by Greg Schwem

“Do you mind if I touch you?” I asked my wife one evening after dinner.
“Not at all,” she replied with a soft giggle.
“You’re sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure.” But the giggle had disappeared.
“There will be no negative ramifications or consequences if I place my hand anywhere on your body?” I asked, extending my hand toward her waist.
She slapped it away. “WHAT is going on?”
I recounted the story that played out on a recent business trip to New Orleans. After saying goodbye to a college friend who happened to be in town, I decided to have a nightcap at one of the dozens of bars dotting Bourbon Street. There was nothing special about the establishment; it featured two levels, the lower containing dozens of patrons in various stages of inebriation. I opted for the top floor.
I found a lone couple sitting at the bar. “Perfect,” I thought. “Maybe a chance to engage in some quiet conversation.” Chatting up strangers at bars is a pastime I sorely missed during quarantine. For starters, I am a standup comedian by trade and some of my best ideas, which later become comedic bits, germinate during bar conversations. Not all comedians write material this way, but it works for me.
More importantly, people in general fascinate me. I talk for a living, but I’m also an excellent listener. To me, there is nothing worse than seeing a bar full of customers engrossed in their phones, oblivious to their surroundings. Everybody has a story to tell if given a chance.
The bartender seemed to be taking an inordinately long time mixing the woman’s drink. I turned to her companion. “What’s she having?”
The bartender replied instead, naming some oddly titled New Orleans drink that I have since forgotten. I do know it wasn’t a Hurricane.
‘Well, it looks amazing,” I said to the man. Placing my hand on top of his shoulder, I added, “I think I’ll have one too. I’ve still got an hour before curfew.”
Without laughing or even smiling, he turned to me.
“Don’t ever touch me again.”
I should note, he added an unprintable word between ‘ever” and “touch.”
Then he took his hand, and not so gently shoved the side of my head. Without bothering to ask me if I liked being touched.
While his companion stared sullenly at her now completed drink, the man got off his stool and began to pace. I didn’t know if he had been overserved, for doing so would have required making eye contact. What if he didn’t like being stared at either?
The bartender, sensing a situation, intervened. Turning to me, he said, “Sir, why don’t you head downstairs?”
I took the hint.
“That sounds horrible,” my wife said. “Did he think you were hitting on him?”
“I put my hand on top of his shoulder. I didn’t try to kiss him,” I said.
“Can’t you just keep your hands off people?” she inquired. “What if he had a gun?”
How sad, I thought, that a simple gesture of friendship or inquisitiveness could end with gun violence.
“I won’t be touching anybody’s possessions either,” I said.
“Why not?”
Two days after returning from New Orleans, I was sitting in a traffic jam while heading to Chicago for a meeting. The Honda CRV, creeping in front of me, contained a decal to the left of its license tag stating, “Don’t Touch My Car.”
What frightened me wasn’t the command but the two-stick figure artwork accompanying it. One figure was crouched on its knees, its head being held down by the second figure, whose free hand contained an upraised stick. The message? Touch this particular Honda and get beaten over the head. Maybe it was the owner’s way of saying, “No Tailgating.” Or maybe the owner just returned from New Orleans. Regardless, I changed lanes.
I pondered the fact that I now fear the consequences of exhibiting a friendly gesture or inadvertently bumping a cheap vehicle. Our nation’s anger is manifesting itself in strange ways, in strange locations. Now, two years after quarantine forced everybody inside, I’m still not comfortable venturing outside, for who knows? I too might become angry at the slightest provocation.
I guess I’ll just stay indoors and watch TV. Oh, look, another Jan. 6 committee hearing is about to get underway.
(Greg Schwem is a corporate stand-up comedian and author of two books: “Text Me If You’re Breathing: Observations, Frustrations and Life Lessons From a Low-Tech Dad” and the recently released “The Road To Success Goes Through the Salad Bar: A Pile of BS From a Corporate Comedian,” available at Amazon.com. Visit Greg on the web at www.gregschwem.com.
You’ve enjoyed reading, and laughing at, Greg Schwem’s monthly humor columns in Senior Living News. But did you know Greg is also a nationally touring stand-up comedian? And he loves to make audiences laugh about the joys, and frustrations, of growing older. Watch the clip and, if you’d like Greg to perform at your senior center or senior event, contact him through his website at www.gregschwem.com)

Dear Savvy Senior, Next month I am moving to a different state so I can be near my daughter and grandkids. Do I need to notify Social Security and Medicare about the move?
Relocating Grandma

