of both these departments opened the floor with themselves as floor staff. This is True Nursing Leadership.
Kim Brewer, Patient Care Services Manager; Kelly Savas, House Supervisor; Tela Brown, Emergency Department Director; Jacob Lovell, Emergency Department Manager; and Todd Hendricks, Emergency Department Team Lead opened the overflow medical unit and began receiving patients from the ED. Within a few hours, ten patients had been admitted to the floor, assessed and orders initiated or continued for the quality care of these patients.
This is leading by example in its highest form. These nursing leaders are transformational leaders who exemplify our nursing philosophy. Integris Southwest is fortunate to have this caliber of nursing leadership in the ranks. Kudos!

Iris Memory Care of Edmond Engages Residents

by Bobby Anderson, Staff Writer

With a lifetime spent serving seniors battling age-related memory diseases, Ben Pearce noticed a pattern. Living options for people with Alzheimer’s or dementia issues focused on keeping them protected in environments that often separated them from the things they once lived for. So he devoted his life to finding ways to help people regain that happiness and helping them thrive.
“People are people and even though they have a disease it doesn’t mean they become the disease,” said Pearce, a recognized worldwide expert on the subject of aging. “They want as much engagement as you and I would. Our dementia program allows us to understand a person not only as someone who suffers from illness, but also as someone who inhabits healthy routines and a personality that remains even though it seems to be hidden by illness. Engaging the person behind the impairment allows activities to become therapy.”
With more than three decades of experience working with more than 200 communities in 36 states, Pearce also teaches on the subject at Johns Hopkins University. Pearce’s results in seeing through the fog of dementia to reach people are both innovative and groundbreaking and that’s why David Krukiel and Brandon Meszaros – owners and founders of Iris Memory Care of Edmond – engaged him to provide residents the best possible experience.
“Brandon and I sought high and low, all around the nation, to bring in the best operations team to make our mission of providing the best care for our residents a reality. Upon meeting Ben, it was an easy decision. We founded Iris Memory Care on three principles: Compassion, Dignity and Comfort. Ben not only understands our principles, he lives them!” said Krukiel. “Ben’s knowledge and hands-on-approach is a key component to ‘The Iris Difference’”.
THE IRIS DIFFERENCE
From the moment you walk through the front door you can tell Iris is different. The familiar sights, sounds, and aromas invite you to engage with your loved one in a comfortable, stimulating environment. The kitchen is traditionally known as the heart of the home, and at Iris Memory Care it serves as the heart of the community. The open-concept kitchen encourages residents and visitors to interact with cooks as they prepare classic dishes with fresh seasonal ingredients. Menus include meals your loved one will be familiar with, as well as family recipes shared by others. The food is only part of the dining experience; the sensory cues and social interactions that go along with each meal are equally important.
In the great room, a grand piano sets the tone for expression as residents, caregivers, and visitors are welcome to play. Countertops throughout are made of high-end granite, providing visual warmth and natural durability. Strikingly beautiful hardwood-like floors provide an elegant look while minimizing fall risks. Even the wall colors are specially chosen for their calming qualities.
PERSONAL PATH OF CARE
Krukiel and Meszaros understand residents experience the challenges of memory loss in different ways – and a routine that works well today may not be as effective tomorrow. That’s why Iris provides Personalized Paths of Care with the flexibility to adapt to the moment and be regularly updated with input from caregivers and nursing staff.
The Iris Memory Care approach to care revolves around four simple, yet powerful, factors:
· Getting to Know Your Loved One
When a new resident joins the Iris community, staff conducts a personal evaluation to identify your loved one’s cognitive function, social interaction, mobility challenges, special dietary needs, and more. Family members are welcome to attend the evaluation to offer insights about past events, personality traits, friends, relatives, hobbies, and other details that will help Iris staff connect with your loved one.
· Attentive Physical Care
From proper nutrition, hydration, and medication management to compassionate assistance with activities of daily life, the needs of your loved one are central to each care pathway. Once a Personalized Path of Care is created, staff works daily to strengthen their abilities and promote independence.
·Positive Social Engagement
An important point of difference for Iris Memory Care is the emphasis placed on making connections. Staff members visit each resident multiple times per day, and make it a point to facilitate connections among residents with similar interests. Outings to foster connections with the surrounding community are also offered.
· Sensory Enrichment
With memory impairment, activities that stimulate the senses and encourage hands-on participation can be invaluable ways to soothe or delight your loved one in the moment. Music and art play an important role in the care provided, as do stage-appropriate tasks.
Pearce has discovered the type of engagement offered at Iris is critical in helping residents thrive. “The industry standard is offering care with random activities. We’re reversing that paradigm to provide continuous therapeutic activities as our main focus, with the care that residents routinely need as supportive,” Pearce says. “This means we offer activities with care, not care with activities. Quality of life goes on all day long at Iris Memory Care. Quality of life is continuous and people expect and need to be engaged in that quality of life so they can remain positive, focused and enriched.”

