Dear Savvy Senior,

What’s the best way to distribute my personal possessions to my kids after I’m gone without causing hard feelings or conflict? I have a lot of jewelry, art, family heirlooms and antique furniture, and three grown kids that don’t always see eye-to-eye on things. Planning Ahead

Dear Planning,
Divvying up personal possessions among adult children or other loved ones can often be a difficult task. Deciding who should get what without showing favoritism, hurting someone’s feeling or causing a feud can be difficult, even for close-knit families who enter the process with the best of intentions. Here are a few tips to consider that can help you divide your stuff with minimal conflict.
Problem Areas
For starters, you need to be aware that it’s usually the small, simple items of little monetary value that cause the most conflicts. This is because the value we attach to the small personal possessions is usually sentimental or emotional, and because the simple items are the things that most families fail to talk about.
Family battles can also escalate over whether things are being divided fairly by monetary value. So for items of higher value like your jewelry, antiques and art, consider getting an appraisal to assure fair distribution. To locate an appraiser, see Appraisers.org or AppraisersAssociation.org.
Ways to Divvy
The best solution for passing along your personal possessions is for you to go through your house with your kids or other heirs either separately or all at once. Open up cabinets, drawers and closets, and go through boxes in the attic and/or basement to find out which items they would like to inherit and why. They may have some emotional attachment to something you’re not aware of. If more than one child wants the same thing, you will have the ultimate say.
Then you need to sit down and make a list of who gets what on paper, signed, dated and referenced in your will. You can revise it anytime you want. You may also want to consider writing an additional letter or create an audio or video recording that further explains your intentions.
You can also specify a strategy for divvying up the rest of your property. Here are some methods that are fair and reasonable:
· Take turns choosing: Use a round-robin process where your kids take turns choosing the items they would like to have. If who goes first becomes an issue, they can always flip a coin, draw straws or roll dice. Also, to help simplify things, break down the dividing process room-by-room, versus tackling the entire house. To keep track of who gets what, either make a list or use adhesive dots with a color assigned to each person to tag the item.
· Have a family auction: Give each person involved the same amount of play money, or use virtual points or poker chips to bid on the items they want.
For more ideas, see “Who Gets Grandma’s Yellow Pie Plate?” at YellowPiePlate.umn.edu. This is a resource created by the University of Minnesota Extension Service that offers a detailed workbook or interactive CD for $12.50, and DVD for $30 that gives pointers to help families discuss property distribution and lists important factors to keep in mind that can help avoid conflict.
It’s also very important that you discuss your plans in advance with your kids so they can know ahead what to expect. Or, you may even want to start distributing some of your items now, while you can still alive.
Send your senior questions to: Savvy Senior, P.O. Box 5443, Norman, OK 73070, or visit SavvySenior.org. Jim Miller is a contributor to the NBC Today show and author of “The Savvy Senior” book.