Dear Relocating,
Yes, if you’re a Social Security and Medicare recipient you definitely need to let these Federal agencies know when and where you move so there are no hiccups in your benefits or coverage. Here’s what you should know.
How to Update Your Info.
If you’re receiving Social Security retirement, survivors or disability benefits, it’s required that you notify the Social Security Administration when you move to ensure your deposits continue and you avoid disruptions.
You’ll need to provide them your new mailing address so they can deliver important documents to you like your annual SSA-1099 tax form. And if you’re switching banks or credit unions, you’ll need to update your direct deposit information by providing your new financial institution’s routing number and account number.
If you’re a Medicare beneficiary, they too need your new mailing address so bills, correspondence, your Medicare Summary Notice and other statements can go to the right address.
You can update both your Social Security and Medicare contact information online by simply using the “My Profile” tab in your personal “my Social Security” account at SSA.gov/myaccount. If you don’t have an account, you can create one online for free in just a few minutes.
Or, if you need some help or don’t have internet access, you can call Social Security at 800-772-1213, or visit your local Social Security office and they will make the changes for you.
Medicare Private Plans
You also need to know that if you’re enrolled in original Medicare, you can move anywhere within the United States without losing coverage. But if you have Part D prescription drug coverage or a Medicare Advantage plan from a private health insurance company, and you move out of the plan’s service area, you’ll have to switch plans or you’ll face losing coverage.
Part D service areas typically are statewide or can extend to parts of neighboring states, while Medicare Advantage plans’ service areas vary by county.
Moving out of a plan’s service area qualifies you for a special enrollment period (SEP) of at least two months to get a new plan. You may also qualify if you move within your plan’s service area and it offers options different from what you had. The enrollment timing depends on when you notify the plan.
If you tell your plan before you move, your chance to switch plans begins the month before the month you move and continues for two full months after you move. If you tell your plan after you move, your chance to switch plans begins the month you tell your plan, plus two more full months.
To shop for new Part D and Medicare Advantage plans in your new area, use the Medicare Plan Finder tool at https://www.medicare.gov/plan-compare.
You can also switch Part D or Medicare Advantage plans during open enrollment, which runs each year from Oct. 15 to Dec. 7 for coverage starting Jan. 1.
Medigap Plans
If you’re enrolled in original Medicare and have a Medigap supplemental policy you usually don’t have to switch plans if you move, but you do need to notify your provider. Some insurers let you keep the rate based on the state where you originally applied for Medigap. Others may change your premiums to coincide with their coverage in a different zip code.

Send your senior questions to: Savvy Senior, P.O. Box 5443, Norman, OK 73070, or visit https://savvysenior.org. Jim Miller is a contributor to the NBC Today show and author of “The Savvy Senior” book.

Three six-month-old Chinese alligators arrive at the OKC Zoo as part of Species Survival Plan.

The Oklahoma City Zoo and Botanical Garden is pleased to announce the arrival of three six-month-old Chinese alligator siblings who hatched in September 2020 at Sedgewick County Zoo in Wichita, Kansas. This exciting addition marks the first time the Zoo’s animal family has included Chinese alligators in its history. The Zoo is now home to both of the world’s only two alligator species – Chinese alligators and American alligators. With only 120 individual Chinese alligators left in the wild, the Zoo joins its Association of Zoos and Aquariums (AZA) partners to preserve the species as part of the Chinese Alligator Species Survival Plan® (SSP) and reintroduction program.
“We’re proud to commit to this collaborative conservation effort and do our part to help revitalize the declining population of Chinese alligators in their native habitat,” said the Zoo’s Assistant Curator of Herpetology, Seamus Ehrhard. “By participating in this SSP program, we have the opportunity to make a powerful impact on Chinese alligator conservation, while raising public awareness for this lesser-known crocodilian species.”
The Chinese alligator, unlike the abundant American alligator, is critically endangered. AZA’s SSP and reintroduction programs were created to increase wild populations, while ensuring genetic diversity. In 2003, the first Chinese alligators bred in human care were successfully reintroduced into the wild – a promising testament to the critical role AZA-accredited zoos and aquariums have in conserving wildlife. Listed as critically endangered by the International Union for Conservation of Nature, Chinese alligators are threatened by habitat loss. The species is confined to a small area of the Yangtze River basin in Eastern China.
At this time, the Zoo will act as a housing facility for the Chinese alligator hatchlings with a goal of participating in the Chinese alligator breeding program in the future. The young alligator ambassadors will live at the Zoo for a few years before being paired with a mate at another AZA organization. The hatchlings are now on public view at the Zoo’s Underground habitat in the Children’s Zoo, next to the Zoo’s alligator snapping turtle hatchlings.
Chinese alligators are relatively small compared to American alligators – reaching an average length of five feet. The species can also be distinguished by its upturned snout and robust head. Calm and reserved by nature, Chinese alligators are known as highly intelligent and inquisitive creatures. The local name for the species is Yow-Lung or T’o, meaning “dragon.”
We hope to see you later alligator! The OKC Zoo invites you to meet its newest additions at their habitat in the Children’s Zoo. The Oklahoma City Zoo is open from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. daily. Advance tickets are required for all guests and ZOOfriends members and can be purchased at http://www.okczoo.org/tickets. Zoo tickets are limited each day to ensure safe social distancing among guests. Located at the crossroads of I-44 and I-35, the OKC Zoo is a proud member of the Association of Zoos and Aquariums, the American Alliance of Museums, Oklahoma City’s Adventure District and an Adventure Road partner. Regular admission is $12 for adults and $9 for children ages 3-11 and seniors ages 65 and over. Children two and under are admitted free. Stay up-to-date with the Zoo on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and TikTok, and by visiting Our Stories. Zoo fans can support the OKC Zoo by becoming a member. Memberships can be purchased at ZOOfriends.org or any place admission is sold in the Zoo’s Entry Plaza during regular business hours. To learn more about this event and Zoo other happenings, call (405) 424-3344 or visit www.okczoo.org.