Dear Savvy Senior,

When my father passed away a few months ago we had him cremated, but are now wondering what to do with his ashes. My sister and I would like to do something celebratory for his life, but aren’t sure what to do. Any suggestions?

No Instructions Left

Dear No,
If your dad didn’t leave any final instructions on what to do with his cremated remains (ashes), you have a wide array of choices. They can be kept, buried or scattered in a variety of ways and in many locations. Here are some different options to help you decide.
Keep Close By: For many people, keeping the ashes of their deceased love one close by provides a feeling of comfort. If you fit into this category, you could keep his ashes in an urn on the mantel or in a cabinet, or you could also scatter some of them into your lawn or garden, shake them into a backyard pond or dig a hole and bury them. Another possible option is eco-friendly urns (like UrnaBios.com or EterniTrees.com) that contain a seed that grows into a tree or plant after being buried.
Cemetery Options: If you want your dad’s final resting place to be at a cemetery, you have several choices depending on how much you’re willing to spend. With most cemeteries, you can either bury his ashes in a plot, or place them in cremation monument, a mausoleum, or a cemetery building called a columbarium.
Scatter Them: If you want to scatter his ashes, to help you chose an appropriate location, think about what your dad would have liked. For example, did he have a favorite fishing spot, camping area, golf course, beach or park that held a special meaning? These are all possibilities, but be aware to that if you choose to scatter his ashes in a public location or on private land, you’ll need get permission from the management, local government or the land owner.
National parks, for example, require you to have a permit before you scatter ashes. If you wish to dispose of them at sea, the Environmental Protection Agency asks you be at least three miles from shore. Beach scatterings are also illegal in some states, including California, but are rarely enforced. And many public areas, like Central Park and Disneyland prohibit scattering ashes too, as do most professional and college sports stadiums.
Untraditional Methods: If you want to do something truly unique with his ashes, you have many choices here too, but they can get pricy ranging from a few hundred to several thousand dollars. Here are several to consider.
Scattering by air: This free-spirited option lets you spread your dad’s ashes into the sky so the particles can be taken by the wind. To do this, you could hire a private plane, helicopter or hot air balloon service, or use a balloon scattering service like EternalAscent.com or Mesoloft.com. Or, you could even send his ashes into outer space with ElysiumSpace.com.
Scattering by sea: If your dad loved the water, there are many businesses that offer ash scattering services at sea, especially close to coastal areas, or you could rent a boat and do it yourself. There are also companies like EternalReefs.com that offer reef memorials so your dad’s ashes can rest on the ocean floor.
Ashes to keepsakes: If you want a keepsake of your dad, you can also turn some of his ashes into a wide variety of memorabilia, such as: diamonds (see LifeGem.com or DNA2Diamonds.com); jewelry or other handcrafted glass items (ArtFromAshes.com and Memorials.com); vinyl records (Andvinyly.com); gun ammunition (MyHolySmoke.com); or an hourglass urn (InTheLightUrns.com).
Send your senior questions to: Savvy Senior, P.O. Box 5443, Norman, OK 73070, or visit SavvySenior.org. Jim Miller is a contributor to the NBC Today show and author of “The Savvy Senior” book.