by Bobby Anderson, Staff Writer

To say Mike Isaac’s resume is extensive would be an understatement.
EMT, police officer, detective, SWAT team member – all of it has combined into Isaac’s RN Nurse Manager role at JD McCarty Center for Children with Developmental Disabilities in Norman.
And for the past six years now, Isaac has been a nurse. But his past is almost as interesting as his present.
Fellow nurse manager Suanne Livingston likes working alongside Isaac and is constantly amazed by his background.
“He’s very organized and he’s very respected,” Livingston said. “He does a great job with staff. When he was a staff nurse he was a great staff nurse. I kind of defer to him as far as how he handles things employee-wise because he’s a little more hard-nosed than I am.”
“I learn a lot from him and I kind of watch and learn how he handles situations.”
Isaac worked in emergency rooms at night to help put him through college. He applied for PA school and quickly found it wasn’t a career track he wanted to pursue.
He spent some time in medical research and a couple other jobs before signing on with the Norman Police Department as an EMT for the ambulance service.
He attended the prerequisite police academy and later pursued his master’s degree. The only problem was working those 24-hour EMT shifts really took a toll on his studies.
So he decided to become a police officer instead.
“I said I would just transfer over and I did,” Isaac said. “I did really well and got promoted quickly and did a bunch of really good stuff but I got really interested in things involving mental health.”
A detective and eventually a supervisor, Isaac helped craft Norman’s policy on dealing with mental health subjects. His plans were carried over into department’s across the nation during his 27 years with Norman PD.
Isaac’s reputation earned him a spot helping craft officer-involved shooting policy.
“They weren’t getting the help they needed post-shooting,” Isaac said. “There were a lot of trauma victims involved with homicide and rape – two of the things I was assigned to – that weren’t getting follow-up care to prevent and treat post traumatic stress.”
Working with the FBI’s Behavioral Science unit in Quantico, Va., he helped craft policy to protect all involved.
“You didn’t take their gun right after a shooting. You took it as evidence but you replaced it,” Isaac said. “You didn’t put them on a desk job and treat them like they were unable to do work. Basically we wrote it so they would get a return to work slip.”
The process helped officers work through the ensuing mental and physical issues while protecting their personal health information. Inservice training was given and officers qualified again at the shooting range before easing back into their duties while riding with a supervisor.
“That was actually taken to Quantico for the national FBI academy that all law enforcement agencies around the world send people to.
“Our policy is still given out there.”
A friend mentioned he would be a perfect fit for nursing school.
“They sold me on this BADNAP program,” Isaac said of Oklahoma City Community College’s accelerated nursing program. “It was a great program. I wouldn’t do it again but it was a great way to get in and get employed and get out. I had a couple jobs before I even graduated.”
EMT, policeman, mental health advocate – you would think it all prepared him for nursing school.
“It did, but the pace was a great equalizer. It was just so fast. I don’t know how some of those people did it,” Isaac said. “I don’t know how some of those people did it, single heads of households with children to take to soccer games and other things.
“They were my heroes throughout. It was a great experience.”
Day and night, Isaac completed his ADN in eight months.
“It was tough but it was good. They don’t cut any corners,” Isaac said.
Assessment, investigation, report writing and observation – all skills Isaac honed in his former life have prepared him for a nursing career.
Nursing care plans are still vital. Different disciplines are heavily involved such as dietary and physical therapy.
He laughs when he admits his experience as Norman’s chief hostage negotiator still comes in handy.
But most days he doesn’t need it.
“The opportunity to see mostly the direct care staff grow in professionalism and responsibility so they can take ownership,” Isaac said of his greatest reward. “I always tell them when I interview it’s not a nursing home for kids.”

Harry and Betty Wales are quick to tell you that in 1954, when God called them to serve, He promised to provide for them in their faithfulness and He has always done so. Betty and Harry worked their farm in Iowa for 20 years. When they received their separate callings, both struggled against accepting God’s call and did not share the news with each other for several weeks. Harry was content in his role of farmer. Betty knew speaking to a congregation was not her gift. Betty laughed as she related her profound relief when Harry told her he had been called by God to the ministry; she then understood her role was to be by his side, standing shoulder-to-shoulder in the ministry. Harry preached to Nazarene congregations across the southwest for more than 40 years before retiring in Oklahoma City in 2000.
Throughout his ministry, Harry worked two jobs, enabling Betty to stay home with their two daughters. Together, they served the Lord living each day with the promise that God would provide for all their needs. Although retired, Harry has continued his ministry at the Warr Acres Senior Center (4301 Ann Arbor) for more than 18 years offering support through prayer, teaching Bible study classes, and sharing God’s word. Diane Maguire, coordinator at the Warr Acres center, describes Harry as the ‘chaplain’ of the center. He is always willing to share in joy or sorrow. Betty also continues serving others by making coffee at the senior center every morning, helping with lunch. Harry and Betty are truly extraordinary volunteers, goodwill ambassadors, and faithful to their calling.
In November 2018, Harry and Betty celebrated 69 years of marriage. At the glorious ages of 90 (90 is the new 70!) and 87, respectively, Harry and Betty remain firm in their faith that God will continue to provide. Falls have taken a toll on both Harry and Betty this past year. Harry can no longer remodel old houses to provide additional income or to make them habitable for his family. Hospitalizations and the need to be in a rehabilitation care unit with mounting medical bills add to financial concerns.
Unfortunately, working every day for more than 60 years does not guarantee you a comfortable retirement. Since retiring, Harry and Betty rely on the monthly financial support of their daughters, a pension from the church, and the graces of past congregations. When the air conditioning in their home went out this past summer, a former congregation stepped in to replace the irreparable system. Those who know Harry and Betty best, will tell you it is a joy and honor to help them. Their optimism and complete faith that God will provide shines in all they do. Because friends are doing yard work, helping them exercise, making minor home repairs and providing other needs, they are surviving retirement.
Surviving is defined as remaining alive. Merely surviving retirement is never the goal – it’s not how we envision ourselves living out our mature years. Surviving is not comfortable nor is it fun; surviving can be unnerving. Sadly, too many seniors merely survive retirement. The struggles are real, but you are not alone.
Advance 2-1-1 Oklahoma is an easy-access system designed to offer information about and referrals to community services for both those who need help, and those who provide help. Find out what is available by calling 211, or, try out the new text service “211OK” by texting your zip code to 898-211. In Oklahoma City, Sunbeam Family Services, Catholic Charities, Legal Aid, Neighborhood Services Organization and The Salvation Army are a few agencies that stand ready to assist seniors, as well as, more than 60 food pantries.
Senior News and Living OK has a dedicated phone line for you to ASK LISA questions or share information; please call 405-631-5100, Ext. 5 and leave your name, phone number, and a message regarding your concern.
AFTERTHOUGHTS with Lisa
About four years ago, I was in the emergency room with family members, discussing the dangers of falling with a gentleman and his wife. The gentleman and I had both fallen that evening and were waiting our x-ray results. My son walked in and asked, “Mom, how bad was your fall?” Without hesitation, the gentleman said, “Young man, it is inappropriate to use obscene language in present company.” Raucous laughter followed as he explained, “FALL” is our new four-letter word. All agreed that a “FALL” was to be avoided at all costs!
Winter weather is very unpredictable in Oklahoma; avoid wet or icy sidewalks and driveways. If you must be out in the weather take care of YOU; broken bones are no fun and recuperation is difficult!! Use your cane, walker, or a helpful arm when you must be out in the weather.