Dear Savvy Senior,

I’m planning to enroll in original Medicare in a few months and have been told I probably need to get a Medicare supplemental policy too. Can you offer any tips on selecting one? Almost 65

Dear Almost,
If you’re enrolling in original Medicare, getting a supplemental policy (also known as Medigap insurance) too is a smart idea because it will help pay for things that aren’t covered by Medicare like copayments, coinsurance and the Part A deductible. Here are some tips to help you choose an appropriate plan.
Medigap Plans
In all but three states (Massachusetts, Minnesota, and Wisconsin), Medigap plans, which are sold by private health insurers, are available to new enrollees in eight different standardized plans. These plans are labeled with the letters A, B, D, G, K, L, M and N, with two more, C and F, that are only available to those eligible for Medicare before 2020.
Plan G is the most popular policy among new enrollees because it covers the most comprehensive range of benefits. Monthly premiums for Plan G typically range between $100 and $300, depending on your age and the state you reside in. If that’s more than you’re willing to pay, there are also high-deductible plans that have lower premiums but impose higher out-of-pocket costs. (story continues below)

For more information on the different types of plans and coverage details, including Medigap options in Massachusetts, Minnesota, and Wisconsin, go to Medicare.gov/publications and type in “choosing a medigap policy” in the Keyword box, and download their 2022 guide. Or call 1-800-MEDICARE and ask them to mail you a copy.
How to Choose
To pick a Medigap policy that works best for you, consider your health, family medical history and your budget. The differences among plans can be small and rather confusing.
To help you choose, visit Medicare.gov/medigap-supplemental-insurance-plans and type in your ZIP code. This will give you a list of the plans available in your area, their price ranges and the names, and contact information of companies that sell them. But to get specific pricing information, you’ll need to contact the carriers directly or call your State Health Insurance Assistance Program. See ShipHelp.org or call 877-839-2675 for contact information.
Since all Medigap policies with the same letter must cover the exact same benefits (it’s required by law), you should shop for the cheapest policy.
You’ll get the best price if you sign up within six months after enrolling in Medicare Part B. During this open-enrollment period, an insurer cannot refuse to sell you a policy or charge you more because of your health.
You also need to be aware of the pricing methods, which will affect your costs. Medigap policies are usually sold as either: “community-rated” where everyone in an area is charged the same premium regardless of age; “issue-age-rated” that is based on your age when you buy the policy, but will only increase due to inflation, not age; and “attained-age-rated,” that starts premiums low but increases as you age. Community-rate and issue-age-rated policies are the best options because they will save you money in the long run.
You can buy the plan directly from an insurance company, or you can work with a reputable insurance broker.
Drug Coverage
You also need to know that Medigap policies do not cover prescription drugs, so if you don’t have drug coverage, you’ll need to buy a separate Medicare Part D drug plan too. See Medicare.gov/plan-compare to compare plans. Also note that Medigap plans do not cover vision, dental care, hearing aids or long-term care.
Alternative Option
Instead of getting original Medicare, plus a Medigap policy and a separate Part D drug plan, you could sign up for a Medicare Advantage plan (see medicare.gov/plan-compare) that provides all-in-one coverage. These plans, which are sold by insurance companies, are generally available through HMOs and PPOs that require you to get your care within a network of doctors.
Send your senior questions to: Savvy Senior, P.O. Box 5443, Norman, OK 73070, or visit SavvySenior.org. Jim Miller is a contributor to the NBC Today show and author of “The Savvy Senior” book.