Independent studies place Mercy in the lead for quality of care and patient safety

Shorter hospital stays, fewer complications and better patient results are just a few metrics used to rank Mercy as a leading health care organization. For the third year in a row, Mercy is one of the top five large U.S. health systems in the 2018 Watson Health 15 Top Health System study. In addition, Mercy Hospital Oklahoma City received an “A” safety grade from The Leapfrog Group, an independent hospital watchdog group, in ratings released today.
“This level of national recognition reflects the hard work of countless co-workers who care for our patients every single day,” said Jim Gebhart, president of Mercy Hospital Oklahoma City and regional strategy officer. “We have made these efforts across many communities and many states because, like the Sisters of Mercy before us, we are dedicated to providing exceptional care for all.”
The Watson Health study, formerly the Truven Health Analytics study, analyzes 338 health systems and 2,422 hospitals across the U.S. Leapfrog Hospital Safety Scores assign A, B, C, D and F letter grades to 2,500 hospitals nationwide, providing the most complete picture of patient safety in the U.S. health care system.
Both Watson and Leapfrog combine rigorous analysis of individual hospital performance and metrics by using objective, independent research and public data sources. Hospitals and health systems do not apply for consideration.
Mercy outperformed peers in the following ways:
*Saved more lives and caused fewer patient complications
*Lower cost of care
*Readmitted patients less frequently
*Shorter wait times in emergency departments
*Shorter hospital stays
*Better patient safety
*Higher patient satisfaction
Some of the keys to improving the quality of patient care have included efforts made possible because of Mercy’s dedicated team, leading technology and best practices:
* Hand hygiene, while seemingly simple, is difficult to enforce, especially across an organization with 40,000 co-workers. By establishing Mercy-wide goals and putting rigorous plans in place, Mercy has reduced one of the most common health-care associated infections, Clostridium difficile (C-diff), by 67 percent from 2016 to the present.
* With more than 2,000 integrated physicians – one of the largest medical groups in the nation – Mercy brings primary care and specialty doctors together to implement proven, clinical-based best practices to improve patient care.
* Mercy was among the first health care organizations in the U.S. to have an integrated electronic health record (EHR) connecting all points of care. With a finely-tuned EHR, clinical best practices can be hard-wired into the system, resulting in triggers that warn of possible complications at very early stages, as well as data that can help reduce variation and improve compliance.
* Specialty councils, made up of physicians, nurses and clinicians, represent more than 40 areas of medicine, providing best practices for everything from heart surgery to the delivery of babies.
“This award speaks to the engagement of our staff and physicians in the journey toward high quality, reliable care,” said Terri-Anne Bone, vice president of performance improvement for Mercy Hospital Oklahoma City. “While the award recognizes our efforts to date, we know that there is work to be done. The kind of diligence our co-workers demonstrate will enable Mercy to continue to improve care in the future.”
Mercy Hospital Oklahoma City was also recently named one of the nation’s 100 Top Hospitals® by IBM Watson Health. In addition, Mercy Hospital Oklahoma City was one of only 13 hospitals in the nation to receive the Everest Award, achieving the highest national benchmarks along with the greatest improvement over five consecutive years.